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AIBU?

To have gone to the loo?

92 replies

FCEK · 17/12/2013 11:41

At the weekend, dd and I went to the cinema to see frozen. She's 5.

Half way through I went to the loo. I thought about leaving it til the movie finished as was unsure about leaving dd in the hall, but I was desperate!!

Dd was fine, enjoying the movie and I made sure she knew to stay put. I was only 5 mins (toilet right next door to the room).

Mil and sil seem to think it was very risky (dd told them mummy missed some of the movie)

I'm annoyed. WIBU?

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MoominsYonisAreScary · 18/12/2013 01:19

I wouldn't, they probably would have stayed put at that age but you never know

justanuthermanicmumsday · 18/12/2013 01:40

I've not had a life since having my kids so they haven't been to the cinema apart from with school as a treat ;) . Desperate pick up the kid and dash for the loo and run back again. Better to be safe than sorry.

You can tell her to stay out and by the sounds of it you know she would, but how'd you know an adult psycho would stay put. All it would take is for him or her to take the child and walk out. Sadly the way people are most would turn a blind eye. If you were a friend I'd say don't do it just to be extra cautious

rabbitlady · 18/12/2013 03:37

exactly.
a sexual assault could be carried out in a few seconds but the effects could last a lifetime.
a child could be told 'mummy sent me to get you' and go off happily with a stranger.
a crying child being carried out of a cinema could be thought by others to be someone being taken away so they didn't disturb people watching the film.

by all means leave your very small children alone in cinemas, until something bad happens (or they maturity unscathed), then post about it. in the meantime, the rest of us will continue to be more careful.

curlew · 18/12/2013 07:00

Has there ever been a case of a child being assaulted in a cinema during the showing of a family film while her mother popped to the loo?

Sparklingbrook · 18/12/2013 07:04

YANBU.

Like curlew I would like to see the statistics and studies of 5 year olds left in a cinema for 5 minutes re assaults/kidnapping etc.

Sirzy · 18/12/2013 07:11

I can't picture myself being able to leave DS when he is 5 - simply because of the type of personality he is he will either walk off to try to find the toilets himself, or end up at the front of the cinema trying to entertain everyone else.

The abduction/sexual abuse argument is taking things too far though. You would wonder why the media isn't full of stories of these poor children being snatched while their mum has a wee!

Sparklingbrook · 18/12/2013 07:17

It does depend on the child I agree Sirzy. DS1 wouldn't have wanted to be left. DS2 wouldn't have cared less.

MrsUptight · 18/12/2013 07:18

Curlew the famous author Malorie Blackman was.

Sirzy · 18/12/2013 07:26

Wasn't she a teenager at the time though? So are you now saying that even as a teen they should be constantly supervised?

Jinty64 · 18/12/2013 07:27

The thing is when can you leave them to pop to the toilet, let them go in the mens toilet, change at the swimming pool alone, stay in the toy aisle or computer aisle at Tesco.

I would get some odd looks taking ds's 1&2 (18 & 16) everywhere with me and have already been told that ds3 (7) shouldn't be in the ladies changing room at the swimming pool. It has to be a balance of protecting them and giving them responsibility for themselves.

Every child is different and every situation is different. You have to risk assess as you go and only you can know your child, the situation you are in and make the right choice for you both.

FuckyNell · 18/12/2013 07:27

I wouldn't, but it's not for fear of abduction. It's simply because IMO a child of 5 should be supervised at all times whilst in public.

Sparklingbrook · 18/12/2013 07:32

What is the 5 year old (who is presumably glued to the film) going to do though? It is a case of not trusting the child?

Aeroaddict · 18/12/2013 07:50

I wouldn't have done it as DS has a history of begging to be left on his own in similar circumstances, only to start sobbing for me a minute later, so I don't leave him now as he makes me look bad. I am not convinced most cinemas are full of paedophiles waiting to strike though, and if you have a child who is happy to be left then I don't see a problem.

curlew · 18/12/2013 10:17

MrsUptight.

Malorie Blackman was 13. I presume you're not saying that you should take a 13 year old to the loo with you?

MrsUptight · 18/12/2013 10:25

No, I'm saying that it happens....regardless of age. WHY take the risk just so that your tiny child does not miss 5 minutes of a film? Why would you? Even if the risk is one in a million...it's a risk which does not need to be taken.

We weigh up risks every day....is it safe to cross the road? Shall I take my child to ooh or will he be ok? Do I need to put a coat on?

some risks carry heavier weights than others. Why take them?

curlew · 18/12/2013 10:27

Because it's not a risk at all. It has never happened. Your child is more likely to trip on the steps and break her ankle as you rush her, protesting, out of the cinema with you.

MrsUptight · 18/12/2013 10:31

curlew what on earth are you talking about? Do you have access to ALL police files and ALL memories on earth?

I would never leave a 5 year old unattended in a public place...not ever.

Would you leave one in a shopping centre sitting on a bench while you went to the loo? Doubt it. Not much difference. Enclosed space full of strangers and I am NOT just talking about sexual assault. All kinds of things could happen which might scare or confuse a small child.

MadeOfStarDust · 18/12/2013 10:35

Depends on the individual child and the individual scenario....

In a crowded cinema showing a family film, surrounded by other families, a child who knows to sit quietly and wait - and you know they will not be scared by any of the film content - yes I would leave them.

MrsUptight · 18/12/2013 10:37

Why is a place full of other families somehow safe? Other families are not all good...or all helpful you know. Having kids does not make you immune to being less than nice.

MadeOfStarDust · 18/12/2013 10:41

My eldest is 13 now, takes the bus to the next city, meets her friends outside the cinema and gets herself home after - we only allow daytime for now.... unless an adult is going too... the boundaries move depending on age and circumstance...

there are risks - but life is not about continual risk avoidance - more about risk-management ... what age WOULD you leave a child to nip to the loo for 3 or 4 min in a cinema showing a family film, surrounded by other families ....???

NoComet · 18/12/2013 10:47

YANBU

justanuthermanicmumsday · 18/12/2013 10:50

It's not a case of not trusting the child to stay put its a case of not trusting strangers in the dark with a wee child. Big difference between a 5 year old and 15 year old. I would give a resounding no.

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MrsUptight · 18/12/2013 10:51

StarDust I would say at about 9 or 10 when they've got some knowledge of right and wrong and can get up to find you should they need to.

MrsUptight · 18/12/2013 10:53

I'm not an overprotective parent at all. My DC play outside our home...they're the only ones allowed to do this in our cul de sac....others are all driven everywhere and play indoors or at soft bloody play centres. Next year when DD1 is 10, I will let her go to the local park with friends...but a 5 year old sat alone in a dark cinema? No thanks.

justanuthermanicmumsday · 18/12/2013 11:01

I agree with mrsuptight

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