To not know how to deal with this (name issue)

[mytwoblackandwhitecats]

I have a first name that is similar to another better known name, a little like Hannah/Anna. Mine isn't as common as those examples though.

All my life I've been plagued by being addressed as the wrong name! People see it and assume it is its slightly more common variant.

At any rate - how do you deal with people constantly getting your name wrong? I ignore it if I am unlikely to see the person again - in hospital waiting rooms for example, but it does grate as it isn't my name!

Then when you do correct people they keep getting it wrong. I keep just saying 'correct name' with a smile but it does annoy people; I'm sure some of them think I'm actually called the more common name!

My name LOOKS very similar to the other one written down but are pronounced very differently.

How do you deal with it??

[DocDaneeka]

My friends nan ended up with the wrong name on her headstone :(

[x2boys]

Lol bunbaker I had a friend whose surname was harles when asked to spell it she always said Charles without the C I also knew I guy many years ago whose surname was ankers he always saiad without the W !

[NatashaGurdin]

I have a relatively well known but not particularly popular first name and I use a short form of it informally, so my real first name is only used on official forms etc. It does have several spellings of the short form and most people use the wrong version when writing as they all sound the same.

Whether this annoys me depends on the context but I do get annoyed if I have already corrected someone I will see a lot or if I am emailing/writing to someone and they still do it as PP have said when the right spelling is there in front of them.

I hate people calling me by my proper first name though!

I just think it is ill mannered if someone persistently gets your name wrong when you've told them the correct one (even if it was funny when Trigger always called Rodney Dave!)

[TessOfTheFurbyvilles]

I'm Tess, I never thought people could get it wrong, but I've been "Jess" too many times to mention. I get Jess a lot in Starbucks. I've also been Bess a few times as well.

People have also added an A on the end, so I'm Tessa. I had an English teacher who kept doing that:

Teacher: Right then Tessa, come up here and read your poem
Me: (very politely) It's Tess, just
Teacher: Sorry Tess, I keep doing that don't I?
Me:

A couple of weeks would pass, where she would get the name right, and then we'd be back to Tessa again.

When I was younger, my parents ordered me a personalized beanbag for my birthday, had filled the order form out with "Tess" on it, and yet somehow it arrived with "Tessa" embroidered on it. Company said it was an error, but my dad was convinced they had assumed my mom (who had filled the form out), had missed the A off the name.

[TessOfTheFurbyvilles]

Oops - that should say...

Me: It's Tess, just Tess

[sleepdodger]

I have a name, a 'normal' name, which is ALWAYS spelt wrong. On replies to emails ffs...

[x2boys]

My maiden name was an Irish name df is Irish it has several different spellings ,work managed to get my name right for years until another girl came to work on the same ward with the same surname but spelt slightly different than a girl who started work on the opposite ward also strangely had the Same surname but with a much more unusual spelling from then on my name was spelt differently every time !

[gymboywalton]

my name is a 3 letter word and people STILL say it incorrectly!

[Purplepoodle]

When I moved to Ireland and worked in a doctors surgery, my inability to pronounce Irish names correctly from the written version was the daily amusement for my work friends

[x2boys]

My name wasn't hard that purple you pronounce it pretty much how its spelt no unnecessary letters or silent letters etc in tact there is a chain of pubs with the same name my twenty odd year old cousin is called Niamh before it got really popular I bet people have had fun with that one !

[BalloonSlayer]

"Why do you think it is very rude?"

There is a racist behaviour known as: "calling someone out of their name." This is when people decide that someone's actual name is too difficult for them to pronounce so they decide to call them something else. Goodness Gracious Me did a good sketch to illustrate this, in which an English guy is working in India and his co-workers decide his English name (say it was Jeremy) is "too hard to say" so they are just going to call him Jazinder instead and there is nothing he can do about it.

Obviously this thread is not about racism. Nevertheless, getting someone's name wrong is a common way of subtly putting someone down. You are telling them that they are not important enough to you for you to spend 10 seconds getting their name right.

I can also offer a working class perspective. When I was growing up, there were quite a few Joannes, Louises and Dianes. Joanna, Louisa and Diana were seen as slightly more upper-class versions of those names. So someone who was called Joanne might try and appear a bit "posher" by calling themselves Joanna. Therefore people, when they did meet an actual Joanna, if they did not perceive her to be "posh enough" might try to bring her down a peg or two by calling her Joanne. I suspect that this does not happen so much nowadays.

