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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to leave sleeping baby in the car at the park

124 replies

Chocolatefudgebrownieicecream · 18/08/2014 17:46

First post.
We have a 5mth and 2 yr old. We go to a park which has a car park right next to the play park area. Yesterday DH dropped the toddler and me at the park, took the shopping home and returned. When he returned he left the baby sleeping in the car. It was in the shade with the window down a crack. We were about 10-30meters from the car and could see it at all points. Nice area, open space around the car park so you would be able to see anyone approaching. DH thinks I was being daft to go and sit in the car. I felt really uncomfortable with him being there alone though. WIBU? Would you leave your baby alone in the car in these circumstances?

OP posts:
PerpendicularVincenzo · 18/08/2014 18:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Trinpy · 18/08/2014 18:40

I would just take the car seat with me.

BringMeSunshine2014 · 18/08/2014 18:41

Yes and god, every day you hear it in the news don't you,yet another baby suffocated by a cat. Hmm FFS.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 18/08/2014 18:42

Look at it the other way. What are the benefits of leaving a baby alone in a car? None whatsoever. I am really not understanding why your DH would do this.

BringMeSunshine2014 · 18/08/2014 18:43

It was in the shade with the window down a crack. We were about 10-30meters from the car and could see it at all points. Nice area, open space around the car park so you would be able to see anyone approaching

I wouldn't have any problem with doing that at all.

People really really struggle with risk assessment. The child was far safer at that point than at any other point he was in the car!

BringMeSunshine2014 · 18/08/2014 18:45
  • Leaving the baby undisturbed and comfortable.
  • Both parents playing with the older child.
Sootgremlin · 18/08/2014 18:45

No, there's just no need to do this. You have a baby, you keep it with you/stay with it. It's simple as far as I'm concerned. Any other course leaves far too much margin for error.

Apart from overheating, cars can spontaneously catch fire and go up very quickly. Having the car in full view wouldn't help you see if the baby choked, or became distressed.

Lots of things become more inconvenient you have to consider the needs of a small baby, but that's being a parent.

marne2 · 18/08/2014 18:45

I always used to leave dd's in the car outside my front door, windows would be down on the car and I could see car from the window ( would leave my front door open so I could hear her ), I don't see the problem as long as it's not a hot day and you can see the child from where you are ( same with leaving the pram outside ).

I think people are being a little OTT, and I think it's down to the parent to decide what's safe and what's not, obviously don't leave your child in the car on a hot day or where you can't see them but surely that's common sense?

Chocolatefudgebrownieicecream · 18/08/2014 18:46

Anomaly I was worried about overheating, someone somehow managing to get in and take him (yes I know very unlikely particularly with us just there). The reason DH didn't just bring the car seat is that even with the simple isofix detachment he wakes at the moment as he is struggling with teething. Thank you again for the responses which are now more mixed. I will continue to take him out/ sit with him, but will feel less concerned about DP leaving him close if he takes them alone.

OP posts:
slithytove · 18/08/2014 18:47

Ten metres and visible? Yes I think this is ok.

littleducks · 18/08/2014 18:48

I do it. I have the windows open. I often sit on the front step or bottom Stair with a coffee while baby sleeps after school run.

Only one of then ever transferred from car without waking. The other two are apauling sleepers.

No cat has ever snuck into the car. Hmm

Clearly it is because I don't care about then enough. Not that I have made my own risk evaluation and cope to a different conclusion, probably due to different variables like the area, temperature, style/model of car.
Shrugs.

purplemurple1 · 18/08/2014 18:49

Normally the garden although it isn't enclosed, but also outside the shop in the winter in I'm just popping in for something quick.

Chocolatefudgebrownieicecream · 18/08/2014 18:50

Tondelay... DH just wanted him to stay asleep, that is why he left him in there.

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 18/08/2014 18:52

I would never do it.

Doesn't it go against the advice of always be in the room with your baby when they're sleeping? Or does it not matter if they are asleep in a car as opposed to when they are asleep in their cot?

Why would you leave them if you can easily have them with you?

Frontier · 18/08/2014 18:54

Really, you can never leave the room when a baby's sleeping? Not heard that one before, just as well mine have already survived babyhood.

Sootgremlin · 18/08/2014 18:56

Little ducks, that sounds very different from what the op is suggesting, they were both distracted by playing with the older child 10 - 30 metres away.

Having said that I've still never left a baby in the car because of fire risk above.

It's risk versus consequences, risk of something happening slight, consequences not worth it IMO.

FengMa · 18/08/2014 18:56

I wouldn't.

fairylightsintheloft · 18/08/2014 19:06

can't believe some of the responses on here are for real. Never leave a baby in a room alone, sleeping? Cars exploding, baby snatchers? The "Horror stories" are headlines because of their rarity. How many babies die or are injured in car crashes? A damn sight more. In the circumstances the OP describes I would absolutely leave mine in there if it meant she got to finish her nap and DS got some quality time with me. I still leave DD asleep in the car on our driveway with the front door open and I pop out every couple of minutes. If its hot I leave the windows and /or boot open. Baby snatching is pretty bloody rare. I think too many people now have no idea how sensibly manage risk and so opt for absolute zero approach to the detriment of other things, like sensible, balanced lives.

Rumandcokeplease · 18/08/2014 19:08

Cars often spontaneously catch fire? Do I live on a different planet or something? I have 5 cars parked outside my house, I best go and move them incase they catch fire and burn the house down.

Whoyouse · 18/08/2014 19:09

The very fact you get in a car at all is a massive risk as you're far more likely to be in a car accident. But that doesnt stop you does it? You either live your life terrified of every little thing going wrong or you weigh up the risks and make a decision. It's not healthy to be so risk averse.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 18/08/2014 19:18

No. I wouldnt do it.
Even in the shade the car can overheat, it is very easy to underestimate the temperature.

And no. I'm not struggling with risk assessment. What a patronising comment.
Its a genuine risk.
Also. The car is not secure with the window open and i would feel uncomfortable, personally about that. Although baby theft is much less likely than baby- overheating.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 18/08/2014 19:20

And how much effort is it to have a baby with you in the park?

Sootgremlin · 18/08/2014 19:22

Well I'm not biting my nails anxiously about it, it's easy if I'm leaving the car I just take my baby with me, then I don't have to wonder if I've done the right thing, CRISIS AVERTED, tin foil hats on and relax.

To be honest if a member of the public had to come and ask me if that was my baby in the car 30 metres away I'd feel like a bit of a bozo who shouldn't be in charge.

That's just how I feel about it personally, other people are more sensible,healthy and balanced I'm sure.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 18/08/2014 19:25

Getting in a car is not a massive risk in the UK in 2014. It's extremely safe (and far safer than being a pedestrian).

Neither is leaving your baby in the car - the likelihood of anything bad happening is remote. But it's a pointless risk as there is no benefit to it - beyond making the parents a bit more comfortable / saving a few seconds getting out the sling or buggy. I don't really buy 'the baby might wake up' reason either - the baby might wake if the car stops or if a loud noise disturbs them or if they are hungry.

MrsMook · 18/08/2014 19:29

I've left my baby or toddler asleep depending on the circumstances. My main concern is the weather which is low risk on a cool, dull day of which we get many. Neither slept when pulling the car seat out, and not having isofix, I've always regretted the wasted effort and faff when baby started howling. With two children who synchronise naps for maximum inconvenience, sometimes it's the only way you can get on with simple things. Some days if I waited until both were awake, that could be 5 hours wasted.

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