To not want the teacher to hold my dd's ankle so she can't win the swimming races?

[fardyharp]

dd3 is an excellent swimmer. She swims out of school three times a week and is very keen and dedicated. She has just started swimming lessons with the school and is by all accounts very far ahead of others in the class. This is fine and I still think good fun for her to go and learn to get on a coach and get changed with her mates etc etc. But she is getting really fed up because the teacher has started 'playing tricks on her' so that she can't win all the little races that they do at the end, either telling the others to go first (ok fair enough) but now grabbing her ankle as she turns. I think this is dangerous! She's only 8. She obviously hasn't said anything but she hates it :-(

She can't move up to an older group as they only take one year group at a time.

[TitusFlavius]

fardyharp, that teacher sounds awful. Stupid and unprofessional. Your DS should be encouraged, not hindered, and he absolutely should not be putting hands on her.

Good luck in getting this sorted.

[ThingsThatShine]

I think the foot grabbing is absolutely outrageous! It's dangerous and I would be complaining about it as assault.

[iamsoannoyed]

Matorana

I think the OP has sort of answered this previously (although not in reply to you).

The OPs daughter attends these classes with the school, as part of the curriculum, and enjoys the whole aspect of getting on the coach with her her friends and also the swimming with her friends.

Neither the OP nor her DD seem to be overly concerned about her winning the races, nor does she seem to want to race her friends especially- it is part of the lesson, not something the OP or her DD have deliberately engineered in order to allow her to show off.

The OP has said that neither she nor her DD are upset that she is being handicapped to give the others a chance, in principle. The OP is concerned that her DD is having something done which is a) potentially dangerous, B) may have given her a fright and damaged her confidence or C) something her DD does not like. It is not appropriate, whether or not some children might find it funny.

I doubt not wishing to have her foot grabbed when she's doing a turn and is not expecting it means she should give up any ambitions she may have re competitive swimming- she is only 8 years old, after all. I doubt that this disqualifies her from it at any age, TBH.

I don't think it is a particularly nice or constructive thing to do to try and damage the confidence of an 8 year old child.

[arethereanyleftatall]

I do wonder why sport seems to be the one area in school where children almost aren't allowed to excel? All of a sudden you're a show off, whereas the maths whizz or artist are geniuses.
I got a 'b' for my technical style in backstroke in my sports gcse . fine, except from I was current county champion, training 14 times per,week and seventh in the nationals 100m back at the time. It's almost as if sports teachers are threatened by the children who are better than them. Perhaps it's a competitive streak?

[arethereanyleftatall]

Oh, yanbu.

[Andrewofgg]

arethereanyleftatall I was reasonably good at maths but not a whizz - but I was in languages (refugee background, three languages spoken at home) and I recognise the symptoms. Don't ask Andrew too many questions, he'll know the answers, give others a chance, blah, blah, success-hating bloody blah!

[Darmok]

It's outrageous.

[arethereanyleftatall]

I don't like it all Andrew. Everybody is good at something- whatever it is should be applauded, rather than trying to embarrass said person. I wonder if it's an English thing?

[Pixel]

I do love England generally, but this mentality of keeping everyone the same is very frustrating.

Well going by the responses to this thread I would say the competitive spirit is alive and well amongst parents, it would seem to be the schools who are obsessed with making competitions 'fair'.

I remember all the 'sports days' dd had at primary school. Except they weren't, they were a series of activities (throwing bean bags etc) that all the children took turns at having a go at, and nobody won anything. Deathly dull for all concerned and they didn't really learn anything doing that once a year.

[Andrewofgg]

I fear it may not be England but the teaching profession in England and its politics.

[maddening]

If a pupil is good at maths do they take their calculator away?

[ICanSeeTheSun]

My son is excellent at computers. Will me we have stripped the family computer to its case cleaned all the parts inside and reassembled it.

He excels in computers at school, much more advanced than he peers at the age of 8, it wouldn't surprise me if as an adult he goes into computer based work.

Yes this a boast on 1 thing.

I will say he is asd, he has major learning problems and has a 5a statement for SEN.

I would be fuming if he was ever held back in It, because he has watched every body in his class over take him in every other aspect.

Every child has the right to shine.

[maddening]

Ps maybe the teacher could start logging best times etc so children can compete against their own times rather than children at different levels if the teachers can't cope with competitiveness between children.

[loveandsmiles]

I think there is a culture of not praising children that do well. 2 of my DC excel at Maths (have sat and passed exams that children do in 5th year at high school - they are in primary school). However, they are viewed as a problem as they don't fit in the norm and it is extra work for the school.

