To not understand how some people afford to have so many children?

[KiKiFrance]

I mean this as a genuine question, but how the heck do they do it?

We have 3 DCs as that was all we could afford, yet I know families that have only one very average income that just seem to keep having children, and affording nice things, activities and holidays too.

Someone I know has just had her fifth baby. They are very early thirties and her DH works in a supermarket, and she is a SAHM, so obviously not on a high income, yet they always have nice clothes, the older children to lots of activities, they have a lovely new build house which is decorated beautifully, always eat out, and they bought all new (expensive) baby equipment for baby #5. She has also said to me that they'll have a sixth baby at some point, and possibly a seventh too!

The other person that I know has 4 children. Her DH is a chef but is always in and out of work, but again they seem to have such nice things, and her children to lots of activities and clubs. One of her sons has just had a huge birthday disco in a hall, and she said it cost over £300. They too are planning to have more children.

Our income is good, yet we generally can't afford half the things that they can, and certainly could never have afforded a 4th child, even though I would have quite liked another baby.

[BudsBeginingSpringinSight]

you could also be spending very little on your children and using them to bolster your income.

dress and feed them cheaply, do very little with them...

[NacMacFeeglie]

I have four kids. I had them all close together and was young. I was married to a man with a good wage and at the time we could afford it though not any flashy lifestyle by any means.

Unfortunately eight years later we split due to a dv incident. At the moment I am currently on full benefits and barely have two pennies to run together. I am in college in the hope that once qualified I might make a decent wage. I have also worked full and part time over the past few years.

In hindsight I was young and irresponsible having so many. I thought I was married for life and exes career was going up and up. Until he tried for his own business and we ended up in a lot of debt. I certainly never considered the costs as they grew up.

Most days I feel bad because I can't afford fancy things and holidays etc for the kids. There isn't a lot I can do about it now though.

I was also from a family of five kids and though my parents were never well off or even wealthy we never went without. I wonder sometimes if when I was younger it was the fact is been a part of a large family that I could manage one myself.

I am thirty soon and horrendously broody. I adore my kids but wish I had approached life from a more sensible stand point and had one or two at most in the right circumstances.

As for other large families as people have said there could be all kinds of reasons. I just make do with what I have and let people about their own business

[redshifter]

Really ? How does "Brother B" manage to claim WTC when you need to work at least 24 hours a week (if a couple) to be eligable for WTC........

His wife does 3 hours cleaning at NMW. Well actually she does more hours but just puts 3 "on the the books".

No goats. Not living an extravagant lifestyle, just a better lifestyle than his brother in exactly the same job.

I'm not judging just stating the facts (and they are facts) of the income, rent and lifestyle of 2 very good friends and colleagues of mine.

Not moaning about brother B, good luck to him. More frustrated for brother A and the lack of decently paid full time jobs and decent affordable housing for single people.

Why can't you compare the facts of two peoples particular circumstances, for discussion here on MN without someone shouting "benefit basher" and calling bingo goats.

[TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams]

Cannabis farming in the loft?

[NacMacFeeglie]

I will add I worked full time until January this year where ill health meant I ended up signed off for a long period and eventually left for college instead. It was a low paid job. Full time I earned just over seven hundred pound. My private rent cost five hundred and eighty five of that and council tax another ninety. I did not receive housing benefit as my wage was too high. On top of that I had childcare with afterschool clubs and my youngest still in nursery. Childcare tax credits paid seventy percent of that but still left me finding around two hundred myself. I was actually worse off working fulltime but was determined to carry on. Unfortunately the stress of the four children the job and the financial worries led to my ill health in January.

This is why I have chosen to go to college in the hope I can start a little higher up where working fulltime won't actually cripple me.

[Babyroobs]

I also had four close together without much thought for the longer term financial implications. We both work and have decent careers but now they are teenagers they are costing a lot more in term of food, clothing, potential University costs etc. I honestly didn't realise how huge the costs would be and do feel stupid for not thinking it through properly.

[SoonToBeSix]

We have six , four three and under though so they don't cost much. We pass clothes , toys etc on , no holidays abroad. Days out we use vouchers , holiday mainly in travodhe sales two rooms at between £10-£15 a night usually stay five nights. Don't smoke, don't drink , maybe go the cinema two or three times a year or £10 theatre tickets.
We live in a HA property in the North West so cheap rent. Dh works full time I am a sahm.

