To not buy dd1 the "ONLY thing in the world" she wants for xmas/birthday?

[D0oinMeCleanin]

She will even "sell me her Kindle Fire, 3DS, ipod nano, ipig and her soul" if I buy her one. She tried to sell me her Xbox, until I pointed out that it was not hers to sell and already belonged to me She won't sell me her bike, she loves it too much.

She wants an ipad air. I do not want to buy her one. Not because we cannot afford one, it would be a big chunk of our christmas budget and she'd have to not do any big birthday celebrations, but we could afford one just.

The reason I do not want to buy her one is that a) I begrudge paying Apple's prices which I believe are massively inflated simply because it is an Apple product and people blindly believe they are best (although admittedly upon looking further into it ipad air is very impressive, but then so is the new Google Nexus) and b) Going on what she is wanting to use it for, there are more suitable, cheaper tablets out there for her, that do the job just as well but without Apple's price tag.

She is wanting it primarily for taking photos and videos, watching movies on the go and playing minecraft. The Galaxy Tab 2 is just as suitable for her. It's processor is slower, but as she is not as massive gamer, she'll hardly notice this and it's camera is not as good, but she is not a photographer, she wants it simply to take photos of her dogs to edit in photo editor/whatever it is she uses, a 3MP camera will do the job adequately. When it comes to watching movies, the ipad air has a much better display, however once you get past 1080p, the difference is hardly noticeable, imo, the Tab 2 has a bigger screen (something which she would notice) and plays a higher number of file types, meaning less pestering me to convert files for her and the Tab 2 has expandable memory, which she will need.

She also wants Skype/Facetime etc. to keep in touch with her Aunt. Both devices have HD web cams.

And the biggest bonus is that the Tab 2 is significantly cheaper. I do not believe the Air is £200+ better than the Tab 2. Plus 2 weeks after she gets it, she'll be moaning she's run out of space on it and asking me where her memory card is so she can swap it for a bigger one, just like she did with her ipod and kindle fire.

I've spoken to her about this and she is adamant that it is ONLY the ipad air she wants, although she is unable to tell me why beyond "It's the best because it's ipad and all my friends have one and Mr. X (her new teacher) has one because it's the best and if he says it's the best, it must be the best, btw we also need to buy a Mac because they are better than Windows PCs"

If she can't have the ipad Air, she'd rather have the cash to save towards the ipad, than the Tab 2.

She's a bit of a sheep and easily sold to.

[TwoStepsBeyond]

I wouldn't waste your money buying her a different tablet that she doesn't want. It will always feel like a compromise and her reaction on Xmas morning will be horrible for you both if she's already said she doesn't really want it.

If you think any kind of tablet would be handy and you can afford the one she wants then I think you should remember that giving a gift is about making the other person happy, not buying them something that you think they SHOULD like.

If you don't think she'll get anything much out of a tablet that she can't already get from her phone/home PC etc then don't buy her a tablet at all and ask her for some other ideas perhaps more suited to a child her age than an adult

I know apple stuff is over priced, but I must admit that I love mine and use it 10 times more than I ever used my old generic tablet as it's just easier and more appealing to me.

[D0oinMeCleanin]

We did look at the Tab 3 and the new Note tablet (which I need) and as I pointed out to her, she knows how to use Samsung products as my phones are normally Samsung.

I still believe for what she wants to use it for she doesn't need anything more powerful than the Tab 2.

I also told her that Samsung product are well know for being far easier to use than Apple and as we don't have a Mac and have no intention of getting one, then Apple devices will be a pain in the arse to synch. She told me she knows how to use Apple because the school have ipad 2 which they are allowed to use freely in her class and she's had a go on her teacher's ipad air.

Her teacher, is every 10yo's dream teacher. Their math lessons are mainly on ipads and involve playing Minecraft and they're allowed to bring their own tablets to use in the free time on a Friday afternoon. He also has a YouTube channel dedicated to Minecraft tutorials. He often hands out extra "optional" homework, to do with Minecraft or computers in general. Dd1 thinks he is God.

[lottieandmia]

I think 10 is a little bit young. But then my nearly 10 year old often needs to use the laptop for her homework.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

My 10 year old ds2 asked for a ps4 for Christmas.

He said if I buy it, it will be his Christmas present, birthday present, he will sell his ps3 and games, etc etc. --he won't, because the ps3 is only half his, ds1 "owns" the other half.

He will sell his iPod touch, do all manner of jobs in the house and not have any pocket money til he had saved up for it.

I said ok. This was about 3 weeks ago.
First 2 weeks, no pocket money, that was ok. Last week he said to me, actually mum, I have been thinking and I would rather have a Christmas present and a birthday present and get my pocket money. I will ask for a ps4 next Christmas when they are cheaper

What he doesn't actually know is that ds1 has saved £100, so we are paying the rest and buying it for Christmas. For both of them to share.

