To be passive-aggressive towards rude drivers

[tweetypot]

I love Summer, because it means I can stick my hand out of the window and sing "you're welcome!" to drivers who don't thank me for stopping to let them past.

I feel it is important to reinforce manners into the driving community. My DH is of the opinion that it is a doomed one-person crusade.

AIBU and a miserable DM-style outraged cow?

[tweetypot]

So rude of him, dogdog :(

If a car is so close behind at a steady speed that you can't read their numberplate, does that mean they're tailgating? I get this at some point during my commute EVERY DAY, and used to make the BTFO action in my rear-view mirror every day too. Now I just can't be arsed trying to communicate with them so obviously and just slow down instead.

Unfortunately that means they sometimes do stupid things, like overtake me in order to speed through a zebra crossing I've slowed right down towards, and nearly knock down pedestrians, or the like.

I think what my driving instructor called my 'smooth driving style' really infuriates drivers who don't want to look ahead, save their brake pads and petrol.

[littlemissmaths]

I don't know. I am not sure that being passive aggressive is such a great thing. Surely it winds people up and is fairly arrogant because it implies that you KNOW you are right and the other person is WRONG. How about being genuinely friendly towards and considerate of other road users? Not meaning to sound like a saint but if somebody cuts me up/ hogs the middle lane/ whatever example of poor driving, I try to imagine it might be my mother, or my elderly neighbour, and how upset they would be to be pressurised, or honked at, and how little good it would do.

As a child, I was friends with the DD of a very senior businessman (you would all know him) and went on holiday with his family. I loved how how he genuinely drove with consideration and called all other drivers "my friend" even though they could not hear him eg "You go first, my friend" as driving along. I am sure this positive, constructive approach is part of what had made him great in other spheres. He didn't sit there seething at perceived slights (?sp), muttering passive aggressive thank you's. I would rather emulate him than some other approaches.

[Poledra]

"If a car is so close behind at a steady speed that you can't read their numberplate, does that mean they're tailgating?"

Depends what you're driving - I have a 4x4, I often cannot see other peoples' plates as the rear of my car is high - this does not mean they are tailgating me necessarily. However, if I am driving behind a 'normal' sized car and they cannot see my numberplate then yes, I am being an arse tailgating.

[Ladyboluna]

Little miss - I imagine it might be my mother or an old lady who could die because of their bad driving. I've had several near misses where if I didn't brake I could have been the victim of an accident. Have I got the right to be angry at them? Yes, yes I do.

[WitchWay]

I smile & wave excessively to people who haven't thanked me for letting them go first. DH thinks it ridiculous

If it's my right of way & there are places where folk coming the other way can pull in then I barge ahead & make them give way to me. If they're already too far along then I usually wait for them, especially if they are in a lorry.

[littlemissmaths]

ladyboluna be angry with older drivers if you like but it will be a wasted emotion and not something to boast about on the internet. An alternative might be to lobby for driving tests to come round every 5 years to check people are still up to the mark and are taken off the roads if they are no longer safe.

[BigBoobiedBertha]

ladyboluna is not angry at older drivers, she is angry at the people who drive badly and put them at risk. As she says she imagines that it is her mother who is the victim of the bad drivers in their BMWs and Audis, not that her mother is like those drivers. TBH, the type of driving she describes and reacts to is not the poor driving of the old but people who think they own the road and couldn't give a damn who gets in their way. Entirely different to mistakes made by the elderly.

If I get tailgated, I tend to give my brakes a little dab, just enough to make the brake lights come on and not to slow down (because that would just be suicide if they are that close). It makes them back off if they think I don't know what I am doing.

[Legionofboom]

I admit I do the passive aggressive 'you're welcome' sometimes.

And if someone pushes past me to get onto a train first I do sometimes say 'Oh please, do go first'

But I have to say I always hate myself a little bit afterwards.

[Morethanalittlebitconfused]

If I am I heavy traffic and overtaking on an A road and some twat is tailgating I will slow right down to spot on 70mph and crawl past the row of lorries

PA as fuck but fun

[Ladyboluna]

Thank you big

Although as someone who has seen many older drivers hitting the curb and with glasses thicker than my thighs I think there should be mandatory retesting and more closer communication between doctors and the dvla.

[BigBoobiedBertha]

I know what you mean about older drivers. I have noticed that there are a group of drivers who tend to drive at 40 miles an hour on every road. They drive 40 mph on a 30 limit road and then the same on a 60 or 70mph road. Invariably they are elderly when you finally get past them to safety. I think if you have lost the ability to judge speed like that you probably shouldn't be on the roads so post 70 yrs tests would be good.

[littlemissmaths]

ladyboluna of course you have a right to BE angry at poor drivers. But it is counterproductive to EXPRESS that anger as an attack on the perceived wrongdoer. What would you hope to achieve? ..and you might be wrong yourself. Do something constructive to keep your mum or your elderly neighbour safe: lobby the council for 20mph zones, proper street lighting, safe cycle routes, periodic driving tests, etc etc

[Ladyboluna]

I do consider bad driving to be an attack on my person when it endangers me. Is that unreasonable?