To not want the teacher to hold my dd's ankle so she can't win the swimming races?

[fardyharp]

dd3 is an excellent swimmer. She swims out of school three times a week and is very keen and dedicated. She has just started swimming lessons with the school and is by all accounts very far ahead of others in the class. This is fine and I still think good fun for her to go and learn to get on a coach and get changed with her mates etc etc. But she is getting really fed up because the teacher has started 'playing tricks on her' so that she can't win all the little races that they do at the end, either telling the others to go first (ok fair enough) but now grabbing her ankle as she turns. I think this is dangerous! She's only 8. She obviously hasn't said anything but she hates it :-(

She can't move up to an older group as they only take one year group at a time.

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

Oh my god, what a twat!

Your DD has handled very well abd thank god it didn't affect her for the future. Sure as hell would me.

[fardyharp]

Yes I have mentioned it to the head. She is really lovely and is very fond of dd3 so hopefully it will sink in. Anyway dd3 won a cup last night at swimming and has taken it in this morning so hopefully that won't inflame the ankle grabber too much!

[EvaTheOptimist]

Well done you!

[PeterParkerSays]

If he is generally a teacher in this school, I would raise this with the head teacher, as it's very poor judgement on his part. Would he try and trip someone playing football because their side is 7 goals ahead of the opposite team? If he doesn't get why as a teacher he shouldn't be doing this, I would be worried.

It may be adding to a wider picture of his poor teaching performance for the Head.

[fardyharp]

Thank you everyone for your kind and really helpful messages. I will let you know how dd gets on!

[fardyharp]

He's really young and a bit silly IMO. The school are always joking about how unorganised he is. He teaches year 6 and to be brutally honest I am thinking of moving her before she gets to him - shame as all other teachers and school in general is really lovely.

[DIYtrainee]

When will these instructors and teachers realise that not all children will let on that they are upset????!!!!

Good for you op. I'm glad you were firm with him and that you have a solution.

[CrapBag]

Glad you got it sorted.

But fobbing it off as a 'joke'? Yes, my sides are splitting at the hilarity.

[TitusFlavius]

Well done, fardyharp. It sounds like you sorted it.

[fardyharp]

I went in and spoke to him this morning. I was very nice about it. He got a bit defensive and said it was a joke and that she thought it was funny and he had no idea she was upset . Anyway I suggested (thanks mumsnet!) that he stop doing races or perhaps do a two relay team race. DD is adamant that she doesn't want to do 'special stuff on her own' but that she will do breaststroke when they do front crawl as she's 'rubbish' at breaststroke
I suggested this to him and he seemed relieved. I did end up by getting a bit more serious and said please don't ever grab her ankle again, anyway he said he wouldn't.

[SoulJacker]

I don't think this necessarily illustrates that schools are anti competition. As a child in a similar sort of scenario I found it excruciatingly embarrassing to be able to win so effortlessly and would have welcomed anything that set me a different/harder challenge.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Exactly spam

Another child will be the best at hockey or football or maths etc

Teach them sportsmanship. Not to be a sore looser and not to be a cocky little madam.

It's only a bit of fun anyway it's not some school vs school gala

[SpamTroll]

In my experience being best in the class doesn't make a child popular or unpopular it just makes you best in the class. It's another matter if the kid is boastful or smug about it.

[Martorana]

Oh, don't be silly, andrewofgg- she's best at swimming in this group because she trains three times a week and is a club swimmer, and the rest are your ordinary 8 year old paddlers in a school swimming lesson. Not because she has suddenly discovered a natural gift-(not saying that she hasn't got a natural gift, of course! ) You remind me of the parents who had a go at my Dp, who is the coach of a youth football team because they were winning 14- 0 at half time, so he made everyone, including the goalie play out of their positions for the second half, and subbed off the strongest players. He even had one dad thinking about taking his son out of the team "We had a chance to give them a real thrashing and you stopped it"

There is no benefit or glory or fun in her beating them- and no point at all in her competing with them. The teacher should be able to think up a way of "handicapping" her so that it's more fun for her and less dispiriting for he others.

[Andrewofgg]

If being best at swimming makes her unpopular: well, that is one of life's lessons too, and she will have to cope with it.

She must not be artificially held back - however difficult that may be for the teacher.

[doziedoozie]

If this was a one off then thread is a bit of mountain out of molehill.

Could be she won't make herself popular with others in class if she is so much faster than them and always wins.

Perhaps DD happened to be in the lane where teach was standing and he playfully held her back, he would know that anyone who swims that well wouldn't drown, fracture her ankle in her attempts to escape, be scarred for life.

Send a note saying you don't think he should do that unexpectedly and perhaps DD can be given a later start time. Though I'm sure your DD will want as little fuss as bother and that sounds the simplest (rather than spying on the next class...........)

[carabos]

If the teacher makes part of the session a competition then she is creating a situation where there is going to be a winner. It doesn't matter who that winner is, the rest of the group are going to lose.

That is the nature of sport. If this teacher doesn't want the same person to win every time, she needs to change her lesson plan to remove the competitive element, not handicap the winner.

I would complain.

[arethereanyleftatall]

I am a swimming teacher and in this situation would do relay races, pairing up fastest with slowest for one team etc.

[AKeyFox]

Very dangerous and a bit creepy , she could smash her free foot on the side of the pool.

I'd suggest she turns underwater.
Go underneath about 5m from the turn.

[Sheldonswhiteboard]

My Dd was in the same situation. Her teacher made her swim double the distance. Grabbing an ankle is just stupid.

[MexicanSpringtime]

OP, you do not at all sound like you are concerned that your dd is not being allowed to win, your true concerns are very clear.

[BackforGood]

This :
I would definitely be having a word with the school as it was a stupid thing for the teacher to do. However Grabbing her ankles was probably done on the spur of the moment without any thought to the consequences so I would' nt go in all guns blazing

My dc were in the same boat - club swimmers and would have ended up miles ahead of their classmates in races at the end, but I'm sure the teaching staff would just have either started them later, or insisted they swam a further distance, to keep the challenge there for everyone - hardly rocket science.

[ApoqA]

I think she should be allowed to win every race if she is the fastest. The other kids will see it for what it is. She is the fastest so she wins. They will be competing for second place.

I like competing with people who are better than me. It helps me improve.

[thoroughlymodernmillie]

I would definitely be having a word with the school as it was a stupid thing for the teacher to do. However Grabbing her ankles was probably done on the spur of the moment without any thought to the consequences so I would' nt go in all guns blazing.
School lessons should'nt be only about teaching children to swim but also developing children who are advanced swimmers as well. I would imagine that in every school year there are children who swim for a club or have had years of swimming lessons, surely they should be looking at what they can do for these children as well.
My DD is slightly older than yours, she does ten hours a week with her club and half an hour with school. She does'nt swim with the other children in her class , the instructor sets her a different schedule which involves practising turns, doing sprints etc. it would be no point in her doing races with the other children, she would'nt get anything out of it at all. There would be no challenge or victory in winning a race against children who are still on the first length when you have finished two.
I think we seem to view sporting ability differently than academic. You would'nt set the same maths questions to someone who was aiming for a higher grade so why do we view sport differently.