AIBU to pretend I saw nothing?

[Morgause]

We live on a lane just wide enough for 2 vehicles to pass each other. Also we live on a bend at the top of a hill. We 3 families who live in houses on the inside of the bend never park on either side of the road because houses lower down the hill cannot see if the road is clear to pull out. A few of times we have been asked by the police or support officers to move cars that are causing an obstruction outside our houses (we live near a school) but they haven't been ours. Also few years ago there was an accident lower down and we all received letters asking us not to park on the bend.

If cars are parked there it is also very difficult to get in and out of our drives.

Recently a man living 500 yards down the lane has bought himself a huge 4x4. He doesn't have the competence to park it on his drive without several attempts so has taken to leaving it outside our houses on the opposite side of the road - there are no houses opposite just school grounds. Our neighbour has asked him a few times not to but he pays his road tax and can park where he likes, he says. We have resisted talking to the police about it because that seems petty.

Anyway, last night as I was drawing our bedroom curtains I saw a visitor pulling out of next door's drive and he bashed into the 4X4. I heard the scrape. The driver (a friend of the son of NDN) drove off quickly. This morning I can see that the paintwork is badly scratched.

My inclination is to say nothing, even if asked. AIBU?

[TittyMcFartyFlaps]

Jesus can't believe the busybodies saying tell him.
He's an arse, he got what he deserved, end of.

[ilovesooty]

If he's a sixth former he'll be insured.

[ExcuseTypos]

OP If he asks you if you saw anything say no and add "I suppose if you park on a narrow bend, you are going to get hit occasionally" then add a little for good measure.

If he continues to park there, I'd phone 101, tell them he parks on a narrow bend and ask their advice. I'm positive it's illegal to park in such a position.

[TheNewSchmoo]

I'm inclined to agree with Notadog

The fact he can't afford repairs should stand as a lesson that actions gave responsibilities.

That said I would have to be truthful if asked. I wouldn't volunteer the information though.

[TheNewSchmoo]

Have not gave

[ilovesooty]

I'm not advocating telling the car owner but I would tell the police if and only ifI got a visit.
I'd be inclined to tip off the neighbour to give the lad a chance to report it himself if he hasn't done so.

[Rhine]

Say nothing.

[Tiptops]

YABU.

Regardless of your feelings towards 4x4 owner his vehicle has been damaged and the other driver has illegally sped off. Why should he be put to such expense when it was your other neighbours incompetence that caused the damage? By the way, if you hit a stationery vehicle it is still 100% your liability, even if the other vehicle was parked on double yellows/ illegally.

It is bad karma for 4x4 driver and hopefully this will teach him to park on his own drive, but if you really do believe in karma I hope your vehicle isn't damaged anonymously by the neighbours or anyone else in the future.

It sends out a terrible message to the other driver if he thinks he can commit a crime and get off scot free. It's unbelievable that people will damage someone else's car and think it's acceptable to dodge all responsibility. He may not have the funds for repairs, however that's why we all have insurance.

I don't think this is a difficult call OP. Put yourself in the shoes of 4x4 owner, how would you feel?

[BigBoobiedBertha]

I would assume the OP would have a hard time putting herself in the 4 x 4 driver's shoes since she wouldn't have parked illegally nor stuck up a metaphorical 2 fingers to her neighbours.

If it were me putting myself in his shoes, I would be thinking that I took a chance parking illegally, I would just have to put with it. However, the kind of mentality that parks like that, even when told not to by several different people, including the police, is not likely to think like that. I am sure he will be as mad as hell and won't get the fact that he has any responsibility for this but I can't feel terribly sorry for him myself.

[Wuxiapian]

Yanbu.

I wouldn't say anything and would inwardly smile to myself.

[Amytheflag]

I normally would say tell but wouldn't in this case. Not because he's an arse or deserves it but what someone said further above about having to live with these neighbours for a long time. The drama and being dragged into it would be annoying especially if it damaged relations forever.