[SoonToBeSix]

We have six , four three and under though so they don't cost much. We pass clothes , toys etc on , no holidays abroad. Days out we use vouchers , holiday mainly in travodhe sales two rooms at between £10-£15 a night usually stay five nights. Don't smoke, don't drink , maybe go the cinema two or three times a year or £10 theatre tickets.
We live in a HA property in the North West so cheap rent. Dh works full time I am a sahm.

[redshifter]

I wouldn't have thought many people in low paid jobs would even be in a position to dictate "I'll just have 24 hours please, no more, no less"

The large supermarket I work at filled 32 vacancies a few months ago, every single one was 25 hours or less. It suits the the company to do this, it saves them money. And they know they get very few applications for full time positions.

They ask employees to work extra hours all the time and put pressure on them to do so but they cannot make them work more than their contracted hours. In reality the only people that do all the hours they can get are the ones that won't lose WTCs etc by going over their threshold. These people would love a full time job and in reality they work 48 hours most weeks but when on annual leave only get their contracted hours (15 - 25) pay.

This is how it works in a lot of big companies these days for low paid workers.

Again., I am just telling the truth about how it is in my workplace at the moment, no agenda, just sharing my experiences. Make of it what you will.

But I am sure someone will shout bingo goats at me.

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

Buds that's rather cynical

[OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat]

A relative of mine with 5DCs gets about £1400 pm in CTC, plus CB, so it's hardly an insignificant sum, in fact more than a lot of people's salary.

The fact is that part time low earners, meeting the hours criteria, with 3+ DCs will be topped up by such an amount that they will have a similar income to full time workers on salaries of £30-40k per year, especially when childcare and travel is taken into account.

Which explains how part time supermarket workers appear to be able to afford similar lifestyles to full time professionals, despite working fewer hours in lower status jobs. Quite simply, they may have a similar amount of money coming in.

And I'm not belittling supermarket workers, it's an important job, and I am aware that some will be graduates or studying. But if you are in a graduate professional job that requires qualifications, student loan repayments, travel, long hours, answering emails out of hours etc, you would expect to see something extra for your efforts, wouldn't you?

[SweetSummerSweetPea]

A relative of mine with 5DCs gets about £1400 pm in CTC, plus CB, so it's hardly an insignificant sum, in fact more than a lot of people's salary

yes thats more than our salary. and thats without CB on top.

[SweetSummerSweetPea]

also agree its often vast difference in priorities, family helping out, cash flowing round....credit cards...

[EverythingCounts]

1400 a month! Wowsers. I wouldn't have thought it was that much. Plus nearly 300 quid in child benefit, by my reckoning, each month.

[BeyoncesCat]

If they're anything like half the street I live on, they're probably claiming benefits as a single mother!

[citycamper]

The big families I know are either extremely well off (with both parents in very well paid jobs) or, the low paid ones aren't nearly as comfortable as the ones in the OP. They are usually in supermarket clothes, struggling to afford/organise activities, parents always a bit snappy due to having to herd their dc, only do cheap days out, no holidays abroad, with tired looking homes. Some of them started with better circumstances but relationship breakdown/redundancies have made life harder. It is a bit of a time bomb as well when the dc become teens. Not the sort of lifestyle I'd want to live. I only have one dc but despite having had some unexpected financial hitches, we've always been able to pay for foreign holidays, have never scrimped on food, clothes or days out, paid for lots of extra activities.

[ilovechristmas1]

3 kids and me

169 ctc
123 esa
45 cb

£337 approx weekly

100% council tax paid

no hb as own my own home but if i didnt would get approx £8-900 a month allowance

so yes it is possible to have a reasonable sum,though depends what your life was like before

[HappySeaTurtles]

Different people prioritize their money differently. They could be spending a lot on their house but then buying budget meals.

[Philoslothy]

We have five, we will soon start trying to conceive number six. Combination of luck and low standards works for us.

[GiveTwoSheets]

My sis has 6 and can afford to because her hubby works hard and has good paying job so much so that they earn over threshold for child benefit even.

Very close loving work ethical family.

[Babyroobs]

£337 a week just for food, clothing and utilities is pretty good to be honest, I'm quite shocked that you don't have to pay any council tax out of that.

[ilovechristmas1]

it's because im on ESA support group,if i was just on the standard one i would pay £5 a week towards ct

[TedAndEd]

Although we only have 2 dc and won't be having any more, we are on low incomes but our dc don't do without as they have generous gps who pay for nursery, toys, clothing, holidays as well as cash gifts. I wouldn't share this information with friends as they might be but I know they may wonder about our lifestyle. You can't really make presumptions about other people's income and finances.