worried about DD/DS being molested on plane? plane has more chance of crashing!

[ManfredMann]

www.theotherglassceiling.com/2014/05/sexism-paternalism-flying-high-what-are.html

give the blokes a break !

Exactly what Calamity said. Not all men who are sexually attracted to children act on it.

But turgid, seating them next yo a women really doesn't make very much difference to the actual risk at all. Thinking that children are 'safe' around women just because they are women is quite dangerous thinking really.
The children who went with Myra Hindly did so because she was a woman.

DP and I were made to swap seats on a plane in Australia because there was an unaccompanied kid next to us. Really wound me up because of the principle of it. Also because we'd been taking it in turns on our flights to have the middle and window and it was his turn. And finally because she was highly precocious and didn't shut up the whole flight. Not sure why I had to put up with it instead of DP because of my gender!

Turgid: people are really, utterly shit at assessing risk. Your posts are a good illustration of that. All the 'but we must minimise this (teeny tiny) risk' while ignoring that all the children sitting next to their family members are much, much more at risk of being abused by the person sitting next to them (although, not while in the plane).

The risk of any child being abused sitting in their seat on a crowded plane is very small. They're probably statistically more likely to choke to death on the airline dinner.

It is a big deal to me Turgid, and I am not swapping seats with my DH so that I can be next to the child and I don't see how they can make me.

For those that are interested in stats and would like a more realistic odds of dying in a plan crash I found this interesting site:

www.planecrashinfo.com/cause.htm

It quotes the odds of being killed on a single airline flight as 1 in 4.7 million, here is another set of calculations giving a 1 in 11 million chance. As with many things it depends on access to information and how you make the calculations (small aircraft have a much higher chance of accidents, so if you remove them from your stats your chances change significantly). either way you are more likely to be killed at the airport or on your journey to the airport.

I suspect the same is true for sexual assault, on the airplane is not the ideal setting, although there may well be some opportunistic people out there. Ironically the people at higher risk for this are almost certainly not those considered to be children, but older teens and young adults, meaning that statistics about peodophiles are probably completely irrelevant.

Oh and a nice article on how to survive plane crashes: www.artofmanliness.com/2013/07/30/how-to-survive-a-plane-crash-10-tips-that-could-save-your-life/

In my mind, when faced with the odds of a rare but high impact situation where you can do very little about the likelihood of an event it's better to focus on contingency planning (ie what you will do if things start to go wrong), so as coldlightofday suggests the child/adult who is confident about kicking up a fuss if someone is objectionable is in a much better position (not just on a plane either), likewise being prepared to act fast in the case of an accident may be the difference between surviving or dying in a plane crash.

coldlightofday that is a very very good point. Really, it's so important to talk to our DCs about keeping safe. There should be more public promotion stuff on how to handle that IMO.

In fact, that's such a good point (also nooka) I'm going o hide the thread now so it stays in my mind as the "last word"

Coldlight - Most women when they are sexually assaulted are so shocked they don't scream, even if they were sure they would if it ever happened to them.

Pipbin - did you also include in Your workings that of that number many of those men are only likely to abuse members of their own more immediate family? So I suspect the real number would be far less.

I would not be happy to swap seats to accomodate this tbh. I hate the middle seat with a passion and always avoid it. I like a window seat and often will book seats accordingly so that I have one. I would not willingly want to swap for this reason, especially as I know my dh is not a risk to a child.

I think the risk is so small that it really is negligible tbh.

And if I really was the kind of person to be so overly concerned I wouldn't be the type sending my child on unaccompanied flights either.

This policy is very common on airlines, has been for years. It is not something they shout about but do quietly.

I would be happier for my daughter to be seated next to a woman than a man. Same at the cinema. I tell her to move if a man sits next to her. This is based on my own experiences.

And i should think most normal men would be delighted, who wamts someone else's child next to them if they can avoid it.

You are setting up a strawman. Of course any child is not going to be kept away from all men. And I would rather no child had to learn how to get help if they are experiencing sexual harassment or abuse.

I am saying that it is better to avoid risk. But of course you teach kids how to deal with sexual harassment. But your idea that someone should just scream, shows a lack of understanding of how nearly everyone reacts when they are sexually harassed/abused.

I would be livid if I was in a cinema with my family and someone started rearranging seats to avoid sitting next to my DH . You think that if a man sits next to a child in a cinema its automatically because he wants to sexually abuse them? When we go into the cinema we are looking for a few empty seats together - if my DH happens to see them first and go and sit down in them its not because he is an opportunist sex offender, its because he wants to sit down.

And as for 'who wants anyone else's child next to them if they can avoid it?' Well, in most people's cases they are too busy getting on with their own lives to pay much attention to the person beside them.

And i should think most normal men would be delighted, who wamts someone else's child next to them if they can avoid it.

And how is that fair on the women who get stuck with someone else's child next to them?!

It isn't.

To be honest, if parents are that worried about it, then surely the risk of having their child fly alone at all is a risk too far?!

You cannot eliminate risk. Life is absolutely full of it.

And if you're going to try to manage risk you need to be able to assess it appropriately. As a society and as individuals we are unbelievably awful at this.

Telling your daughter to move in the cinema if a man sits next to her us just plain rude. And gets the risks all wrong. Your daughter is much, much more at risk from the men in her family than from anyone sitting next to them in the cinema. But you'd let her uncle sit next to her in the cinema.

Would you really be livid treacle

No one automatically thinks your DH is a paedophile. But the unpleasant truth remains that a man is statistically more likely to be a paedophile...

So some people may choose to reduce risk by not sitting their children next to a man.

Doesn't make them 'safe' from a plane accident/car crash/being run over by a bus. That's quite separate the risks of these are unchanged.

But you'd let them sit next to their dad (who us statistically much more likely to abuse them), but not a complete stranger who happens to be make.