To think NHS do gooders need to realise that the patient is not always right

[oggieogggie]

I've had a right few weeks of it. I'm an auxilliary nurse and my morning normally starts by taking breakfasts around the ward. Picture the scene if you will - a trolley full of cereal, bowls and milk and a pot of hot porridge.

I walk into room one = "would you like breakfast this morning?" patient (full mental capacity) says "well before all that I'd like you to fix my TV. I cant get the channel to turn over." I say "well I'll see to that after breakfast, would you like some cereal?" he says "not until my TV is fixed ... can't you just do it, it will only take a minute (so everyone else should wait until YOUR TV is functioning before they get their breakfast and you don't see that as selfish at all?) I don't say this - I remain professional.

Imagine a few more patients who decide that their TV/Slippers/Laptop chargers etc are more important and then the unfortunate patients who receive cold porridge as a result -

Next I take a tray of hot toast around = One patient demands "I want it buttering and cutting into thin strips." I explain that she will either have to press the buzzer for someone else to come and do it or wait until I have finished delivering toast before it gets cold. "But I want it NOW!" she demands. Ok, so it's fine that everyone else will receive cold toast? that's ok with you is it?

Imagine more of the same throughout the day

"I can't get my phone working!" = well I'm taking care of a rather ill patient at the moment, it will have to wait." "that's it!! I'm making a complaint!!"

"I want you to wash me." = "I will help you but you have to wash what you can yourself." = "why?? its what you get paid for!!!" no actually - I get paid to help people back to independence and to care for those who genuinely can't do it themselves ... " - "Ive had no sleep!! I want you to wash me! I can barely move I'm in so much pain!!" (well walking down the stairs for a fag 10 minutes ago must have been agony then eh?)

I'm sorry, but could it not be said that sometimes, just sometimes certain patients are not always right and that as staff members we should not live in fear of one of these people complaining that we're not jumping through hoops to keep them happy? And no I've never had a complaint against me - I do that nursey thing of taking the abuse and maintaining a smile. Just lately I can't quite shake the notion that the NHS (and Britain in general) is so bothered about political correctness and ultimate customer satisfaction that it's actually counter productive. Why are we all so polite??!

[frumpet]

The people who get me are the ones who are rolling around in 'agony' demanding pain relief , so you go to get them some morphine and whilst you are doing it, they wander past to walk 1/4 of a mile to the front of the hospital to have a fag .

I always try to see things from a patients perspective , i know i annoy a lot of my collegues with my endless ' yes but if you were them imagine how it would feel ' . There are people though who are not very nice , they tend to be the sort of people who are equally obnoxious to waiting staff in resturants , i tend to judge people by how they treat waiting staff , i think it says a lot about their character .

[frumpet]

Gah ! at my dreadful spelling !

[expatinscotland]

When DD1 was in paed once unit, there was a kitchen for patient food they wanted that we brought in, and someone (another parent) ,ore than once, stole food brought in for the children.

Some service users are arses.

[kilmuir]

Blimey, would have taken seconds to cut up toast. Surely that comes under an auxillarys remit

[expatinscotland]

When you have 30 patients, those seconds add up to the person at the end of the line miffed their breakfast is now late.

Buttering and cutting it to requirement when everyone has a special order adds up.

And no, it's not anyone's job if you are capable of doing it yourself.

It's socialised healthcare, not a hotel.

[meddie]

I have endless sympathy for my patients and their relatives. but when you have spent 30 mins cleaning a side room to turn it into a makeshift bed for parents who arrived during the night. When you are understaffed and actually you dont have a requirement to provide somewhere to sleep or can afford the time.You just thought it was the considerate thing to do.
Then the same parents come screaming onto the ward disturbing some very sick children, demanding to see the chief exec because " there are no tea or coffee making facilities in their room" then its hard not to come to the conclusion that actually some people are just arses.

