To want to be on my own at Christmas?

[periperisun]

Sorry I know it's early.

Basically have had a bereavement this year. Last member of my family so obviously I will be alone.

But I don't want to spend it with friends and I know they'll offer.

How can I say NO and be polite

[periperisun]

It surely depends on how well you know them Davs. If it's a good friend fair enough but if it's someone you only 'sort of know' then yes I do think it's odd to be all over them like a rash at Christmas but no other time (not saying you do by the way!)

[trashcanjunkie]

Well, I'll be here come christmas day - there was a chat thread for those alone I found last year. I'm going to have a full english breakfast with bucks fizz, and a really posh expensive turkey dinner with some kind of appallingly delicious pudding, and some really nice wine. I will walk my dog and watch a film and the queens speech. I will have a nice day despite everything, I just won't be made to jump through anybody else's christmas hoops. Peri we can meet for a virtual cuppa on the day if you like.

[Olddear]

Say 'thank you, that's very kind of you, but I'm choosing to spend the day quietly at home on my own'

[CariadsDarling]

Happy, for goodness sake :) , please phone one of your sons and ask which one of them you are going to this year.

Or if you are anywhere near me you are more than welcome. You won't be alone, I always have a house full of people at Christmas who aren't known to me because my children are inclined to bring whatever crew they are flying with on the day home with them if they fancy it. Thankfully they accept the invitation with the spirit its intended and a good time is had by all.

Or if you really dont fancy phoning your sons, and you live nowhere near me, how about you volunteer for the day if your health permits it, or put on a meal for some of your neighbours who perhaps may be old and lonely and needing the company?

Something like this would be great if you are in good health

www.crisis.org.uk/pages/volunteering-at-crisis-christmas.html

Or there is this

timebank.org.uk/christmas-volunteering

I hope it works out for you. :)

[TheHorseHasBolted]

I'm married with children, but if I lived alone, I would dearly love to spend Christmas entirely alone. The religious celebration doesn't really mean anything to me and I just like the thought of escaping from all the hype at least once. Even though this is a purely hypothetical dream for me, I just know there would be people who wouldn't be able to cope with the thought of me being alone and would put pressure on me to join them, and yes, I think I would perceive it as interfering, even though they probably didn't mean it that way.

Could you claim you are going on a retreat?

[Eleanor02]

A few years ago I spent Christmas day on my own - revising for upcoming exams. Neighbours had me in for a cuppa and a neighbourly chat broke up the day nicely. Peri - could you do a bit of both? Spend the day on your own - and make it interesting/enjoyable/peaceful/relaxing (whatever YOU want) as you can but touch base with others for an hour or two. I found it broke the monotony but I'd be quite happy without the invite.

Someone said she'd gone to a hut and was going to a cabin (or other way round). I love the idea of hiding places at a time like this!

This is a fab book (for Christmas or any other time of the year - on our own or with friends or family):www.amazon.co.uk/Places-Hide-Dixe-Wills/dp/1840467681/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1409166804&sr=1-1&keywords=dixie%20willis&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

Any of his books are good - Tiny Islands - Tiny Stations.

I digress!

Cariads - a lovely post by the way.

[Xenadog]

I've had Christmas by myself and it was great as I made sure everyone knew in advance that this was my plan and I let them know that I was looking forward to it. I think this might be the way you can preempt the invitations from friends if that's what you want to do peri.

Have you considered volunteering as well? (I know it was mentioned up thread) I've done that and it was good fun. I Helped at a homeless shelter and ran the Christmas quiz amongst other stuff.ma humbling but really enjoyable experience.

I think the big problem with Christmas is that such a big thing is made over one day - and it is only one day. You don't have to have to do anything you don't want to but have your explanations prepared before you tell folks.

[Primadonnagirl]

Tell people you are actually looking forward to it and have lots of treats planned.. That way they might actually believe it rather than think they are rescuing you and it's just that you are too polite to say you don't want to be alone!! I am sorry for your loss but I do understand what you mean..You could also say that spending the time alone will help you get over it and you find it comforting not upsetting?

[MrsDavidBowie]

Before I was married I had several Christmases on my own.
I loved it.
It was never my favourite time of the year and It still leaves me a bit cold.