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AIBU?

To think that other drivers who don't acknowledge you when you let them pass or out of junctions are just rude, ignorant twats?

128 replies

NeonMuffin · 17/02/2014 10:58

I was always taught by my driving instructor that when out driving if someone lets you pass or let's you out of a junction when they don't have to then its common courtesy to wave, smile, nod your head or if dark flash your lights to thank them.

I've always done this and to be fair most drivers do acknowledge you when you let them pass. So it really pisses me off when they don't. Just now I was driving into my street, it's a tight corner with cars parked either side and as I turned in another car was driving towards me driven by an older looking lady. Obviously due to cars being parked there was no where for her to pull into and it was quite obvious that she had no intention of reversing to allow me to drive onto the street despite it being my right of way. So to avoid a stalemate I reversed back onto the main road, something which is obviously quite dangerous and possibly illegal. She then drove on and completely blanked me, no smile, so wave no nod, nothing.

I didn't have to reverse to allow her to come through, it was my right of way after all. I could have been really awkward and refused to budge making her reverse back down the street but I didn't. An acknowledgment would have been nice, to me it's the driving equivalent of not saying please or thank you in a shop or when someone holds a door open for you.

Why are some people such rude, ignorant cunts? It really, really pisses me off for some reason?

OP posts:
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pianodoodle · 17/02/2014 11:40

What is annoying though, is someone just pulling out in front of you then giving a thank you wave...

Er.. I wasn't letting you out you just steamed on in Grin

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Islandangel · 17/02/2014 11:42

Try driving on the Isle of Wight! You can be driving along doing the legal limit posted on that road, and the car in front of you will just stop to let someone out of a sideroad.

Now you might not think this is a big deal, but....... I dont keep my gaze on the bumper in front, i check the whole road in front. i do see the car in the side road but becuase the highway code says we have right of way, i expect to continue on without that car affecting anything.

the car in the side road, sits there for a while before they cotton on, becuase they arent raring to go they are waiting for our cars to move along the road so they can join on behind us iyswim?

so the whole street grinds to a halt because someone wanted to be polite and let them out of the sideroad




we also have ridiculous standoffs at roundabouts... you go first, no you have right of way, no dont worry you can go....

Its dangerous and annoying...but kind of sweet too

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WeGotAnnie · 17/02/2014 11:44

Yes during the day. A raising of the hand or quick flash of the lights is appreciated. At night, not so much. I find the flash of the lights confusing and dazzling.

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lollilou · 17/02/2014 11:46

Oh yes Islandangel and don't forget the non indicating that is an epidemic on the Island.

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RandomMess · 17/02/2014 11:46

LOL - I learnt to drive in the North East, now live in outer London/Surrey traffic hell. OMG when I go up north again it is so so so so different, calmer, people letting you out unnecessarily ~EVERYTHING!

Driving around here involves being nippy and sometimes down right pushy otherwise you'd never get anywhere. Fortunately 95% of drivers are easy going and helpful otherwise you'd never get anywhere seriously.

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RandomMess · 17/02/2014 11:47

Yes driving around the IoW was an experience last year...

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Beeyump · 17/02/2014 11:49

I do get pretty irritated by this myself, but...to be frank I then also turn into a twat, because I mouth exaggerated 'thank yous' or glare, which is just so silly when I think more calmly about it.

So, someone did not acknowledge me being a courteous driver? DAMN THEM

Yeah. It's a symptom of my own problems when I start getting really annoyed by behaviour described in op. A little bit annoyed is ok.

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brooncoo · 17/02/2014 11:52

Sometimes think 'you're welcome'. But some folk might be distracted, nervous drivers, come from somewhere they don't acknowledge these things. Better to give folk the benefit of the doubt.

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pianodoodle · 17/02/2014 11:52

I drove down to Dublin for the day a short while after passing my test years ago.

I actually cried when we finally managed to get out and onto the road home.