I know someone who has a quite unusual name. A mutual "friend" - who doesn't like him - always gets it wrong. I KNOW she does it to be rude. She knows bloody well what his name is.

[WashingFanatic]

My sisters name is Kristy.

She's just got used to answering to Kirsty as people don't read it properly.

[Beaverfeaver2]

I'm a francesca and regulary get called Jessica or Vanessa (and once Manchester)

[Sliceofcake]

My fairly common name can be spelled various ways, and I'm just used to having to say 'it's Cate with a C' for example when people don't know me. However, I hate it when people email me addressed to Kate when my email address is blatantly spelt the other way. I just think it's lazy, and I always check spellings as I know how irritating it is to be addressed as Claire not Clare, Stephen not Steven or Anne not Ann etc.
I'm not called Cate btw...

[bragmatic]

I use the diminutive - which is the same for both versions of the name. But yes, I get it.

My children have a similar issue with their surname. Think "Newman" vs "Newnham", that sorta thing. It's partly why I didn't change my name on marriage, I couldn't be arsed correcting my first AND second name.

I always make a point of correcting when people make the mistake with the kids' last names, because it's important - like for doctors appointments or school enrolments etc. So I make sure people are crystal clear.

[Eatriskier]

Oh god - the starbucks thing. My name isn't odd, just the spelling so I assume they will spell my name wrong. As of yet they still haven't got my name right, let alone spelling it my way. I even got a rhyming male name once ffs.

[CrohnicallyExhausted]

ebwy the Arrrrwyn/Aaaahwyn thing is tricky. In my accent, arrr and aaah sound pretty much the same. But I know some accents you hear the rrr sound more. So unless you specifically said, "his name is Arrrrrwyn not Aaaahwyn" I would assume it's just your accent making it sound different to how I would say it. And the only way I could pronounce your child's name the way you would like is by doing an exaggerated piratey arrrr (as it's a sound that doesn't come naturally to me, it may as well be a sound from a foreign language) which would then sound like I was taking the piss!

Like my friend, her daughter's name ends in -y so I say it -eeee but she pronounces it -eh (let's say it's Kerree and Kerreh). My nickname also ends in -y so she calls me -eh. Neither of us are getting each other's names wrong, it's just an accent.

[Nottinghill1]

Change your name.

[mytwoblackandwhitecats]

I have actually contemplated it Notting - perhaps that sounds ridiculous, but persistently being called a name that isn't mine really does get to me. I think I react to it quite strongly because I dislike the name they call me so much. But I genuinely have considered, from time to time, using my middle name! Crazy that I should have to, though!

[GlaikitFizzog]

My name is Lisa. I have answered the phone umpteen times "hello Lisa speaking" for the person on the other end to start with "hello Michelle"

Getting called Liza is mildly annoying, but my dear departed grandma called me Liza all the time, so I kind of got used to it!

[Annietheacrobat]

I'm a Jess. Lost count of the number of times I've had 'Jeff' on my starbucks cup. Do I look like a Jeff?!

[Icimoi]

I also have a name with a slightly more common variant: mostly I just let it go when people call me by the other version.

I agree that people seem almost to have a compulsion to misspell names. My birth surname was again moderately unusual and regularly misspelt - the oddity was that the misspelt version is actually one that doesn't exist: there is only one possible way of spelling the name. When I got married I decided to go with DH's name partly because it's not that unusual and I thought surely people would start spelling my name right. No such luck, people still come up with totally bizarre versions of it for no good reason..

[CombineBananaFister]

I have an American whitetrash name, (abbreviated version) my mum and dad just luurve their country music.
So I used to be quite glad that people would think, 'No way that's her name, it must be posh English/Russian socialite variant of it'
Now am not at Uni and don't give a shit (which I shouldn't have to begin with), I embrace it with all my heart - get out the lawn chairs and let's drink some Coors!!
Having said that when I apply for jobs the posher version served me well, when I'm doing charity work/counselling the other gets a better response/achieves more.

[HecatePropylaea]

I find that people get it better if you say the wrong name as well.

My name is not X it is Y.

I suppose with repeat offenders, you could ask them. Politely.

I have told you several times that my name is X. Why do you keep calling me Y?

You aren't doing anything wrong by wanting people to call you by your actual name. It's not an unreasonable request.

[mytwoblackandwhitecats]

I'm going to try the former Hecate :)

Someone on baby names is thinking of calling her child my "other" name. I want to scream DON'T DO ITTT!