Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3

AIBU?

To wish my dh would learn to give his big mouth shut.

53 replies

Maisyblue · 03/09/2014 11:24

This is about facebook, I go on it he doesn't, but he takes an interest when I show him photos that friends and family put up. However sometimes I've shown him the odd pic that a friend of a friend has put up even though they're not on my friends list, but it's someone he knows. Nothing wrong with that is there because facebook is a social network site and anyone who puts photos up knows the whole world can see them if they wish right? I recently showed him a pic of someone he knows (but never an actual friend) who happened to be on holiday, he was mildly interested and hardly gave it any attention. Anyway the other day walking through town we bumped into this guy and after all the hellos and how are yous were out of the way, dh goes..."hey was you in Greece recently" other guy..."no I went to Turkey recently" ....dh....yes we saw you on FB, my wife saw the pics and showed them to me" Cue me going a little red in the face because I know that he knows we aren't friends on facebook. So this guy is then looking a bit quizzically at me and possibly thinking that I'm stalking him. Please believe me I wasn't. Anyway I explained in a kind of hurried embarrassed way I came across them through a mutual friend. Aibu that as soon as we are out of earshot I called dh stupid and all sorts of other names for causing me such embarrassment. I mean there was just no need to say anything was there.

OP posts:

Report

BeachyKeen · 03/09/2014 13:08

You were creeping, you got busted, why does your DH need to be lambasted?

" as soon as we are out of earshot I called dh stupid and all sorts of other names for
causing me such embarrassment."

but then you say

"Just where in any of my posts did I say it was my husbands fault?"

Maisyblue · 03/09/2014 13:09

Partial do try to keep up.

OP posts:

Germgirl · 03/09/2014 13:11

YABU but I'd have been embarrassed too. I bet my face was a picture the day I discovered people on LinkedIn can see who had viewed their profile! I'd been nosing at ex-colleagues & people I went to school with

Noooooooo! Can they? Shiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!!

Maisyblue · 03/09/2014 13:13

beachyKeen you obviously haven't read the posts properly. What I said was "where in any of my posts did I say it was my husbands fault" meaning I didn't say it was his fault I got embarrassed easily. Is it really that hard to understand?

OP posts:

sunbathe · 03/09/2014 13:16

YABU.

Maisyblue · 03/09/2014 13:19

germgirl. So glad I never joined that then.

OP posts:

partialderivative · 03/09/2014 13:23

Partial do try to keep up.

Patronising or what?

I just told you that some of what you wrote implied to me, that you clearly did think it was your husband's fault.

(Maybe you need to improve your communication skills.)

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 03/09/2014 13:27

Squirm! I'm not on FB yes wholly anachronistic but my DH tolerates the flow of updates on family and friends and it all washes over his head until the exact moment I'd rather he kept stumm when invariably he has perfect recall.

tittifilarious · 03/09/2014 13:29

Yes germgirl on the right hand side of the screen half way down.

differentnameforthis · 03/09/2014 13:29

Not your dh's fault, he isn't to blame for anything, neither are you.

The guy who posted them either didn't have his privacy high enough, so when your mutual friend liked it, fb notified you (which is what happens) or he tagged a mutual friend, which is why you saw it.

jellybelly701 · 03/09/2014 13:34

I agree with partial. You was arguing that you hadn't said it was DH fault whilst simultaneously saying that it was his fault..

wonkylegs · 03/09/2014 13:37

I don't think you DH was out of order, its just one of those things that happens with SNs these days especially if the original person doesn't have a reign on their profile access.