[ElleMcFearsome]

And this is why I always thanked the auxiliary nurses who were managing my (recently deceased) FIL who had dementia and paranoia. Because they were the ones he was swearing at and being unpleasant to. They looked tired, stressed and rushed off their feet, yet somehow (heaven only knows how) they did have patience with him.

[ConferencePear]

"Surely that comes under an auxillarys remit"

I think this goes to the heart of the problem. I have no idea of who is who in hospital. Thankfully, I've only ever been a visitor and I can't really tell the difference between the different responsibilites or level of qualification of the staff. Perhaps we could devise an easy way of telling the difference or knowing who is responsible for what.

[HotDogHotDogHotDiggityDog]

May take seconds to cut up a piece of toast, the same amount of time it would take the patient to cut up the toast. Staff usually know the patients that need assistance, and they know the patients that don't.

The OP is referring to patients that who are quite capable of doing things themselves.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

I agree with zzzz. Hospital is a terrifying place and you have to grab who you can to help. Last time I was in the man who brought round the teas went to demand I got some pain relief as no one was helping me. I put a complaint in and the matron said she was leaving and taking early retirement as things were so awful.

Yes there are fantastic nurses but my God there are some shocking ones who shouldn't be anywhere near the general public.

[ICanSeeTheSun]

This is the colours in the hospital I work in.

[Grennie]

I have also been spoken to sharply for asking someone to do something, when it was not their job. I don't actually know if you are a nurse, ausiliary, etc and I don't know what you will see as your job, and what you will refuse to do because it is someone else's job.

[horsetowater]

I think one of the things is that patients don't actually know what the limits are. An innocent request to cut up some toast shouldn't be seen as insulting or inconsiderate. We still assume that nurses are 'on call' as it were, there to help if we ask for help. If we ask for help with the telly or the toast what is wrong with that?

If auxhilliary nurses are there to simply shift plates of food from the kitchen to the bedside then that should be made clear. If their job entails more actual care then they should be given the time to do that. Perhaps they should have the job titled changed from nurse to service operative or some such then no-one would be under any illusion and won't bother asking them for help.

[madhairday]

I see both sides really. It does seem a no win for all around.

I spend a lot of time as an inpatient in NHS hospitals. I have seen entitled arses in the next bed demanding the most petty things, but also seen and experienced things for myself that still make me weep now. And it's usually no ones fault. It's the fact that it is short staffed.

I've been left overnight on a trolley with double pneumonia, severely dehydrated with no drip and no water jug despite asking any adult coming in the room, all who said they will ask someone.

I've been left to wet myself when asking for a bedpan and none materialising, then left in damp bedding for hours.

I was that patient who asked the auxiliary first thing in the morning if she could help me wash a little, because I had not been washed at all for 3 days and could not even lift my top to get changed.

It's desperate sometimes. You feel so desperate and you feel so very helpless when you cannot do these things for yourself. You ask someone and while you are asking them you are saying to yourself that they are busy, they won't want to know, and then they look at you like they are fed up of you asking because they have other more important things to do. Including the time I was due for IV morphine and left a further 4 hrs with no pain relief, screaming in pain, lungs full of fluid, and asking everyone in sight could I please have morphine, and some of them seeming to care and saying they would ask, others ignoring, others looking fed up of me.

It's demeaning you know. You feel such a burden, you feel as if every request you make is just piling on someone's workload. I am too polite for my own good and don't ask for half the things I really need eg clean bedding. I only ask if I am desperate because I know I am putting people out. I have actually learned that you only get if you are pushy. Perhaps the people you describe have learned this and act like arses to get what they need. I couldn't do this, because despite being so very ill I do actually care about the staff, and think they do a great job, and do tell them that when they do. But when someone comes in, pushes an IV through in 20 secs that should be pushed over 5 mins, and makes me lightheaded, dizzy and sick, then proceeds to get cross if I dare ask for a little water, it's so hard to stay nice, you know?

I sympathise. But the 'do gooders' are simply trying to do something about the great injustices people really do suffer every day.

