I am 32 and my boy-friend of 2.5 years is 5 years younger than I am.
2 years ago I fell pregnant and as we were both not ready, I had an abortion. I have regretted this decision ever since.
Then earlier ths year I was very unwell for a period and during this time discovered I was pregnant. I was delighted and surprised and wanted to keep it, however my boy-friend did not and became a monster, becoming quite verbally unpleasant. He pleaaded and begged for me to have another abortion saying we would have kids in 2 years time, not having any consideration for what risks there may be, and after realising I would not give in, he threatened to leave me and said some very hurtful things. The stress was immense from the constant arguing and I miscarried.
Becoming pregnant again has awaken my biological clock and now I have such a strong urge for children and am terrified of leaving it much longer as I am not a spring chicken.
I asked him about kids and he now says that he does not know when he will be ready for kids, and that the whole "2 years time" nonsense was said in panic. But that he definately wants kids with me in the future.
He thinks that everything has gone back to normal and that we can just carry on as before however I am offended how against our baby he was, and my parents has expressed that I should have more self esteem and find a better man who will look after me in the emotional sense, as my current boy-friend is like a teenage boy who never grew up.
However I am in love and I do believe that he is in love with me. We are both British but met working abroad. He gave up his job and moved to my city to be together / we h ave shared so much. But I know in my heart that we have no future because of the baby situation, but I am scared of the heart ache and loneliness that will follow if I break up with him. We live together and it will tear me apart seeing him go.
I am crying as I write this. I would like to bear from other ladies who were/Are in simular situations and how you got through it.
Thanks x
AIBU?
Should I breakup with boyfriend who is not ready for kids
Hellokitty00 · 16/11/2013 18:10
Sugarmouse1 - Are you the OP's 'D'P?
And just for the record, the problem is that there is an ageing population. We need more children not less to make sure we can cover the pensions of the older people.
OP. The fact you have posted here upset about this makes me think that you know in your heart you do not want to be with this man, and I am pleased you've come here for validation of that because he sounds like a total cock. I don't know if anyone has told you this, but try reading back your OP as if it was a close friend going through this. What would you advise her to do? Don't accept less for yourself.
Me and my ex broke up for many reasons but one of them was him dangling the possibility of a family in front of me to stop me from my career goals, so I put my life on hold, and that family still never happened. Your 'D'P is a massive carrot dangler, and you owe it to yourself not to waste anymore time with him. 
regardless if he turns round tomorrow and says he wants kids, and thats very unlikely, he isnt the man for you and no reason to stay with someone as you may not find better
you will easily find better
and you are 32, which tbh is still young enough to find another man, have a year or two with him, then have kids
he is immature, he is only 27 and obv kids doesnt come into his agenda at the moment, but possibly will in 5 years, when he is your age
sorry to hear about your mc :( but dont let that be a reason to stay with a man who obv doesnt love you
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