AIBU to be annoyed that friend invited herself out for lunch with us?

[chesterberry]

Just to set the scene I am visiting my family in the place I grew up and so have been arranging to catch up with friends. My phone has been broken and so I have been using facebook for this.

Last week I arranged to see a very good friend (friend A) who I have not seen for months. I have a DD (8mo) and she has no children, we arranged to meet at a 'naice' tea rooms for lunch. Obviously some of my attention will need to be directed to my daughter but she is usually quite good and I'm expecting her to take her nap. We'll be able to have adult conversation.

Anyway, Friend A posted on my facebook wall something along the lines of, 'See you at Naice Cafe tomorrow at 12.' Another friend, Friend B, saw it and commented, 'Hey, hope it's okay if I come along too. Would be really nice to do something with DD1(3) and DD2(7) today.' Friend A sees Friend B quite regularly and I have also seen Friend B quite regularly, her DD1 is my god daughter, I have a lovely relationship with both girls and her children adore my DD. In normal circumstances I would love to spend the day with them, however having two young but aware children will mean that almost all adult conversation over lunch is a no no. I also foresee that once we have eaten they will start to get bored and so we will probably end up drawing the outing to a close pretty early.

We have the sort of group of friends where it is quite common for meetings and arrangements to be made amongst a couple of people and then an open invite to be given for anybody else to join in, although that wasn't the case here. Saying no to friend wasn't really an option without upsetting her so she is coming and I'm sure we'll have a nice time, but AIBU to feel annoyed that she invited herself knowing Friend A and I haven't seen each other in months and knowing bring DC would change the dynamic of the afternoon?

[BackforGood]

Why Loki ? Sounds sensible to me. We use our landline for lots of calls. That's what it's there for.

[diddl]

OP put that they had pm'd & then friend had put it on her wall.

[Gruntfuttock]

Loki I have only got a landline.

[Burmahere]

My landline is buried under a pile of dust! Never use it to arrange meetups - text or email - you do all the talking when you meet up obviously!

I totally understand wanting time away from children and glad it went well in the end. It completely changes the dynamics of a meet-up if you need to be careful of what you say and then you also can't sit there for 3 hours drinking catching up !

[Littledidsheknow]

Understandable that you're a little miffed, but there's nothing else for it but to make another, more private, arrangement with friend A later on. Friend B must have assumed normal arrangements applied. I dont really get all this everything posted publicly on fb... I must be getting old!

[chesterberry]

At home I have a landline connection for internet but no phone to use it. My parents who I'm staying with do have a land line but if any of my friends have land line numbers I don't know them. I arrange everything over text or facebook, usually without problem!

diddl I don't think Friend A wanted Friend B to come along particularly. We are all friends (although Friends A and B have fallen out in the past and their friendship can be a little turbulent at times as they have very different opinions on some things, but they both choose to see each other regularly and independently of anybody else) and so she was happy enough for her to be there but Friend A didn't realise she was writing on my wall and thought she was sending a private message so don't think she was hoping for Friend B to invite herself.

I suppose Friend B is a little self-centred when it comes to socialising, she is the type of friend who when we were younger and having house parties would turn up at one in her car, stay for an hour or so and then take a car full of people away from the party and back to hers with promises of free alcohol and comfy beds. A cause of massive frustration with some of us as she'd kind of break the party up. She's lovely in many ways and very generous but thinking about it she does have form for engineering other people's plans to suit her. Although on this occasion it worked out fine and when she had to be heading back she said her goodbyes and was happy to leave Friend A and I to have the rest of the afternoon together.

[Bunbaker]

"Laughing at the idea of using a landline to arrange meet-ups these days."

We still use ours a lot, but I am probably a different generation to you, and OH and I have elderly relatives where the old fashioned telephone is their lifeline. Lucky you not to have elderly dependent relatives.

[Burmahere]

I have an 80 year old father who is a dab hand on the old email! We rarely speak on the phone bless him and he can text at a push !

[Bunbaker]

Unfortunately our aged relatives a) Don't have computers b) Don't have mobile phones c) Wouldn't know how to use them if they did.