To ask your best baby tips?

[BroodyTroody]

A Christmas tips thread has just got me thinking...

What is your one golden nugget of genius advice for a new mum, either something specific I should do, or an invaluable item I should by?

Thank you!

[MILLYMOLLYMANDYMAX]

Muslin cloths
Baby bouncer chair thing. Absolute life saver.
And breast feed, if you can. It is so simple when going anywhere, everything is on tap. No need to think of formula, water, bottles, sterilising equipment paraphenalia.
Try and get out to mother and baby type groups, especially those post natal groups with mums who ave given birth at the same time you have. It is only by chatting to other mums of similar aged babies do you realise you are not alone and what you are going through is being felt by others at exactly the same time. Kept me sane and got some wonderful tips.

Ignore all advice and go with what you feel is right.

[Thurlow]

I've been reading through this and worked out what my problem is with these kinds of threads. Well, not a 'problem', really, because there's always loads of good advice on here and it is all very well meant, but...

Advice about things is great. Signing up for Netflix, vests rolling downwards, keeping your changing bag fully stocked, having a freezer full of food you can reheat and eat one-handed - all fantastic advice and really practical.

Advice about a baby is sadly pretty useless. Like I said, it's all very well meant but every baby - and mum - is an individual and it will be different every time. Don't leave the house for 6 weeks, don't put your baby down, start a routine at 3wo - all pretty useless until the baby is here.

Having said that, I think the best thing any first time mum can do is read posts by 100 different mums saying what their first few months were like. That's better than any advice about what babies do or don't like. It shows how individual they are, that some are velcro babies, some like to sleep alone in a cot, some cluster feed, some actually like baths... It shows that whatever a mum thinks or feels or wants to do, it's all fine.

[youretoastmildred]

I wished I had been told, in all the millions of completely contradictory baby books I read, really precisely what physically to do in terms of what they were suggesting to soothe the baby.

It seems stupid now because it has become so instinctive. But other than feeding, I didn't know all the things you could do. Even that there are lots of things you can do before you pick the baby up. you can start by being there and talking and singing, head stroking etc and all the rest up the scale of intervention... I didn't look after any babies till I had one and I can't remember how I didn't know about rocking and head stroking and so on but I was like a person with cookery books that say "simmer" and "rolling boil" and "sauté" and do not actually know what any of these things mean.

This is embarrassing and makes me look stupid and heartless and I would never tell anyone irl. Which is why it should be in books, especially the ones that think you should have a routine. "re-settle the baby without a feed" - ok so what do I actually DO? Point at it and shout "settle!" in a decisive voice? (I did not really try that)

[silverten]

Re:swaddling- not so much as don't do it, as the advice (from one bloke, by the way, not the entire medical profession) is not to swaddle the legs too tightly. To do with hip development and long term problems more than overheating.

Worth a google- there was an article on bbc.co.uk recently that summarised it and linked to the relevant study. Will see if I can find it...

[silverten]

here is the swaddling piece

[MyMushroomsInATimeSlip]

Poo escaping up baby's back = need a bigger size nappy

[Canthaveitall]

I ahve 3:

1. Chuck out the books and trust your intuition and go with the flow.
2. Everything is a phase so what seems utterly hideous (lack of sleep) will pass.
3. You don't have to be friends with someone who happens to have had a baby at the same time as you. You can and should avoid smug competitive parents because they are most likely lying about their baby sleeping through from birth/talking fluent Russian at 10 months/completing their MSc in Astro Physics at 3.

[Canthaveitall]

I never knew that about baby vest necks though

Oh well too late now.

[fossil971]

Once you are settled, learn to change a nappy on your lap (i.e. you sit down and lie the baby across your knees) - you normally see experienced childminders doing this at toddler groups. They will have changed the baby in the time it takes you to lug your loaded changing bag to the mother and baby toilet.

Then you will never have to fuss about whether somewhere has a changing unit.

here I personally favoured holding baby's ankles with the left hand and doing the business with the right hand.

[fossil971]

Oh and the thing for treating (as opposed to preventing) nappy rash is Metanium . Magic.

[cookiemonster100]

Love this thread! Thanks :)

Love from exhausted mum of a 3 week old xx

[flippingebay]

Routine routine routine

[Canthaveitall]

Ooh yes I second Metanium. It is magic.

[ananikifo]

Wait as long as possible to buy anything small, and only buy a small amount of essential clothes that you love. People give you loads of stuff at the end of your pregnancy or first month after having baby. Weastill have people asking what we need and we have nothing to tell them.

Also, if you can get your hands on zippered babygros always get them. They are just so much easier. Mine are gifts from relatives in Canada but apparently Baby Gap sells then.

If it's not too warm use tights instead of socks, even for boys. They're warmer and they stay on. H&M does neutral colours or you can order patterned ones on eBay.

[BoffinMum]

Fuckwittery, the cleavage tip is brilliant!

[BoffinMum]

I will see if I can get that tip on Superscrimpers

[FlipFlippingFlippers]

My piece of advice is to try and not beat yourself up if you do something clumsy with baby.

Almost all the mum's I knew when I was pregnant with PFB had stories of dropping them etc and I recoiled in horror and was adamant that it wouldn't be me.

Then sleep deprived in Tesco when PFB was about 3 weeks old I managed to drop a punnet of grapes on her head! 5 years on I still feel like the most awful mum (she was fine by the way, didn't even stir in her sleep) for months I didn't tell anyone and I'd convinced myself I'd given her brain damage (tiredness and hormones can make you overreact!)

Accidents happen, we are all (often seriously sleep deprived) human.

[HazleNutt]

must-buy for me was kindle paperwhite. can read during night feedings without turning light on.

[BoffinMum]

Yes, they all roll off something at least once. It's amazing there even is a human race still.

[Madamecastafiore]

Do rest and sleep when baby sleeps.

I have DD (7 day sold ) lying on me asleep, am watching Saturday Kitchen and other than to feed I have not yet got up. DD is the most happy and I feel so much happier than the harried woman I was the first time with the older DCs.

It has taken a lot of steeling myself from doing things and battling the anxiety of not having a perfectly tidy house but I feel so much more happier and healthier than the last 2 times being at home with a new born.

Oh and babies only need their clothes changing when they are milky or sicky and they don't need washing for weeks. Their skin will benefit and so will your laundry pile!

[BoffinMum]

This is true. You can over wash babies. A bit of strategic wiping is all the need mostly.

[loveolives]

Breastfeed if you can as it's a piece of piss once you get the hang and I'm lazy by nature so that was the easiest option. Completely follow your baby and their lead. And buy a baby swing. Saved. My. Life.

[Dangermouse1]

This is getting a bit ahead of where you are, but when it comes to getting a high chair, buy the really cheap white one from IKEA. I know loads of people who started with one of the expensive, padded types and then swapped as their babies hated them. As well as being cheap this is nice and small so babies don't feel trapped and v easy to clean.

But to follow that - don't buy anything until you really need it. You might think you're getting a bargin but may just end up with a house full of really hideous plastic stuff you never use. Keep the space while you can. Going to baby groups etc you'll meet loads of other parents and see them using things (slings, toys, types of clothes etc.) that aren't essential to have right away, then you can see how they really work and if they fit your baby/lifestyle.

[Dangermouse1]

Oh, and if you are bf, buy a 5 pound v shaped pillow from Shaws. You can use to support your baby on your lap when little (much cheaper and does exactly the same as the 30 pound plus special feeding pillows) and/or to support your back so you can bf comfortably if your sofa doesn't support you enough. Also good for tummy time.