I have a big mouthed husband - who when I tell him something, the only way he is guaranteed not to blurt it out is to make him swear several times on pain of death that he's not going to say anything. I learnt this the hard way as he tends to bluntly tell family especially my off the cuff criticisms (even if he agrees with them) which I only say to blow off steam with him and don't particularly want shared with the world especially as his mum takes everything very personally so I am careful with what I say & how I say it....unlike big mouth. Grrr

BeachyKeen · 03/09/2014 13:37

sorry if I misunderstood what you posted.
You were creeping, you DH doesn't even have FB. You call him over to look at peoples pics.
When you guys run into someone, all you DH did was try to make nice conversation, using the info you gave him!!!
Then you call him names for mentioning it.

yabu

Mariposa10 · 03/09/2014 13:41

This is why I don't use Facebook. Is being able to look at acquaintances' holiday photos really worth having arguments with your husband over? If I were you I would prioritise relationships with people you are close to and who wouldn't be surprised to find out you'd been nosing through their photos when you barely know them.

hotfuzzra · 03/09/2014 13:49

YABU and now rude to the people whose opinion you asked!
He's probably thinking you're stupid for showing him stuff he's supposed to somehow psychically know you want him to pretend he shouldn't talk about.

ginnycakes · 03/09/2014 14:16

I'm astounded by the way you treated your dh! It appear to me like many others have said that he was just simply making conversation and that it wouldn't have occurred to him what he said was out of the ordinary for small talk. Shame on you for insulting him

ouryve · 03/09/2014 14:18

I'm struggling to understand the problem.

Maisyblue · 03/09/2014 15:16

No I would never be rude to anyone who wasn't being rude to me. I asked if I wbu and I was quite prepared to be told I was,but if some people can only respond in a rude way or by apparently deliberately misinterpreting what I'm saying...eg I was arguing that i didn't say it was dh fault while at the same time saying it was....no I said it it wasn't his fault for my supposed shortcomings Then I will respond in kind. There is no excuse for rudeness or deliberate twisting of my words.

OP posts:

Maisyblue · 03/09/2014 15:25

Btw it wasn't me who said that it was a shortcoming to be easily embarrassed but an earlier poster.

OP posts:

Bulbasaur · 03/09/2014 15:28

If you don't want people to see your pictures adjust the privacy settings. Honestly, it's not "stalking" if they put it up for all to see. There's nothing wrong with looking at public photos or photos that are through a friend.

I am prepared to say iwbu but will not accept my dh has no responsibity to my shortcomings.

Uhm.. No. Those are on you. If you're so insecure you're embarrassed over a very simple faux pas, you need to work on your self esteem.

If you had a child that was very easily embarrassed would you then love to draw people's attention to it and say things that you know would embarrass her?

But you're not a child are you? You're both adults, who are responsible for your own feelings and well being. You should be comfortable in your own skin by now.

jellybelly701 · 03/09/2014 15:37

eg I was arguing that i didn't say it was dh fault while at the same time saying it was....no I said it it wasn't his fault for my supposed shortcomings Then I will respond in kind. There is no excuse for rudeness or deliberate twisting of my words.

^ that was me, and below is what I was referring to.

Just where in any of my posts did I say it was my husbands fault? If you had a child that was very easily embarrassed would you then love to draw people's attention to it and say things that you know would embarrass her? Well it's not your fault is it....So why is it any different for an adult

Maisyblue · 03/09/2014 15:44

Bulbasaur I really don't need a lecture on how "comfortable in my own skin" I should be. You included my dh but I haven't at any point said he was lacking in confidence. I would love to be a more confident outgoing person, please if you know how tell me but the worse thing is to be told how I should be. Believe me if I could I would.

OP posts:

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Bulbasaur · 03/09/2014 15:52

Easy. By understanding there are things you can control, and things you can't. The things you can control, do your best with. Don't worry about things you can't control, because it will do you no good nor will it change anything.

You can't control how your DH acts, so don't worry about it. It's on him, not you. How he acts isn't a reflection on you, it's a reflection on him. You can only be responsible for you.

Think about it. You were embarrassed. The sun is still shining, your friend has probably already forgotten your DH's comment, and you're not any worse off for a silly faux pas.

How to be confident Bit superficial but you get the basic idea.

Maisyblue · 03/09/2014 16:02

It sounds like the general consensus is Iabu and I'm prepared to admit you are probably right. Bulbasaur....thanks for the tips! I'll get there one day.

OP posts:

partialderivative · 03/09/2014 17:58

There are not many of us who can admit to 'IABU'; respect!

Flip

1 2 3

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.