To think we need a Dadsnet?

[mumtoateen]

So dads cannot be single parents? There's a nansnet and mums net but no Dadsnet. Yes there's a single topic for it, but surely dads should be able to have their own site?

[JuniperTisane]

DH joined the actual Dadsnet. He tried a couple of threads, got virtually no replies, had a look at the posting frequency, saw its very very slow and gave up. He went back to his hobby forums and pistonheads

[themightyfandango]

If there was a big enough market for one I think it would exist already.

I suspect there isn't because men don't tend to identify as Dad's in a group sense in the same way women identify as Mum's. For men they are first and foremost just men regardless of parental status.

IME they are more likely to self identify based on hobbies and interests therefore seek those forums then chat about personal stuff on the general section of those forums.

This is probably an interesting topic for the Feminist chat section.

[OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat]

Trouble is that Mumsnet is a very established brand now, but it's probably outgrown it's name.

There's lots of discussion that is not parenting and I'm one of many non parents that use the site.

Most issues like food, work, the weather, holidays, money, days out, politics, etc etc are of interest to everyone, whether they are parents or not.

Perhaps they should change 'By parents for parents' to 'By everyone for everyone' or 'By people for people'?

[firesidechat]

Dadsnet isn't very pretty is it? Very minimal and a bit half hearted.

[Pagwatch]

DH wouldn't have time to visit dads net.

He has the job of stopping strangers talking to my teenagers. It's a full time job.

[firesidechat]

My husband wouldn't go on something called dadsnet. He does go on hi fi sites sometimes and very occasionally the football ones.

He's far too busy to go on a website and moan about the fact that I didn't iron his million and one shirts this week.

[Audeca]

Personally I think mumsnet should transition to a non gender specific title (parentsnet was rejected as a name originally because it didn't sound snappy enough). It's name reinforces the idea that parenting is something that is primarily a female domain. If we want more gender equality then we need to tackle societies preconceptions of what parenting is and who is responsible. Mumsnet, with it's large media presence would be in a good place to do this if it wanted.

There was a really interesting article on this in The Guardian a while back by Ally Fogg. He discusses some of these issues much more eloquently than I'm capable of myself, so apologies for the long quote:

This week Duncan Fisher, a founder of the Fatherhood Institute, launches a new website called mumsanddadsnet. The name is a deliberate echo – possibly a sly dig – at the mother of all parenting websites, Mumsnet. The new site's mission statement points out that the online conversation about parenting is divided between mums, on the one hand, and dads (mostly separated ones), on the other. "We are stuck in a paradigm – that mums do parenting and dads help. This idea might suit a lot of people, but it's plain wrong."

Justine Roberts, the founder of Mumsnet, has pointed out, correctly I'm sure, that its Dads section is already the largest specialist area for fathers in British cyberspace. That in itself, perhaps, is the main problem. Dads are tacking themselves on to the efforts of mums as a sideshow and an afterthought. Roberts went on to say "I agree with the principle; it would be nice if dads wanted to identify as dads. But they don't. They identify as men who talk about parenting."

As a proudly self-identifying dad who spends a lot of time talking to other self-identifying dads, this strikes me not only as utterly wrong, but a profoundly harmful projection. The fact that the chief executive of Mumsnet would come out with such an alienating pronouncement represents game, set and match to Duncan Fisher, I think, in the debate as to whether we need less compartmentalisation and factionalism in debates about parenting.

tl;dr Think a dadsnet would be a bad idea and we'd be better off with non gender specific sites.

[MrsWinnibago]

Men work differently on the internet and are less inclined to seek out a parenting site in general but will seek out a chat place which is geared towards their interests aside from parenting.

Football, various sports, or a site like Reddit for instance. I don't think the market's the same for male parents.

[firesidechat]

I may be wrong, but I don't really see mumsnet as a parenting site. I know that it probably started that way, but it has evolved and all sorts of people feel comfortable posting on here.

Also mn is far too well established as a brand to risk changing it's name now.

There is no way that the men I know, and they aren't blokey types, would have the time or inclination to talk about parenting on a site like this.

[shakethetree]

I'd leave if this was a 50/50 male/female site - I like MN because it's one of the few female dominated sites on the internet, I know there are men on here ( & no doubt a few posing as women ) but I still take it for granted that the person I'm talking to is a woman - that's mumsnets strength for me.

[MrsWinnibago]

Fireside it is primarily a parenting site still; the majority of the campaigns are re parenting and while some people are not parents most are.

[OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat]

YY to men using hobby sites, but I think most of them have very active off-topic chat sections, that are probably similar to a combination of AIBU and Chat, with 'In the News' and a load of other stuff thrown in. I do see parenting issues discussed on them too.

Pistonheads has already been mentioned.

Singletrackworld (mountain biking) is another big one - their current most active thread in the chat section is discussing supermarket trolleys . I'm sure they could be encouraged to play the Chaos divider game on that thread .

There's also digital spy for people that are very interested in films/television/TVs and audio equipment with quite a lot of off topic chat.

DP frequents middle-age-shred, which is a website used by skateboarders that are old enough to know better - it seems to be mostly off topic nonsense and a lot of the users will be Dads so they will talk about parenting issues there as well.

[MrsWinnibago]

IlkleyMoor Lol at the mountain bikers chatting about trolleys!

[firesidechat]

Fireside it is primarily a parenting site still; the majority of the campaigns are re parenting and while some people are not parents most are.

Yes I agree, but it is perfectly possible to be on here and totally ignore the parenting aspect of this site. My children are all grown up and I don't need to come on here for parenting advice. I come on here for the chat and debates and I'm quite happy with that.

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

I'm with Fireside, I come for the chats and the laughs, not the parenting stuff, mine are older too.

[StillFrigginRexManningDay]

Why should it be up to women to set up a place for dads to talk online? Is this an addition to wifework ?
Nothing stopping the menz doing it, go forth and chat.

[StillStayingClassySanDiego]

What prompted your thoughts about a dadsnet OP?

[Mybigfatredwedding]

Yes Singletrackworld has quite a big chat section where they discuss things other than mountain bikes (although its nowhere near the scale of on here).

An active Dadsnet would be quite funny - I can imagine the Style and Beauty section:

OP - I am going to try Footner this weekend, anyone with me?
Everyone else - Um, no.

[thecatfromjapan]

Maybe you can build the chaps a den out of minty aero bars?

[Mybigfatredwedding]

Totally agree that it shouldn't be up to women to sort out a place for Dads to chat online - they are capable of sorting it themselves aren't they?

[TakemedowntoPotatoCity]

Sorry to come across as sexist as this undoubtedly will but it just isn't in most men's psyche to chat and gossip like it is with us womenfolk.

It's nature innit.

Hence the tumbleweeds rolling through the Dadsnet section.

Those who do enjoy a natter I think prefer to hide hang out among us clucking hens.

[Bifauxnen]

The internet is filled with men chatting and gossiping.

[Pagwatch]

The site may remain a parenting site but the talk section isn't really.

And the men - they walk among us!

[Sapat]

YABVVU. So, most men don't want/need a Dadsnet, but us women think that they ought to have one for equality's sake? That is political correctness gone mad...
There is no way DH would want to waste a couple of hours a day whinging about life in general and seeking approval from complete strangers. He can waste his time on online gaming platforms killing trolls and conquering non-existing lands much more effectively. Each to their own.