To think that expressing anti-red hair views is still seen as okay

[GnomeDePlume]

but is very, very wrong

DD(14) came home absolutely fuming having witnessed a red-headed girl of around 8 being verbally abused by a boy of around 10 while the mum of the boy told the girl to 'take the joke' even though the girl was very distressed. Fortunately the girl's brother rescued her.

DH is red-headed and believes that anti-red hair sentiment has become more common in recent years. Possibly because abusing somebody about the colour of their skin can get them arrested. Abusing somebody about the colour of their hair is seen as a fair target.

I dont get it. I have witnessed someone absolutely rip into a colleague, abusing him and his children (all red-headed) and this man could not see that what he was doing was wrong.

[BlowTheBloodyDoorsOff]

I'm 'ginger'. Have obviously put up with the (frankly bizarre) British prejudice against it for years. Recently lived in Italy for a couple of years.

In Italy, they adore it.
They see red hair as such an exotic trait. And I'm not just talking horny Italian men, also old ladies hailing you as a 'bella rossa' etc.

'Twas heartbreaking to come back here and have the cries of 'bella rossa' replaced with sneers of 'ginge'.
to all my gingerz

[FurryDogMother]

I'm a natural redhead (or was, now I have to enhance it a bit!), complete with the freckles, pale lashes and brows, and pale skin, and in 55 years of living in the UK (both the north and the south) and Ireland, I have never once experienced any prejudice about my hair. People have commented on it from time to time, but usually in a complimentary way, and in primary school I remember being called carrot top - but I never took that as an insult, just a nickname. For years I've used an online nickname which includes 'ginger' - I don't see it as a bad way to describe me. Now I wonder if I've been blind to the insults? I just don't see having red hair as a bad thing, and am amazed that so many people seem to think that it could be. Weird.

[KeeperOfBees]

Another redhead here. I purposefully looked for a partner who was very dark haired, such was my anxiety about my children having red hair.
Walking into an assembly of 600+ students and one shouting
"Oi! Is your minge ginger?" and being told
"If my kid was born with ginger hair I'd drown it in the bath" was enough to cement my decision.

Shitty Shitty time. I left school before my GCSEs,100% due to bullying.

[ProcessYellowC]

God, my childhood (80s, northern Scotland) was hellish because of my hair colour. Chris Evans coming along and his Ginger minge catchphrase didn't help much. My brother and I used to beg our mum to let us dye our hair black. I don't get comments anymore, I actually think living in a multicultural English city, I find that people are less concerned about rooting out who is "different" and making them aware of those differences.

[misanthropologist]

Another American here who's heard hardly any anti-red-hair comments. I have red hair (born that way, but slightly augmented now that I'm getting lots of grey hairs older) and get nothing but compliments. The only thing I've heard about red hair over here is that there's no man with red hair who's "okay" looking; supposedly they're either hot as the dickens or as ugly as the south end of a northbound pony.

[utterlyconflicted]

My mother, whilst drunk, was saying how disgusting she found redheads. I was agog. She then told me in the most pompous way that it was because she was an aesthete.

I added it the very long list of things I intensely dislike about her.

[RachelWatts]

My DH had red hair - it's now faded to brown as often happens. As I have a red-haired aunt and two red-haired cousins, and in certain lights my dark brown hair has a reddish mahogany colour, the chances of us having red-haired DCs was reasonably high.

I lost count of the number of people who, during my pregnacies, would exclaim in horror "What will you do if it's ginger?!" Not sure how they expected me to respond - I was usually puzzled and asked if you could send them back.

[puddingisgood]

Off the point, but misanthropologist's as ugly as the south end of a northbound pony is the best thing I've read on mn for a while!

[HibiscusIsland]

Furry I'm assuming you might have gone to a school where people were people were more well brought up than average? ie. Not the type who would shout "oi ginger minge! " in assembly?

[tobysmum77]

I don't know if yabu I certainly wouldn't see it as acceptable but the vile, unpleasant toes who need to dish out abuse over something might I suppose.

[GnomeDePlume]

I think the thing which has shocked me the most (and DD's experience yesterday was what caused me to post) is the hatred and abuse aimed at children.

In a way I can understand someone being uncomfortable about a different culture in the sense of it being strange or different. What I cant understand is this being expressed about a hair colour because the person with that hair colour isnt different.

I guess like all prejudices it has no logic which means that you are almost unable to respond to it as you cant challenge the logic.

[mimishimmi]

I love red hair, especially when it often darkens a bit as the kids get older to that deep auburn colour - I've seen some truly gorgeous redheads.

[PlumpPartridge]

I have red hair and was so pleased when DS1 came out ginger!

I'm a bit puzzled by the anti-ginger prejudice reports though; I live in south England and no-one's ever said a word in insult. Not in front of me anyway!

