to share this funny conversation with two 3 year olds with you?

[MoveYourArmsLikeHenry]

In the pre school room of my nursery today, a small group of 3/4 yo and myself were talking about food. This gave me a good laugh I hope it can do the same for you :)

Me: what is daddy making for dinner tonight?
Child 1: marshmallows, crisps and sausages.
Me: my goodness. I dont think mummy would be too happy about that.
Child 1: I wont either. I want a biscuit and a glass of juice as well.

[Grin]

Me: what did you have for dinner last night?
Child 2: fish fingers, potato, peas and carrots.
Me: yum yum. Did you eat it all up?
Child 2: I didnt eat the carrots.
Me: oh dear, but carrots help you see in the dark.
Child2: I can just use my torch to see in the dark.

Cant argue with that logic

At my DPs one weekend, DD(4): "I like your jacuzzi Grsndma. We don't have a jacuzzi."

Pause

"I tried once, but there was an accident and Daddy had to poke it down the hole".

DM handed over to me, went into the garden and made a noise very like a hyena.

DDs just done another for me...

'Mummy at school,Mrs Smith has got really big honkers and if I'm good we can play with them'

Me 'erm?'

DS, big SIG and rolls eyes 'She means conkers Mum'

DS (3) was telling me that there are two children with the same first name in his class at nursery.
He then said that nobody else in his class has the same name as him.

I then said that when I was at school there were 6 girls in my class all with the same name as me.

To which he replied amazed "what, all called Mummy? "!

Really made me laugh.

My three year old was asking for another biscuit and said:

"Is it a yes, or a no?!"

Me: "no"

Him: "I'll take that as a yes!"

I laughed out loud. It makes him sound precocious, but he's lovely really.

The bum with a nose and the jacuzzi accident have made me cry laughing

My niece is a goldmine for these!

We were on the train in London when she was two, she was enjoying loudly singing 5 little ducks went swimming one day, with the rapt attention of the carriage, it was noisy for a bit a nd then we pulled into a station, she had clearly decided that ducks were boring so the whole carriage were treated to a final crescendo "aaaaaaannnnnnnddddd fiiiiiiiiive littttttlllllleee poo pops came floating back" you could have heard a pin drop. I had to choke out "DN auntie oven doesn't like poo poo songs"

When she was four I got treated to an inquisition about a bottle of wine in my fridge "auntie oven is that wine?' 'Yes DN' 'do you get drunk?' 'No I just have some with dinner, ' 'can I have some with my dinner?' 'sorry wine is only for grown ups, it tastes yucky to children.' 'Mummy doesn't think it tastes yucky, she gets drunk and daddy has to help her on the stairs, naughty mummy'....sil was very red faced at pick up time!

Loving mummy getting drunk and needing help on the stairs

That's very sweet.

One of my ds during a ed phy assessment after being asked where he would expect to find fish

Ds... The ocean some rivers a tank or a tin,I much prefer my fish in a tin they don't need cleaning out and just work well with toast.

My Ds(3) and I watched Casper the other day. He loved it and found the uncles hilarious!

Anyway so today during some random conversation he remembered the film and said to me: 'Mummy 'member we watched Pasper yesterday a long time ago. He's a ghost and he wants a friend. Then he turns into a boy and then a ghost again and scares everybody. Pasper becomes a superhero too. He's so cool!'

Was so cute how he remembered the storyline and got so animated telling me all about it but failed to grasp Casper's name and 'yesterday a long time ago' usually means anything from yesterday to a few weeks ago.

Have just cried laughing at the jacuzzi one

DD1 (2.10): Mummy, you're just like a bouncy castle.

Me: puts down and starts diet NOW

4 yo little one, in park,....

'i wish I was a boy
'why'
'so I could have a willy and wee up a tree'

okay then

My DD (3) said two new girls started at her pre-school.
DD - They have the same face
Me - They must be twins. What are their names?
DD - Ellie and err.. Ellie 2??

And this week DD (3) seems to have a prison obsession for some bizarre reason
DD If you steal a car will you go to prison?
Me Yes
DD Can I come too?
Me No, you'd live with Daddy and just visit me every few weeks
DD I wouldn't like that. How about if we both steal a car and we can go to prison together?

Aww Mouldy, that's just adorable!

I was breast feeding my new DD, when DS aged 3 wanders in, stares for a while, then asks what I'm doing.
I tell him I'm giving DD her milk.
DS thinks for a moment and then asks "is there juice in the other one?"

DS was born just after DD's second birthday. Roll forward almost twelve months and the three is us are having lunch and DD asks "when is DS' birthday, Mummy" to which I give the answer of "next week" at which point DD turns to DS and says "next week you'll be one. And then. Next year you'll be two. When you're two, you get to have a baby brother or sister. I wonder which you'll have". When I had stopped spluttering, I explained to DD that just because she'd "got" a baby brother when she was two, not every one did and that DS most certainly would not be getting a younger sibling.

Each day DD makes me laugh as she is just so patronising to DS continually saying things like "that's it, little brother, your spoon goes in your mouth". She is also very strict with him and frequently says "I'm only going to ask/tell you this once". Obviously I have no idea where she gets that particular phrase from!

My nephew was a little older (about five) when he and his mum were having a chat about evolution. He paused for a while, taking everything on board, and said:

So does that mean Uncle Murray (105-years-old) used to be a monkey?

When dd was 6 (a long time ago) she had a doctor's appointment and so had half the morning off school. Walking back to school she asked me if she'd be marked 'pregnant' in the register.

I told her I hoped not.

When I was 2 (I have younger twin brothers) I was told off because I bit J - 'Don't bite J' said my mum. So I bit R instead and wailed as my bum got a smack 'But you didn't say I couldn't bite R'

Am crying with laughter

Is there juice in the other one
I am also doing a mutley impersonation reading this.

These are fantastic! DD iss 2 and good with words but hasnt said anything as memorable as this yet!

My friends little.boy was being told not to do something (3) and put his hands on his hips and asked "But what exactly is the problem.Mummy?"

DD aged 5 : Mummy, why has Daddy got that patch on his arm?
Mum: He's trying to give up smoking
DD: Oh. (Pause). Shouldn't it be over his mouth?

This thread is just brilliant

I'm loving these :)

My own DD is older now, but she was very much one for the withering response & had us giggling often, ones I remember right now are...

at about 3 - Leaving the supermarket & the auto doors slide open

DD - mummy, how do those doors know we are coming & open by themselves

Me - Oh, they are magic, there's an invisible pixie who operates them

DD - bigh dramatic sigh - don't be silly mummy, they have Lazer sensors

At about 2,1/2 eating veggie salad with mixed bean salad & wanting me to name every bean

DD - what's this ?
Me - Cannelloni bean
DD - what, doesn't it have any friends

Realised later she heard "kinda lonely bean" :)

Over heard on a recent camping trip with a gang ov 10/11 yr olds huddled in a tent to keep out of the rain & planning games

Boy im only playing truth or dare if there's none of that unhygienic stuff like kissing

Cue my & DH choking on our drinks