to share this funny conversation with two 3 year olds with you?

[MoveYourArmsLikeHenry]

In the pre school room of my nursery today, a small group of 3/4 yo and myself were talking about food. This gave me a good laugh I hope it can do the same for you :)

Me: what is daddy making for dinner tonight?
Child 1: marshmallows, crisps and sausages.
Me: my goodness. I dont think mummy would be too happy about that.
Child 1: I wont either. I want a biscuit and a glass of juice as well.

[Grin]

Me: what did you have for dinner last night?
Child 2: fish fingers, potato, peas and carrots.
Me: yum yum. Did you eat it all up?
Child 2: I didnt eat the carrots.
Me: oh dear, but carrots help you see in the dark.
Child2: I can just use my torch to see in the dark.

Cant argue with that logic

[Rockinhippy]

Another, not mine but a small obviously well looked after precocious little DD of about 3, when facepainting at a friends nursery

DD when half way through having her face painted in the morning.

DD, my mummies getting drunk you know, she's always drunk

Me, oh I bet your mummy is really at work right now working really hard

DD, very indignantly - NO!! Daddy very works hard, mummy just gets drunk a log


This girl was way to forward & obviously well looked after to have a lush for a DM, confirmed by my nursery owner friend, her mum was a friend of a key worker & was very much slogging away at work & didn't actually drink - kids!!

[justalilmummy]

Ds dissapears off to a bush

Ds what u doing?

I'm doing a poo

We poo in the toilet ds

But mummy theres no toilet

(would have stopped him but at this point was far too late!)

[sporktacular]

Thanks so much, I don't have any kids and have been feeling a bit down lately and this stuff is brilliant and has cheered me right up!

Me: (Aged about 3?): Mummy what are lesbians?

My Mum: Well lesbians are two women who love each other very much.

Me: Are we lesbians mummy? I love you very much!

It's not as good as "does that mean Uncle Murray used to be a monkey?" though, or half of these, please keep em coming!

[justalilmummy]

Weegiemum my ds has suddenly noticed the difference between girls and boys and all I hear atm is I want a Minnie I want to be a girl, u had a Willy when u was a little boy but now u grown and u have a Minnie so I will be a girl when I grow up

Dp face is a picture I regularly have to remind him hes four and not to panic he won't be starting hormone treatment anytime soon!

[SoldAtAuction]

When DS was about five, he was sat at the front of the church, with all of the kids, listening to the minister explain a bible story. He explained that God loves all the creatures he has made, and watches over them. DS raised his hand and asked "Do they all get to go to heaven when they die?"
The minister said yes, and DS asked "You're sure? What does God do about the dinosaurs then?"

[steff13]

When my oldest son (now 14) was about three or four, he had a bit of a speech impediment. We had this conversation when I was buckling him into his carseat:

E: Mommy, I like your cock.
Me: What?
E: I like your cock.
Me: I'm sorry, can you tell me one more time?
E (pointing at my watch): I LIKE YOUR COCK! IT'S PRETTY!

My daughter, who is currently three, informed me yesterday while I was getting dressed (I had panties on) that she likes my butt, and thinks it's cute.

[Lj8893]

This has entertained me through the night feeds!!

When I was with my XP he had 2 dds (3 and 8)

XP had gone to get us fish and chips and dd2 was being miserable and playing up.

Me: dd2 miserable girls don't get chips.

Dd1: dd2 your being horrid today!

Me: dd2 when your horrid you make me cry

Dd1: you don't want to make LJ cry do you! Stop being horrid!

Dd2 starts wailing "I'm not hairy!!!!!!!"

[Xochiquetzal]

My parents used to babysit 2 adorable twins, I was round one day when Dad picked them up from school about a week after they started when they had this great conversation in the car:

my Dad: So, hows school going girls? is it fun?
Twin A: yeah its ok, we've been drawing pictures.
Dad: what did you draw?
Twin A: I drew you
Twin B: She drew you really fat... really really fat... you were basically just a big circle with a little circle for a head.
Twin A: well if I'd drawn a skinny man it wouldn't look like him would it? -Pats Dad's leg- its ok, we like you cuddly.

[TiggyD]

At Hallowe'en:

Child - Are monsters real?
Me - No.
Are cats real?
Yes.
Are dogs real?
Yes.
Are ghosts real?
No.
Are colours real?
Yes.

I quickly found an excuse to go somewhere else as my head was starting to hurt.

[TiggyD]

To the person who said "Honestly, I hope he never speaks about us to his nursery staff". I'm afraid we hear all kinds of things at nursery. My favourite was "Mummy got excited and threw wine at daddy."

[Tabby1963]

Ha! These are so funny. I must remember not to read threads like this in public though, getting funny looks now because I can't help giggling lol.

[Budgiegirlbob]

The teacher of my then 6 year old DS approached me after school, to tell me that DS had made her laugh that day.
Apparently they had been talking about items of clothes, the teacher had said something about a pullover.
DS: What's a pullover?
Teacher: Haven't you ever heard of a pullover?
DS: I've heard of a hangover!