AIBU or is this what I have to get used to?

[CeliaFate]

It's a mother's day moan. My dc are 13 and 11. They've bought me nothing, that's fine. Dh bought me my card and chocolates. Dd has made me a card - lovely.
Ds signed his name on the card - no message, just his name.
Both children ignored requests from dh to make me breakfast, to do some chores like dishwasher and wiping kitchen surfaces.
Dd eventually put porridge in the microwave for me then went back to bed.
Ds is on the xbox.
Dh has told them both off for being lazy.
Happy mother's day to me.

[MomOfTwoGirls2]

I would tell them that you were disappointed and that you hope they will a better effort next year.

[Optimist1]

I know you want them to do something off their own bat, OP, but they obviously need a robust nudge. How about waiting till nearer to Fathers' Day and then having a word with them about what's expected. "Breakfast in bed for Dad. A card from each of you. Gift not necessary. We'll take him out to a nice lunch." or similar. Non-negotiable. When Mothers' Day 2015 is approaching you can remind them of what you planned for FD 2014 and with a bit of luck some of it will come to pass!

[Nanny0gg]

When you go to the supermarket, do you buy them little 'extras' that they really like?
Do you cook their favourite tea even if you don't fancy it?
Do you go out of your way to ferry them about?
Do you have open house for their friends?
Do you wash something that they need now?

Etc etc...

[brainwashed]

My 13 year old DS bought me some jelly babies :-) 17 year old DS nothing...trying not to be disappointed but I am :-(

[KellyElly]

I don't have teenagers, my DD is four. She's usually pretty well behaved but has been naughtier than she has in a long time all day. The best part if Mother's Day was putting her to bed I feel your pain OP.

[fairyfuckwings]

Hope your day got better!

I had a lovely day. Didn't get my bollinger though . Tight twat bought me moet. Still drank it though just to be sure I like it less than bollinger!

Also did a full Sunday lunch for 10. And then sat back and got pissed with mum and sister whilst everyone else (non mothers) cleared up. Happy days!

[Nocomet]

For pretty much the first time ever, bar an absolutely crazy cake they bribed DH into helping with my two DDs have done a superb job.

They are 13&16 and I took them to town with orders not to spend a fortune and to pol their resources if that got better value.

The result a lovely 3D card and a gift bag with some siap and glory body wash (3,4,2 Boots) so they have something each too and a chocolate something off each of them from the posh shop. Oh and designer tags that I have a craft project for.

Absolutely perfect and 1000x less painful than asking DH.

As for chores, DD1 did lunch, DD2 still hasn't put her washing away and I'm not noticing today.

[Marylou62]

And to actually answer your original post...No it wont always be like this. I rang my DM and asked her! She said that she had some very disappointing MD presents (a casserole dish!) but now we are all adults she is often bought to tears by our thoughtfulness.

[Marylou62]

Celia...don't get involved in the negative posters...I think I have been accused of sulking? I never said I sulked...I said I went a bit quiet...If I haven't been accused of sulking then I apologise profusely!! Celia, you have every right to feel a bit miffed...I support you 100%.

[CeliaFate]

Caitlin17 Oh well if YOU think it's ridiculous, that's ok then. Glad to know you'd understand if it was my birthday. Clearly you've never heard of empathy.

[CailinDana]

Yes I think it is too much to ask only because he's young and can't be expected to get it right all the time. Of all people I would expect a parent to forgive things not being perfect when it comes to their DCs. You know he's a good lad and you love him. He tried. Ok it fell short of a certain standard one generally expects of cards but really does it matter? He's your baby! Give him a hug and thank the stars he's there and well and giving you rubbish cards.

If ever my DCs do something not quite right then I see it as my responsibility to teach them to do better. If you feel good card writing is important (and I would agree that it is) then take some time in the next few weeks to teach him it.

[Caitlin17]

I'm a mother too. Still ridiculous.

[CeliaFate]

He's 11 and if at that age he can write a newspaper article, a story, a letter and a poem, then I don't think "Happy mother's day love from..." is too much to ask is it?
Yes Caitlin17 I do care about Mother's day, seeing as I'm you know, a mother.

[Caitlin17]

Are you actually serious? You really care about this? I could understand if it were your birthday but Mothers' Day? What is the big deal?

[CailinDana]

Oh and what's wrong with your ds signing his name to the very thoughtful card your daughter made? He's 13 (or 11, younger still) - does he know about card etiquette and what message he could write? Have you taught him that?

[Dreadedsunnyday]

My 19 yr old DD bought me a bottle of chocolate Baileys.

I can't help but feel I've done a good job somewhere along the line

[slartybartfast]

my older two are working, waitering today, as there is a whole load of families in for mother's day meals.
that is what people resort to - then no one has to cook, bar the people they pay!

agree that it does go downhill a bit as they get older, but, just keep your expectations low,
they luffs you really

[CailinDana]

Silent seething is so pointless. I said to DH last week "I'm going to bed on Saturday night and not getting up till Monday." Kids are too young yet to be involved (although DS did bring a lovely card and chocolates home from nursery, thanks nursery!) but every year everyone will be expected to fend for themselves on MD while I suit myself. That's all I want (though chocolates are a bonus). DH has earned massive extra brownie points for making me coffee and a full english.

They are children. They need to be taught. So teach them. Say "MD is important to me and I expect xyz thanks." Don't teach them that sulking is the way to act when you don't get what you want.

[CeliaFate]

They do, as I've said upthread.

[HollaAtMeBaby]

At that age surely they are doing chores every day anyway as a routine thing?

[NearTheWindymill]

Ah, now I have one in NZ and one on the sofa opposite me. I was the first up and did the dishwasher and massive clear up after a supper last night for two of dd's friends and their mums. DD made me a burnt bacon sandwich and cut it into a heart shape. She has made me two cups of tea a bit grudgingly. She remembered DH had a left a present about two hours ago. (He of course is visiting his mother). She forgot to buy a card and written happy mothers' day on a crumpled serviette and put it next to the clock on the mantelpiece. There is no remorse but I luffs her. Still waiting for DS's card and for him to skype - baits breath.

Oh, and I only got the present from DH because I gave him a House of Fraser money off voucher and attached a post it note with the name of the perfume and mothers' day written on it.

[Marylou62]

Last year MD was not what I would have liked but I let it go. DS1 away in Navy, DD working 3 jobs and DS 15 'forgot', and DH on nights so asleep all day. Got card when DH woke...bout 5pm. I was a little peeved and just went quiet.. Eventually DH said 'whats up with you?' I told them all how disappointed I was...didn't expect all singing and dancing but come on!!'.Thought the same would happen this year. Up early, DD out, DS1 away again, DS2 still asleep. DD comes in at 11am and takes me for breakfast...gives me box of Hotel Chocolats...Ds2 came down with card and box of Ferreros. Bang on door and flowers from DS1....I am one happy mum! I would certainly let your DCs know in a quiet non tantrum way how upset you are...yes teens are very selfish, its how they survive in the world....but they need a kick up the *** sometimes. Hope its better next year.

[CeliaFate]

Ds has just said he's going to make me a sandwich for lunch. He obviously has a conscience and didn't enjoy the guilt trip dh sent him on.
Thanks for the advice and sympathy.

[slartybartfast]

dd made me breakfast.

to my dd and in fact to all my dc,

admittedly it is not so much as a mother's day, as a mother's hour! the rest of the day will pass as usual.

[Viviennemary]

They just sound like typical teenagers to me. In fact they sound a lot better than most doing chores every day and so on.