To ask people not to bring gifts to my children's birthday party?

[Mmmicecream]

My 2 DCs will be turning 3 and 1, and we're having a joint party for them and inviting a number of people. I am thinking of asking people not to bring presents for the following reasons:

1. I don't want the guests to think they have to buy 2 presents
   
2. The DCs already have a lot of toys
   
3. I've been to some kids' parties recently where I've found the gift-opening part of the party almost grotesque in terms of the children getting into a materialistic grabby frenzy
   

We don't want anything else instead, so won't be asking for cash or anything like that. And of course if someone does still bring something they will be thanked and not made to feel bad about it.

IABU? If you got this request, would you think the sender is:

1. Weird?
   
2. Brave?
   
3. Silly?
   
4. Mean?
   
5. All of the above?
   

And if IANBU, what's a nice way to say that on the invite without resorting to a cheesy 'your presence is a present' type line?

[MistressDeeCee]

Let them have presents. They dont have to open them during the party. They can open a few afterwards, then some over the following weeks. I dont see the point of preventing people bringing presents. Its nice to give and receive. Whether you are a child, or an adult.

&Theodorus is right tbh - there have been several threads about this. I actually thought 'what, again?' and also thought someone had resurrected a zombie thread when I read the title. Which of course doesn't mean someone cannot ask the same question esp if they somehow didnt see other threads; it has been done to death tho.

[MaryWestmacott]

I have been to a party where the parents have done this, small house with large generous families meant that the DCs would get a lot of gifts anyway and had nowhere to store everything.

What actually happened, is the mum got lots of bottles of wine and chocolates "to relax with afterwards". Most people hate turning up empty handed to a party!

Agree, it's not the norm round here to open gifts at the party, so do it later, with a pen and paper to write down who got what. You can also put to one side at those ages lots of the gifts to regift at other parties later on.

[EvilStepMam]

I have been thinking the same, Dd starts school in September so this will be her first big party.

The only trouble is her birthday is right on top of christmas and (massively overthinking I know) I don't want people to be put off coming at the thought of having to buy yet another present, but equally, don't want the other parents thinking Dd had one of 'those' mothers and not let their dc's come.

[JoeyMaynardsghost]

As others have already said, presents don't get opened at the party. That's for after the guests have gone home.

[TheRealAmandaClarke]

Be careful about opening the gifts later though. I know someone whose ds got up at the crack of dawn and opened all 50+ presses before his mum could see what he was up to.
Cue: very generic thank you cards.

[Ragwort]

I think it's a great idea and would fully respect anyone who did that - most children have far too much stuff these days and it is ridiculous that people feel that they need to take a present to every occasion. I have done similar with DS's christening, our wedding and my 'significant' birthday parties .