Only because ds1 actually did save the money. Because he is 15. At 10, it sounds like a good idea in theory. Putting it into practice is different

[FestiveEdition]

Perfect learning curve tantrums

[Beastofburden]

Dear god, at age 9 (not yet 10) she has all that other kit she could sell?

And she wants a luxury machine like an iPad Air?

At that age it's all fantasy, she doesn't really know what is going on. But she will remain "a sheep and easily sold to" if this peer pressure and school pressure continues to get rewards.

I don't believe for one minute that "all her friends have one" but if they do, you might want to take a look at her friends.

I know that traditionally, 9 year olds who were rich enough got ponies, which is financially far worse. Or professional coaching in sport or music or dance. It's not so much the money. It's the fact that this is just a toy, just a self-indulgence. Ponies, sport, music, dance- they require the child to take some responsibility and put something back.

The darker side of this all-encompassing loyalty to her digital life is the risk of cyber bullying later. She needs a sense of proportion, and not just about the money. teen years are looming, teach her now before shit happens online, that there is more to life.

[CambridgeBlue]

I think 10 is way too young for anything like an iPad - what the hell has she got to aim for in the future is she gets such an expensive gadget at that age?

That's just me though, so looking at it from another POV, if my DD desperately wanted e.g. a bike that cost £700, I would think about giving her the amount I would normally spend on her Xmas present, suggest to family members asking for ideas that they give her cash and get her to save up herself.

But I think it would be a pretty dull Xmas morning with no other presents, just a pile of cash and a long wait ahead while she saves up the rest.

[DowntonTrout]

I love Apple products. We are all iPhone, iPad, iPod etc in our house. I have had ipad since the beginning and am currently finding my ipad 1 a pain becauseit does not update beyond ios5. I was hoping for the iPad air for Xmas but DH had already ordered me the iPad 4 and has had it engraved (grrr) . Anyway that's another story.

DD is 12. She has iPad 4. She was bought it because she is away at school and does a 2 hour train journey twice a week. She recently broke the screen and it was very expensive to fix. I started looking at alternatives and am really impressed with the Tesco Hudl. At £119 it seems like a bargain. Ok, it's not an iPad, never will be, but for what your DD will be doing (and mine for that matter) it is great value.

Could you offer her something like that, as a compromise. A) to see how she looks after it and B) because at £300 to £500 less than the iPad air, depending on which you are looking at, you would not be making an expensive mistake? Once a DC starts taking an iPad outside the house to take photos or whatever, you are asking for trouble (as I now know, to my cost). I understand she may really, really want the air, but waiting a year or two and maybe suggesting she saves towards one seems sensible. My DD is saving towards a mac book air for when she needs a laptop in year 9/10.

[LaurieFairyCake]

It's all about money coming in and the lifestyle you have.

In this house dd will get £160 spent on her, main present the majority of that. We have 60k coming in.

We have no gadgets worth more than 299 ( the last laptop I bought) so it's not in our nature to have 700 gadgets for taking photos and watching videos.

If you've 100k plus coming in it may be more normal to spend 700 quid on a child's Christmas present - my best friend has about 200k coming in and spends about 400-500 on each of her children.

[DowntonTrout]

Sorry, wrote that ages ago and then it didn't post, I see you are looking at other tablets.

[D0oinMeCleanin]

I looked at the Hudl, I thought that would have been a good alternative and one she might go for because you can get purple ones. It's only 7 inch though and the screen size is a big issue for her.

She does look after her stuff. The box to her Kindle Fire is still in mint condition, never mind the Kindle itself, although we have issues with chargers. Those she rarely remembers to put away and they end up lost, another plus for the Samsung, it uses a generic mini usb charger, of which we have hundreds. The new ipad air has a different charger.

[hamdangle]

At 10 DS1 asked for two packs of top trumps and a rubber snake. And he still believed in Father Christmas. At 17 he still would never ever ever dream of asking for something so expensive. We can afford to spend that amount of money on him and have done (although definitely not at the age of ten) but he would never ask for it and certainly never expect it.

He has never been disappointed on Christmas day either because it's an exciting day where children get spoiled and you get to see all your family and eat lovely food and play games. If I had a child who was disappointed on Christmas Day because she'd got a cheaper tablet than the one she'd demanded I would truly feel like I'd failed as a parent.

[SparklyFucker]

I know nothing about actual tablets, but in terms of dealing with the issue of her wants vs yours, I'd say have a talk. Offer her the value of the tablet you want to buy her, and explain all your reasons to her. Tell her about the other things she could get with the extra £200 (if I've read the thread correctly?), stress just exactly how much money that is. At that point suggest that if she really does still want the ipad Air, she has to deliver on her promise and sell her other gadgets to make up the difference. When she's done that she'll need to see what difference is still left and save/earn the extra.