I am ao taking him to Ginger Pride one of these years

[PersephoneInTheGarden]

I'm really shocked by this thread - I have a lot of bright red curly hair, which I love (though the red-head frizz is a nightmare, and I would love to be able to get a bit of a tan!) and I've never had any negative comments, though lots of positive ones. Growing up in the south east, I remember one child at school calling me carrots, but one of the 'cool' older girls told him off because she liked my hair, and that was it. And I've always been weirdly tall and thin too, so i guess I must have been lucky. I really wanted DS to have red hair but maybe it's a good thing he didn't.

[SmashleyHop]

I have a little 2 yr old red haired girl- the most gorgeous golden copper color. Had I known she would be like this I might have been tempted to name her Penny!

So far it's only been nice comments off strangers. Especially when we went home to the US. I did notice a lot of pointing in her direction, her hair is that bright though enhanced by the sun.

Her dad is the only one that says the "ginger" word, always meant in a jokey way. I do think on some level he is worried about how she will be treated in this country and wants her prepared to hear it.

I think if she does have a hard time I'll just tell her that her hair and eye color is the most rare combination in the world and if people want to judge her negatively on her appearance they are not worth her time.

I was a bit shocked by the whole "Kick a Ginger Day" wtf??

[roadtripper]

Yanbu. So many people I know and otherwise like do it and it makes me furious.

[bouncinbean]

I remember hating school - and like some people have said I would have probably been picked on for something else if I wasn't ginger but as it was it was the ginger jibes that stung the most, because I couldn't hide that aspect of me. (I could give deliberately wrong answers to not be a 'swot').
Its a horrible way to grow up - but there is some truth that it can make you stronger. My hair colour is actually beautiful and when I realised that the taunts no longer had the power to hurt. But I probably didn't make that self discovery till about 18 so there were many years of hurt as a ginger child.
My hair is now the one part of my body I am truly proud of and gutted I'm starting to get white hairs! My mum would never let me dye my hair as a child and I always had this thought that once I turned grey I would try out all the other different colours. Now that the time has come I don't want to and suspect that if I do reach for the bottle I'll be looking for red dyes, not blondes or browns.
My DD is starting to show signs of having my hair colouring. I intend to try and learn from my childhood and help her see it as beautiful and a sign of strength from the start, give her some 'emotional armour' because I know that living in the UK she is going to get some nasty comments .

[shockinglybadteacher]

YANBU, but it seems to happen less where I'm from (Scotland, west coast). Partly because it's common to think redheads have terrible tempers and you don't want to get on their bad side!

Worra is right I think that it's other "looks" that go with the red hair that people find weird. I don't have red hair but I have extremely pale skin and white eyelashes and eyebrows (think Alistair Darling in reverse), and if I don't wear mascara people are genuinely a bit disturbed by how I look - I have had people asking me if I am an albino (duh no) and been called "a wee lab rat" and various things less complimentary. There is something about that look people do not like.

On a vaguely related subject I was on the train the other day from Manchester and behind me and my mate there was a small boy and his parents and his tiny sister. The boy asked his dad "Daddy, is it gingers or ninjas I don't like?" The dad replied, in the weary tones of someone who has answered the same question many times "It's ninjas, son. You don't like ninjas."

[wigglybeezer]

My DS's get teased in a friendly way by their friends, in the way teenage boys like to give each other vaguely offensive nicknames etc.

The only times we have experienced random abuse shouted in the street was in a "nice" English village on holiday, was fine in London.

[AnnaLegovah]

I have ginger hair. Growing up I was beaten up on three separate occasions by older children (complete strangers) just because of my hair.

There is no ginger insult in existence that I havnt heard at least once in my life (I'm in my late 20's). It happens less as I get older but theres still the contingent who insults you thinking its clever, and funny. Ive had to grow a very thick hide to shrug it off.

I love my hair now, but hated it most of my youth. I'm sograteful that DD doesnt have my hair colouring as I agree that anti-redhead seems to be one of the only forms of prejudice still accepable in the UK.

[NigellasDealer]

it is not just an English thing btw - when my Polish SIL was pregnant her father said to her it would be OK as long the baby did not have red hair like her partner...
My own DD thinks red hair is beautiful and regularly makes me buy henna for her (natural blonde) - the first time she did it she received a barrage of verbal abuse on her way to the bus stop
Oddly it really does suit her.

[ouryve]

You think Tim Minchin is making anti redhead jokes, Gnome? He's one himself.

[MasqueradeWaltzer]

Dd2 has ginger hair. She's nearly 9 and has never experienced any negative attention for it.

Mind you, this might have something to do with being in a class with 5 other redheads. Safety in numbers.

When we go to Spain, the waiters absolutely fawn over her, though!

[Idontseeanyicegiants]

I admit to getting a bit very defensive about redheads as I married one and my closest friend is one as well, I will happily admit to being a touch disappointed when none of ours turned out ginger! (Although they're all varying shades of blonde with a touch of red in the sun).
DH did get a bit of abuse at school but my friend never did from what I remember, it was used as a description quite a bit.
I did get pity of the 'what if it's ginger' type while pregnant which was odd, what if they were?? This was always from older women for some reason and it was genuine concern for them!
Wtf was I supposed to do? Stuff them back up there?