I'm getting a bit pissed off here and need a metaphorical shake out of it, or indeed told I ANBU.
About a week ago a friend asked me to have her two ds overnight for the coming Friday (last night) so she and her partner could go out. I agreed. Then the next day she upped the ante by asking if I'd be able to go and pick her sons up from their CM for the sleepover (which necessitates a 15 mile round trip for me) because she wouldn't have time to come home from work, bring them over then get out on time (early start). I was a bit taken aback because it's hardly round the corner but agreed as I could see it would be difficult for her otherwise. Her DP was in meetings so couldn't help out.
Then yesterday morning I get yet another request, would I be able to go to her house so her dc could collect his iPad to come to mine? I did that for them, brought them back to mine, chaos and excitement ensued with five dc in total - we eventually got them to bed after 10.30pm and DH and I went to bed soon after, shattered.
They were due to collect the boys at 9.30am. Eventually just after 11am the DP pitches up, we have a brief chat and that's it.
I have heard naff all from my friend. Not last night to ask if everything's okay. Not this morning to say thanks: nothing. If that was me I would've turned up (or sent DH if I was ropey) with a bottle of wine, or flowers/chocs, to show my appreciation for running round after her dc and having them overnight. I haven't even had a bloody text. AIBU to feel pissed off and would you say something?
AIBU?
to think a thank you would be nice?
MargotLovedTom · 10/05/2014 14:38
Thanks Buddy80.
I know Pictish, and I think you're right - take note and let it slide. It would be really petty of me to be all "Humph! You didn't even say thank you,", it sounds silly. I just know I felt hurt when I saw she was off at another mate's in afternoon obviously having a coffee and a nice chinwag - like I'd served my purpose doing the knackering bit and don't get a thanks or kiss me arse or anything.
Anyway! What's done is done. I'll be more aware in future, certainly (and she's definitely having my youngest overnight very soon, that'll be the best karma 
).
In some ways I don't know if I'm being a drama queen. I don't expect champagne and bouquets of flowers and fawning gratitude, but I feel like I'm being blanked as opposed to thanked!
you are not being a drama queen at all how is her being rude and dissmisive of you make you dramatic 
you are good friends and she is taking you and the friendship for granted, it really is HER not you, just don't be so available as some folk just take the piss,
I had a friend like this we still chat get on blah blah but when i was no longer at her beck and call then she sort of dumped me meh her loss
Ugh, rude.
With your latest update, OP, you could be describing a close friend of mine...down to a T.
She is incredibly flaky with time (always late for everything...not 15 minutes, but hours). Never rsvp's to anything, never thanked anyone for her wedding or baby presents, never ever picks up the phone if you call her, never replies to emails or texts in a timely fashion.
I (politely and calmly) called her on her behaviour once, when I was sick of her rudeness and of being taken for granted. She had an absolute fit over it, made a huge drama, and sent me emails saying I'd made her cry at work. 
You can't win with these people. The only thing you can do, if you're not willing to ditch the friendship, is protect yourself by being less accommodating. Start saying 'no'. ('No, sorry, I can't pick up the iPad'). Also, put strict time limits on things like pick-ups, even if you have to white-lie, or just omit the full truth. e.g. tell her you have to leave the house to be somewhere at x time.
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Margot yes, she may well try the "gushy" tactic. Funny how she could be charming when suits, eh? . She has probably done that before only for some poor sap to turn around and apologise to her.
I agree with only1 she is rude and I bet too she has done it with others. I am sure she can turn on the charm and be lovely. But it's just words isn't it? Being "lovely" has cost her nothing. It is just a shame she could not action it by thank you properly.
You could be petty, and in a few months mention a favour a friend has done for you and what you did to thank them.
Please don't feel bad. You did something really lovely 
.
If it makes you feel a tiny bit better I can be too nice and giving. I look back and think "why did I go to that much effort?!" 
Some people are takers, and some people have friendships they very much for granted. Especially, if you are always there and wonderful, etc.
It is not wrong of you to be that way, but maybe is wasted on the wrong person.
I would be tempted to follow-up and see if she is going to thank you. I have a feeling though from her sense of entitlement she may retort with some rubbish such as "Of course I am grateful! I'd do the same for you. I did not realise I had to overboard in thanking you" . Or some other such rubbish.
One thing I have noticed is that I used to think "takers" used to be only that way with me. Especially if they would fawn over someone else who did nothing for them. However, I have heard about these types from other people who were fed up of them too. If your friend is a taker, just remember she may be very adapt at protecting her image of herself by deny, deny, deny.
Just disengage, draw a line under it and move on 
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