That's how I'd approach it.

[MrsCharlesBrandon]

My nearly 10yo has asked for a pair of earrings like mine for christmas, a couple of board games, and some books.

She owns a Netbook (from school) and will be getting a tablet for her birthday. The tablet is £60.

My 8yo asked for an ipod, and ipad, and a laptop. I laughed a lot and told her NO. She's now scaled it down a lot and asked for far more reasonable stuff. She is also getting a basic tablet but only because i'm sick of her whining to use my laptop.

What happens when the next ipad comes out? will your DD insist she has to have that one too? And all the future ones?

Apple is a waste of money imo. Get her the Galaxy tab and she'll have to be grateful for it.

[YouTheCat]

I went into Apple yesterday as my dbro wanted some gadget for Christmas - it was like a whole shop full of the brainwashed. The shop assistants were like Stepford wives. It is a scary place.

Apple is crap - get something else.

[diddl]

"What he doesn't actually know is that ds1 has saved £100, so we are paying the rest and buying it for Christmas. For both of them to share."

That doesn't sound at all fair to me!

Op-she's 10, shouldn't she still be having toys??

[SaucyJack]

why is it not OK to reward a child who is prepared to sacrifice other gifts, in order to save money so she can buy something she truly wants?
(and which is likely to be on sale for considerable cheaper, after Christmas!!)
I see it as teaching a lot about saving, about not just getting something for the asking but having to sacrifice for it. And also about marketing ploys, if she does discover that it doesn't quite perform as she thought.

Of course its easy to just say no, have the one I choose for you, but that doesn't teach much more than disappointment, really.
This sounds like a determined, bright child, with sensible parents. Why not encourage good traits for adult life, when you can?



Sorry Festive, but you may as well be typing Swahili (or using the English-Swahili translator on whatever overpriced gadget you're using) for all the sense you're making to me.

I simply was not raised (nor am raising my DDs) in a household where buying a 10 year old a 700 quid tablet for Xmas because you're frightened they'll have a tantrum over "settling" for a 200 quid one that does exactly the same thing is teaching them anything about savings or sacrifices, or is setting them up with good traits for adult life

I would sooner give one of mine a sore arse nothing if they even dreamt of behaving in such an ungrateful fashion.


shakes head and wanders off muttering to the prematurely ageing gimmers corner

[Beastofburden]

I am going to repeat my other point-

Its not just about money.

Dont allow her online life to loom so large in her social and emotional life that she absolutely must have the latest gadget, will sell her possessions, soul, grandmother, etc.

Teach her a sense of proportion about this before she is a teen and the cyber bullying starts. It will be too late then to tell her it is not the end of the world.

[KungFuBustle]

I'm reminded of this

I didn't realise your DC was 10! I assumed about 15 when I first answered. My DS is ten and although his nanny is getting him a tablet (she found one for £40) he wouldn't dream of asking for one. This is a child for whom we bought an Xbox in the summer without being asked. I though my DS was spoilt for stuff. I mention this as I'm not a parent who thinks children should be happy playing in a box, gadgets are cool and do have a lot to offer.

Are you not concerned that if you buy her the Air she'll never learn? She'll always just want the brand name? Say no and get her some real toys. She has a kindle fire. She'll live.

[noblegiraffe]

She only wants it because her hero has one. That's not a good enough reason to fork out extra money on an inferior (for her needs) item!

My mum used to say 'I want doesn't get'

I want an iPhone 5s. I'm not going to get one because it's extortionately priced for what it is. Teaching "I want = I get" is the route to maxed out credit cards, debt and Brighthouse.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

Why isn't it fair diddl?

[diddl]

Because it's to share yet one child has contributed 100GBP & the other nothing?

Unless I misunderstood.

[YouTheCat]

I spent hours as a kid with the Argos catalogue, circling all the things I would get if I had loads of money. It wasn't a list of things I wanted. And I would never have dreamt of demanding anything.

What is wrong with children wanting things but being unable to have them?

They grow up still wanting everything and if they are unable to buy the things it's either the parents still shelling out for things when they are in their 20s or them going into debt. It is a very bad life lesson.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

The one child in question has a part time job, and is able to save £100 and his money will be spent on 2 new games and additional controller. I am buying the ps4

[SooticaTheWitchesCat]

She is 10, she already has a Kindle Fire, 3DS, ipod nano and an Xbox and now she wants an ipad air

My DD is 10 next year and she wants a new Barbie for Christmas!

Thank god we don't have those kind of arguments in our house...