[Janethegirl]

I'd say nothing too, he chose to park on a narrow lane on a bend when he could have parked elsewhere. He may learn.....or not!!

[Pipbin]

I too would say nothing.
I know it is wrong to drive away from an accident like that but you don't owe him any favours. I get on well with my neighbours and would tell them, but he is an arse. I certainly wouldn't volunteer the information, I'm not sure if he asked outright.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

In this situation, I think YANBU not to volunteer the information to this inconsiderate arse, Morgause. I think, if he asks you directly if you saw anything, you have to be honest - but you don't have to tell him your suspicions about who was driving - unless you know for sure who was driving, it wouldn't be right to throw suspicion on someone who might be innocent. Say yes, you saw another car hit his, but you didnt see the number plate, and only got a brief glance at the car, so can't tell him much about it.

I might talk to the lad I thought was driving (or his parents, maybe) and say that if it was him, he should own up to causing the damage, because if the arsehole works out it was him (the other car will have visible damage too, and arsehole could see it and put two and two together), he could get nasty and report him to the police for leaving the scene of an accident, but if he owns up and pays for the repairs, the arsehole has less justification for getting nasty.

[BookABooSue]

You don't have to get involved but tbh I think it's rubbish that the person who caused the scratch just drove off. Part of driving is taking responsibility and regardless of what I thought of 4X4s, I wouldn't be gleeful to discover there's yet another a driver on the road who thinks he/she can just drive off after scratching another vehicle.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

I agree - which is another good reason to have a word in the lad's ear.

[Andrewofgg]

Be the fourth wise monkey. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, and piss yourself laughing

[BigBoobiedBertha]

She doesn't know the boy though. She will have to get the other neighbour involved since it was him the boy was visiting. I'm not saying she shouldn't but it will be more difficult to say nothing if other neighbours are brought into it It could all turn very nasty, couldn't it?

[ilovesooty]

The neighbours he was visiting can at least advise him to report it in case he ends up in trouble. The OP needn't get involved any further as it's his call bother and if he reports it himself it would be less likely for the OP to end up with a police visit.

[ilovesooty]

his call then

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

I had missed the update where the OP said the other driver was a friend of the next door neighbour's son. But actually that might make it easier to speak to the neighbours about it - "I'm sorry, but I think your son's friend hit Arsehole-neighbour's car when he drove away the other night, and drove off - do you think so done should suggest he owns up before A-N realises it was him? Even though A-N got what he deserved, for parking there?"

[dancingnancy]

Say nothing, it could all get quite messy with you in the middle. If he wasn't an asshole I might say differently.

[NearTheWindymill]

1. If you can afford a 4x4 you can afford to have your driveway extended.
   
2. If you park in such a place you should be aware of the risk of damage.
   
3. He probably won't park there again so that's a little solution.
   
4. Tell the other neighbour that you saw what happened but don't wish to interfere but leave it with them to speak to the boy and make sure he knows there was a witness so he has the opportunity to do the right thing.
   
5. Beyond that, I would worry too much 4x4 man probably has a protected no claims which allows him to claim every couple of years and won't be silly enough to park there again.
   

Personally, I'd do nothing because I was watching TV at the back and didn't see or hear anything. What day was it again did you say; not certain we were even in.

[Morgause]

Bit of an update. Neighbour (Harry) the other side was just chatting to DH over the fence. Harry caught the arse neighbour in their drive looking at their cars, presumably for signs of damage. When Harry asked him what he was doing he said just looking because he was thinking of buying one similar. Presumably he's been up and down the lane looking at all our cars. DH told Harry he had noticed damage to arse neighbour's car this morning when mowing the lawn.

Harry says it serves him right and he's being a bit sneaky looking at cars and should just ask. Harry's a big bugger, though, so I wouldn't ask him.

I've decided that silence is definitely golden. The lad may come clean himself, or his parents may make him. I'm staying out of it.