Likewise, at things such as sports day, there are no winners as in first, second etc - everyone is a winner and gets a medal.

I think that all children are good at something and they should be encouraged and praised, this in turn may inspire others to want to be like them

[YellowTulips]

What on earth is the teacher trying to achieve?

There is a lesson here: if you work hard at something then you get better at it.

Your DD could and should be used as an inspiration for the class. Deliberately holding her back is just not on.

There is NO context where this is acceptable.

Would it be ok to tie together the trainer laces of the best runner in the class? Or make the best writer use a quill and ink? What about let's take away the protractor of the kid that's good at maths?

When did we become so scared of celebrating a kid being really good at something?

It's like that quote from Dash in the move The Incredibles after his Mum says "everyone is special" and he says "when everyone's special, no-one is".

Yes - speak to the school. It's totally ridiculous in principle and worse potentially dangerous. Your DD's leg could get twisted and injured.

[Aspiringhuman]

I agree smiles, things have gone too far the other way when I was at school. There is a way to praise achievement without ridiculing those who are less talent like praising effort as well. This is what teachers should be aiming for rather than holding back and embarrassing those who achieve.

[x2boys]

This would really annoy Me ds1 is really good at swimming and he is seven he is not academic in the slightest but really enjoys swimming why can't a child excel at something I always loved swimming too and when we went with school I was a/lot better than other children it should be encouraged everybody should be able to swim!

[IdkickJilliansAss]

I saw this happen in to a child in a paid for swimming lesson and was

[BertieBotts]

This is horrendous. If they find that the competition aspect is demoralising for less able students then they shouldn't be holding competitions! Or have the competition as a less often thing - I mean FFS it's obvious that the same children are going to come last or first every week

The timer idea is great and there should be time in a lesson to take each child out at a point and time them doing a length or a width and record their personal best for themselves to beat.

They can play a non competitive game at the end.

[revolutionarytoad]

You could argue that handicapping her at the start is good teaching- she needn't be thinking only of the other kids, she's adapting her expectations to her skill level and challenging her. Your daughter could still win the race I'm sure, it's not to make her automatically lose.

But def talk to them about the ankle holding- talk about weird actually.

[QueenofLouisiana]

DS is a similar age and also a competitive swimmer. I would be really pissed off if a teacher grabbed his ankle to stop him swimming. I would be concerned about the risk of injury to any child with this behaviour.

School swimming is not going to challenge him, it's a chance to go with his friends. He complains it is boring, but there is little I think we can do about it. To be honest his squad training challenges and pushes him on.

Finally, I teach swimming as part of the curriculum. I never grab feet! I support shoulders, possibly demonstrate arm movements with pupils arms. But always with permission from the child. The only exception would be when performing a rescue and even them I tell the child what I am doing, even if they can't respond.

[fardyharp]

I've just reread my OP and it does sound a bit as if I am cross that dd3 isn't allowed to win the races. I'm really not worried if she doesn't win and nor is she, it was more the fact that they keep coming up with different ideas to stop her. A cack handed attempt to challenge her I think! She's shy as well which doesn't help as she hates being centre of attention - being a good swimmer is one thing but having the class laugh because teacher has grabbed your ankle and stopped you is mortifying to her. I feel duty bound to say that she's a lovely girl and really genuinely happy when kids do well - she was thrilled last week as her friend made it out of the baby pool and into the shallow end of the big pool

[HSMMaCM]

We had a clubrunner at our school. She raced with the rest of us. We admired her speed and it encouraged us to try harder. She was never penalised.

[thoroughlymodernmillie]

I would definitely be having a word with the school as it was a stupid thing for the teacher to do. However Grabbing her ankles was probably done on the spur of the moment without any thought to the consequences so I would' nt go in all guns blazing.
School lessons should'nt be only about teaching children to swim but also developing children who are advanced swimmers as well. I would imagine that in every school year there are children who swim for a club or have had years of swimming lessons, surely they should be looking at what they can do for these children as well.
My DD is slightly older than yours, she does ten hours a week with her club and half an hour with school. She does'nt swim with the other children in her class , the instructor sets her a different schedule which involves practising turns, doing sprints etc. it would be no point in her doing races with the other children, she would'nt get anything out of it at all. There would be no challenge or victory in winning a race against children who are still on the first length when you have finished two.
I think we seem to view sporting ability differently than academic. You would'nt set the same maths questions to someone who was aiming for a higher grade so why do we view sport differently.

[ApoqA]

I think she should be allowed to win every race if she is the fastest. The other kids will see it for what it is. She is the fastest so she wins. They will be competing for second place.

I like competing with people who are better than me. It helps me improve.