As for watching TV - in my last admission I couldn't even manage that for a few days but after that it was the only thing I could manage. Sometimes its the only thing that keeps people sane and gives them any kind of positivity. If Patientline didn't break down every 5 minutes it would doubtlessly be easier all round.

BUt I feel sorry for you.

No one can win really :(

[almondcake]

I've never even heard of an auxiliary nurse before, much less what it is that they are or are not expected to do. Most of the stuff described sounds like the role of what used to be called a health care assistant. I don't really get why the NHS is paying professional nurses to routinely hand out toast and porridge.

[WandaDoff]

Well I think you are doing a fantastic job in very difficult circumstances & am very grateful to you & others like you.


Thankyou very much.

Put your feet up & have some
(that's a dunky , not a judgy one.)

[HotDogHotDogHotDiggityDog]

Auxillary is the old name for healthcare assistant or support worker.

They usually wear bottle green uniforms (wales), but can sometimes be mixed up with OT's who wear bottle green trousers and a white tunic.

[Lottiedoubtie]

It's impossible to know who's job it is to do what/what the overall caseload of the person you are asking is. Eg, if you ask for your tv to be fixed and you are the last person on the toast round anyway that may be totally reasonable etc...

It should be ok to ask, but equally ok for the staff member to say 'sorry, you'll have to wait half an hour, or I'll get the 'whoever' to do that for you soon.

Is that what you mean OP?

[horsetowater]

madhairday that's the saddest post I've read for a very long time. I hope things get better for you.

[shouldnthavesaid]

Oh dear God. I've been applying to do this job all day, writing out lots of applications and phoning wards.

Suddenly, I'm rather reluctant! Please tell me there's a good side?!

[shouldnthavesaid]

I did have a horrible woman working on a ward when I'd had surgery. I had 35 stitches down below including some in the most sensitive area (not going to spell it out) and was pretty much unable to put my legs together at all. She insisted I sat up on a plastic seat for breakfast. No painkillers, nothing. Had to sit and eat otherwise I'd be kept in and would "take up valuable space".

I wound her up as I sat on the bloody chair, in my pyjamas, with a leg over each arm rest..

[tulipsaredelicious]

Of course some people are arses. That's the same everywhere. But part of your job, OP, is to understand that the people in your care are stressed and therefore may be acting out of character. As other posters have said, the system is shit, but it's not your patients' fault.

TBH I think it's shocking that our NHS and education systems are so poorly valued by the govt. I'd love to see a huge show of faith and solidarity in the form of massive investment in both areas.

[PunkrockerGirl]

No, Bridgewater, at no time during our 3 years of training were we taught how to fix tellies. I will willingly contact patientline to report a fault on a patient's behalf when and if I have time. It cannot take priority over patient care.

[NurseyWursey]

YANBU - we're expected to do everything and anything, all at the same time. Some patients will NOT accept that someone else's medication is more important than their cup of tea at that minute. Some patients will not accept that having their tv blearing at 11pm is disturbing over people and you daren't say anything because its 'I WILL REPORT YOU'. Or you take someone to the toilet and they ask you to leave them in peace, aprox 3 minutes after they have another nurse with them who is complaining you've let them for HALF AN HOUR ON THEIR OWN.

I handed my notice in today.


HotDogHotDogHotDiggityDog has it spot on

[RevoltingPeasant]

Wow, this is making me super grateful for the excellent nurses in my local hospital!!

However despite their excellence I think there are communication issues and people don't always seem to get told things. Last time I was in, a nurse accidentally wrote the name of the wrong consultant above my bed. As I was in as a emergency due to messed up surgery I wanted to ensure I was with the right person but it took ages to change this. Then a HCA assistant very kindly insisted I should have breakfast. It was a good thing I felt too sick to, because an hour or so later another nurse came and said she hoped I'd been fasting like I was supposed to, because the theatre was ready now.

You do just sort of end up telling everyone everything because you never know who knows or who does what.