Wibu to invite the older ds and not the little one?

[pyjamaramadrama]

Ds is having 6th birthday party soon, only 10 kids to keep cost down. Soft play.

My friends ds is only a month apart in age and my ds and her ds have always been friends.

Friend has since has another ds who's almost 2.

I was going to invite her older ds only. but can I really do that? School friends the assumption is no siblings or you pay them in.

But is it different as she's my friend too?

[pyjamaramadrama]

That's what I wondered whether it's different because she's my friend also iyswim?

I've no expectation for her to stay/go whatever. Last year it didn't matter as I'd hired a hall so there was no limit on numbers.

[MyNameIsKenAdams]

I wouldnt bat an eyelid at one sibling being invited and the other one not.

id leave younger with dh / parents, or if not possible, would drop eldest and come back later.

[Grennie]

I really don't understand these. Me and my sibling are only a year apart in age. We spent lots of time playing together and often only one of us got invited to parties of our friends.

[eurycantha]

You send out the invitation to invite a particular child.I look after twin girls and their older brother,the girls are often invited to parties separately an d we would not expect them to be invited to their brother's friends parties.

[CoffeeTea103]

I think as it's your friend it's fine to invite the sibling. He is a little one not likely to participate in games, but will enjoy seeing the other kids.

[AwfulMaureen]

You can't. I had this with an expensive party in a sweet shop...I had to pay for a baby to be carried around choosing sweets! I had to...

[mercibucket]

as this is your friend

cough up the seven quid, invite the little one, ask the mum if he wants to come and sit with you and her while the others do the party food/games and eat there, or would he like to join in with the big kids

stick to the 'no siblings' for the rest. just give a name list to reception and tell them these are the only kids invited. the rest can pay normal entry.

[Karoleann]

Most of my friends have three children - I don't think they or I would either invite or expect to invite the other siblings to a party - that's just really odd.

Your friend can just drop off the older one.

[HappyAgainOneDay]

Sorry to everyone but I just cannot understand why MNetters have softplay parties or other away-from-home activities, knowing that they might have to stump up for siblings as well. What's the point of an invitation if the information given is ignored?

What happened to 2-hour parties at home with egg sandwiches, jelly and pass the parcel, tail on donkey, blind man's buff etc? All the food can be prepared the day before and I certainly don't remember half a dozen parents staying as well.

We often used to have adult parties (I mean parties for grown ups before you start thinking the wrong thing) and had two or three babies asleep upstairs but that was quite a different kettle of fish.

[Inertia]

I'm going against the grain here.

The way it works with my DC's school friends is that siblings are not invited, but a parent often pays siblings in and stays. However, for family friends where whole families often socialise together, we invite the family.

The difference here is your two families probably spend time together as groups, whereas DS only plays with the children he's at school with rather than their family.

[takeiteasybuttakeit]

just invite the 6 year old - call the mum and tell her, you could do it under the auspices of it being in relation to saying you hope the older one will be fine if he doesn't know the school friends. Say that as its a soft play, only he is invited as you think there'll be some fairly robust play, and leave it at that. Not rude, totally normal especially as there are only 6 guests.

[HappyAgainOneDay]

Good idea, takeiteasybuttakeit

[BrianTheMole]

Just invite older one. Nothing wrong with that.

[SJisontheway]

Your friend and her two year old will be used to the older one going to school friends parties on his own. I don't think it's an issue at all.

[wigglesrock]

I've never invited younger siblings, even when I've known the mum. It's the older child's invite. Where would it end? I've 3 kids - dd1 has been to parties of a school friend where the school friends younger sister is friendly with my dd2, but she's not been invited clear as mud no one has batted an eyelid.

If you want you could sent home an extra party bag/ piece of cake.

[FoodieToo]

I am in Dublin and have never heard of this bringing along siblings idea.

It would be considered extremely rude to turn up to a party you were not invited to. In fact it has never happened to me or anyone I know.

Very strange. Why on earth would an uninvited sibling go along? Puts awful pressure on the party holder.

[Blu]

No need at all to invite the little one!

[mewkins]

If they are family friends (eg it would be quite nice if shewas there too) then invite both. If you are only friends because the older ones have become friends then just invite the older one as that will allow her to just drop him off and pick him up at the end. If she brings the two year old she would be obliged to stay.

[bobot]

I wouldn't invite siblings of school friends and I get miffed if they turn up. But if it was a family friend I'd invite all the children. My children tend to have kids of all different ages at their parties?

[EurotrashGirl]

I've never heard of the expectation to invite siblings to birthday parties. Is this a common practice/expectation?

[SirChenjin]

No need to invite all siblings - it's fine to invite the older one only.

[pyjamaramadrama]

She's not a family friend as such, we met at work years ago and became good friends but now don't see each other that much just due to family life and stuff. But the older ds's play really well together and are always asking when they can meet up.

[pyjamaramadrama]

The other reason is (this might be really mean), I've factored in my brothers 6 year old dd but not his 1 year old, might I haven't said this to him yet though. Do I need to rethink that?

Like I say I just wanted to stick to 10, ds choice of who ge invited otherwise there's always someone else and someone else.

[NeedsAsockamnesty]

It's a 6 year olds party why on earth is it even an issue children need to learn that sometimes different things happen and this is normal.

Why would she need childcare parties for age 5+ IME are all drop and leave unless told otherwise

[Lweji]

You are asking about the friend but not the cousin?

I always include all cousins first, then DS's mates. Younger siblings are left out.

But you could always accommodate one more, surely, if she is not local.