to think it's rude if children complain about what they're given?

[PuffyPigeon]

My 7 yr old had a habit of greeting a meal with 'but I wanted 4 potatoes' 'but I wanted the sauce and meat separate' etc. Rather than just 'thank you' which I expect. This has now changed because said meal was removed if met with complaints or sulkiness. However, mil doesn't seem to think it's a problem. Dsd, aged 8, greets every meal with 'yuck I hate that/that looks revolting' etc when at mils and mil says nothing but thinks it's ok because dsd thanks her at the end of the meal, even if she's eaten nothing

Aibu to think it's rude behaviour and continue not to allow it in my house? Mil thinks 'children are entitled to their opinion'

[IwinIwin]

My brothers went through this phase. My mum took to letting us late up our own which pleased my littliest brother since he looks dry food and hates things 'mixing'. He'll plate up his own pasta and eat it dry, can't stand sauces.

This also differentiated him from fussy fucker aka my other brother who was just rude and narky. My mum started saying 'that's a shame, better give you toast then' and giving him two slices of toast while we all enjoyed our meals. After about four days he stopped being so rude and actually said 'can i have some please' when my mum handed him the plate waiting for the 'this looks like gross, i don't want it'. Big win for my mum.

[NobodyLivesHere]

The fact my son would breakdown and howl if his veg touched was one of the first inclinings of his ASD. however I still try and explain to him that 'yuck' is not an acceptable response to food.

[anonacfr]

I agree. We've had a few threads about fussy eating and whatever the reasons and opinions people have, manners are still manners.

[StrawberryTot]

YANBU it is rude, my DC's also know not to complain, as I just remove the food. My niece on the other hand argh!!!!!! Every meal is met with
'ergh, I don't like it',
I ask 'what is it?',
Dn replies 'I don't know'
me 'argh!!!!!!'
Apparently today she doesn't like sausage but she ate 3 the other day

[PuffyPigeon]

The thing is dsd is given choices about what meal she would like and how she'd like it served. All the children prefer beans/peas etc in a separate bowl and that's fineby me. HHowever when they've had choice over it and still greet it with 'i hate that/that's disgusting' I think that's incredibly rude. It's just difficult as she seems to survive on fish fingers at home so anything else is met with repulsion.

[DeWe]

A friend's little boy (about 2yo-3yo) was sitting having dinner with us when he said in a very polite voice "Excuse me DeWe and Mr DeWe, but this is absolutely revolting!"

Was terribly funny, although we tried not to show it, because he'd obviously been mulling over in his mind how to politely say he didn't like it. Unfortunately he missed with his tact.

[BerylStreep]

Puffy, I read your other thread about your DD and her Dad creating issues with food.

Personally, given that context, I would try to make meal-times as free from conflict as possible.

With my DC, I ask them what they want for dinner before I start making it. I also do a narrative as I serve out - 'how many potatoes would you like? Would you like me to cut that up for you? What about butter? Ketchup on the side or all over? etc. It gives them a sense of control, and reduces the opportunity for 'but I wanted my sauce separate!'

They are expected to try everything before claiming that they don't like it, and I will always praise them for trying, even if they don't eat the rest.

I do have a firm rule though about thanking the person who prepared the meal at the end, and asking to be excused from the table.

[specialsubject]

children are entitled to an opinion, as are we all, but it is not fair on them not to teach them when it can be expressed and when it should not be.

kids do of course start off by stating the exact truth: 'you're fat' 'that looks silly' 'I hate that' but that has to be trained out of them (SN permitting of course).

doesn't always happen, given the number of people on here who have been given unasked-for opinions on their weight, their outfit, their hair...