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AIBU?

To have gone to the loo?

92 replies

FCEK · 17/12/2013 11:41

At the weekend, dd and I went to the cinema to see frozen. She's 5.

Half way through I went to the loo. I thought about leaving it til the movie finished as was unsure about leaving dd in the hall, but I was desperate!!

Dd was fine, enjoying the movie and I made sure she knew to stay put. I was only 5 mins (toilet right next door to the room).

Mil and sil seem to think it was very risky (dd told them mummy missed some of the movie)

I'm annoyed. WIBU?

OP posts:

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MrsUptight · 18/12/2013 12:12

Ghoul....if I choose between leaving a 5 year old and NOT leaving her alone in the cinema....then NOT leaving her removes all risk. That's simple.

Abitannoyedatthis · 18/12/2013 12:00

I personally know of teenagers sexually assaulted in a cinema (separate occasions) so for that reason would feel wary, if seated near another family in full view probably ok.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 18/12/2013 11:58

But that proves the point. You take lots of taxis (a relatively risky thing) because it's worth the risk because it saves you a 5 mile walk or moving to be nearer to school. It is a simple risk benefit analysis. And a sensible one but it is not avoiding all risk which you stated upthread we should seek to do in the cinema situation.

MrsUptight · 18/12/2013 11:53

Well yes but some people can't walk 5 miles to school OR take public transport. I have no car so know ALL about how avoidable it is...but we need taxis often...so it's not completley avoidable.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 18/12/2013 11:51

MrsUptight - Of course driving is avoidable - walking / public transport are both much safer. You take the view the risk involved in driving is worth the benefit of driving.

We agree that a child needs to take on responsibilities gradually. To me leaving a 5 year old to watch a film for a few minutes is one of those steps. You disagree for your child but that doesn't make OP unreasonable , just making a different judgement call to you.

MrsUptight · 18/12/2013 11:42

I know! Grunt you've put it all into perspective. Thanks so much for being the voice of reason.

{off to buy staple gun}

Gruntfuttock · 18/12/2013 11:27

By the way, if anyone is wondering how a stapled down child is removed from the seat once the film has ended:- OMG! I can't believe that you care more about ripped clothes than your child's safety! Get your priorities right!

Hope this helps

MrsUptight · 18/12/2013 11:17

Oh yes...then if you staple the child down, it would slow down any potential child snatchers! Maybe duct tape too....for added peace of mind?

Gruntfuttock · 18/12/2013 11:16

To all those who wouldn't have been sure their child would stay put until they got back from the loo - SURELY you have heard of staple guns! Well worth the small cost for the peace of mind.

MrsUptight · 18/12/2013 11:16

I agree with you by the way...that leaving a small child alone in public is stupid. Nothing more...just stupid.

MrsUptight · 18/12/2013 11:15

Manic DON'T mention Madeleine...on MN people will accuse you of hysteria.

justanuthermanicmumsday · 18/12/2013 11:14

15 year old may go cinema that's fine, not a 5 year old. All I think about is Madeline. They were across the road, she was asleep. Most of us say we wouldn't have done that but are we all being truthful. I find it shocking that ppl think it's ok to leave a 5 year alone in a cinema. Is it ok to leave her alone in a shopping mall or supermarket and walk down 10 aisles away?

Btw I don't think the op is a bad parent or anyone who does but naive yes.

MrsUptight · 18/12/2013 11:13

As for getting your child to learn responsibility...you begin with small steps that are appropriate.

Letting them pay at the shops....allowing them to lay the table....asking them to ask where the loos are in a cafe....and then, when they're old enough, letting them walk to the park with friends. Leaving a defenseless 5 year old alone in a public space is not right.

MrsUptight · 18/12/2013 11:11

Ghoul making the choice to leave your child alone is not the same as the risks we take driving etc. Because it's avoidable.

We drive because we need to mostly.....we cross the road because we must.

Leaving your child is not comparable because it's completely avoidable. Might not be convenient....but it's avoidable.

Sparklingbrook · 18/12/2013 11:09

YY my 11 year old gets the bus/train into town with his friends all the time Made. He loves it.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 18/12/2013 11:08

There is a minute risk that something very serious will happen to your child in those few minutes. A much smaller risk than that you might have a car accident on the way home. Should we all therefore never travel by car because it's not worth the risk? We cannot, nor should we want to, avoid all risk in life.

I think this situation is exactly the sort of small responsibility that we can give to a child this age to develop into a well rounded adult. Of course a 5 year old is different to a 15 year old but how will a 15 year old mature enough to travel to the cinema on their own, get their own ticket etc if we never give them little freedoms along the way?

WireCatGlitteryBaubles · 18/12/2013 11:06

I would have left the child & gone to the loo. Wouldn't have even occurred to me to take him/her!

Blimey, I am a bad mum!.

justanuthermanicmumsday · 18/12/2013 11:01

I agree with mrsuptight

MrsUptight · 18/12/2013 10:53

I'm not an overprotective parent at all. My DC play outside our home...they're the only ones allowed to do this in our cul de sac....others are all driven everywhere and play indoors or at soft bloody play centres. Next year when DD1 is 10, I will let her go to the local park with friends...but a 5 year old sat alone in a dark cinema? No thanks.

MrsUptight · 18/12/2013 10:51

StarDust I would say at about 9 or 10 when they've got some knowledge of right and wrong and can get up to find you should they need to.

justanuthermanicmumsday · 18/12/2013 10:50

It's not a case of not trusting the child to stay put its a case of not trusting strangers in the dark with a wee child. Big difference between a 5 year old and 15 year old. I would give a resounding no.

NoComet · 18/12/2013 10:47

YANBU

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MadeOfStarDust · 18/12/2013 10:41

My eldest is 13 now, takes the bus to the next city, meets her friends outside the cinema and gets herself home after - we only allow daytime for now.... unless an adult is going too... the boundaries move depending on age and circumstance...

there are risks - but life is not about continual risk avoidance - more about risk-management ... what age WOULD you leave a child to nip to the loo for 3 or 4 min in a cinema showing a family film, surrounded by other families ....???

MrsUptight · 18/12/2013 10:37

Why is a place full of other families somehow safe? Other families are not all good...or all helpful you know. Having kids does not make you immune to being less than nice.

MadeOfStarDust · 18/12/2013 10:35

Depends on the individual child and the individual scenario....

In a crowded cinema showing a family film, surrounded by other families, a child who knows to sit quietly and wait - and you know they will not be scared by any of the film content - yes I would leave them.

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