It was just like a free-for-all Grin

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Damnautocorrect · 17/02/2014 12:06

I'm with you op, and I drive in London. Doesn't take a second to just say thanks. Some situations you get an attitude of 'my journey is more important than you, so I must push through'

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alemci · 17/02/2014 12:15

yes driving in greater London you do have to be assertive particularly in the rush hour. I would still sit at the top of my road if I didn't edge out to turn right when there is a gap on the left and drivers know that and I am always very grateful.

OOH you do get really aggressive drivers who will not let anything go when you are driving along and pull people up on the slightest thing. Sometimes unnecessarily hooting is most off putting when it isn't aimed at you but still makes you nervous.

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LRDtheFeministDragon · 17/02/2014 12:32

Grin bee, you and I share this characteristic.

I have also turned into my grandmother, and have developed a habit of muttering pointedly 'you're welcome!' when I hold a door open for someone/move aside and they don't bother acknowledging it. Blush Grin

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FreudiansSlipper · 17/02/2014 12:40

really you were taught to flash your lights to thank someone Hmm hope you did not do that in your test

oh my i hate to think how ranty you get when someone really does commit a dangerous driving offence. i fear you may spontanously combust

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SelectAUserName · 17/02/2014 12:41

I was taught the exact opposite by my instructor - that you shouldn't take your hands off the wheel to acknowledge another driver and definitely never flash your lights.

As it happens I do wave if I'm let out, but that is contrary to what I was taught to do, so if someone doesn't acknowledge I assume they were taught the same way as I was and don't take it personally.

It's your blood pressure that's getting raised, not theirs.

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alemci · 17/02/2014 12:53

I think Guess you are probably right in an ideal world and test situation but OOH everyone is so stressed driving where I live because of the sheer volume of traffic that being polite and pleasant usually makes us feel better and more yielding.

I agree safety is paramount when driving.

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KatoPotato · 17/02/2014 12:54

Solution. Drive with a permanent rictus grin.

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SirChenjin · 17/02/2014 13:00

Yanbu

Someone holds a door open for you? You say "thanks"

Someone lets you out into a busy stream of traffic that would otherwise have you sitting there for ages? You (lift your hand to) say thanks.

It's really not that hard - and if you really can't concentrate on driving and say thanks then you need some more driving lessons.

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LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 17/02/2014 13:07

Didn't realise that the light-flashing at night was a problem for some people. I've always done that, a little 'thank you' flash, not a 'here I am boys come and get me' flash... Blush

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sunshineandshowers · 17/02/2014 13:10

Yabu. Always give people benefit of the doubt. They might be really busy at work or had some bad news.

And for the real grumps just have sympathy with them. You are probably much more peaceful than them.

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MrsOakenshield · 17/02/2014 13:14

does anyone know when sticking your hazard lights on for a couple of flashes became the normal way of saying thanks to a car behind you? I always put my hand up sort of where the rear-view mirror is so they can see me indicating thanks, but these days, in my bit of London at any rate, it's flashing hazard lights a-go-go, even from buses.

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LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 17/02/2014 13:16

I do that, MrsOakensheild, I have done for some time for saying 'thanks' but I know it's not part of any driver instruction convention. I still need to find a method for thanking people in front of me, at night!

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bearleftmonkeyright · 17/02/2014 13:32

It depends on the situation. In West Scotland you get a cheery wave every time you pull into a passing place which I like Grin

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KatoPotato · 17/02/2014 13:56

Not in Bearsden bearleft!

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Tulip26 · 17/02/2014 14:04

Instead of flashing at night and dazzling people, you could turn your lights off and on quickly. Has same thank-you effect but doesn't blind anyone. Agree with if you can't do a quick wave, you should take more lessons. If your hands are stuck firmly to the wheel, how do you change gear?

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2tiredtocare · 17/02/2014 14:04

I drive in the dark where I live and there are a lot of roads that can only fit one car at a time due to all the parked cars so naturally there is a lot of thank you flashing going on, cant say I ever been dazzled by it I also dont get how it's confusing, you let someone out and whilst coming out they flash you what else would they be saying?? I reverse out of my drive and always stop if someone is coming, it's their right of way! In the situation you described I'd expect an acknowledgement OP, just dont do it again especially since it is so dangerous

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