Is he doing this deliberately?

[Wuldric]

I asked DH to cook Sunday lunch this weekend. He blanched, but when I pointed out that the DCs were doing breakfasts, I had done Friday evening, Saturday lunch and evening, and Sunday evening, he manned up.

It was a roast. What could be easier? It's all peeling and chopping. So this is what happened.

Roast lamb - I would have cooked this with slivers of garlic, plenty of rosemary, salt, black pepper and red wine, and served it pink and juicy and delicious. We got dry and overcooked lamb. No extras. You try overcooking lamb until it is dry. It is not good. In fact it is pretty hard to overcook lamb until it is inedible. DH, however, succeeded.

Roast potatoes - Roasties are simples. You boil some potatoes, drain and slather them in goose fat (we have jars of the stuff) and salt and black pepper. Never leave them in for longer than an hour. DH presented us with roasties that had been carbonised. I have never tasted such things. Imagine something black on the outside, and the inside had shrivelled and detached from the outside. Little buttons of burned stuff.

Gravy - he presented us with bisto granules. I have binned this stuff since I saw it creeping into the cupboard. They are nonsense. Nasty and artificial and somewhat sinister. And lumpy.

Vegetables - I don't even want to tell you about the vegetable abuse. You would call vegetable social services. In any event, they were so soggy that they were almost liquified. You try presenting liquified carrots and parsnips. It takes a real man to liquify a parsnip without electrical assistance.

Yorkshire puddings - purists amongst you will have noticed that the roast in question was lamb. Yorkshire puddings are served with beef. DH is from Yorkshire therefore feels that no meal is complete without a Yorkshire Pudding. Despite his undoubted Yorkshire heritage, DH managed to serve black nuggets. Black nuggets are never ever going to catch on. I understand now why the smoke alarm kept going off repeatedly.

He is doing this deliberately, isn't he?

[Stealmysunshine]

YABU. I don't think it's done deliberately.

Everyone has their "signature" dishes that they can make beautifully, especially if they don't cook all the time. It was defo a car crash meal but are his roasts all ways this bad or did you expect him to just 'know' how to cook it your way?

Men's brains don't think like ours so if you needed the meal to be cooked with love and care instead of just cooked you should have told him exactly what you wanted. Or just do it yourself.

[valiumredhead]

Everyone burns the dinner now and again. The first roast I every cooked Dh was very like your Dh's OP but now my roast are legendary even though I do say so myself

[Gileswithachainsaw]

But if he's have been watching it....??? I mean come on everyone knows what a roast potato looks like you don't need to be able to cook to see its burning.

Take it out. I personally wouldn't have batted an eye kid if my dp messed up timings a bit and we had to jiggle about at the end to re heat a couple of bits. But he can't have been watching it which I'd say is pretty obvious so in this instance I don't thing the op is being unreasonable.

:) I've made things tht have gone a bit wrong but I also thing about how to salvage them or what I could do better next time. Dp on the other hand , well..,., lol

[valiumredhead]

Don't men cook with love and care then? Better tell Ramsey, Blumenthal and all the other great male chefs around

[valiumredhead]

Was it his first roast?

[yeghoulsandlittledevils]

I got DH to cook a roast chicken on Sunday. I was around to help (he kept asking what was next, and managed most of it.) But then he went off somewhere (was there football on that day?) So we didn't get roast potatoes.

I just said it was great and let the kids grumble and say that he needs more practice ready for when he cooks Christmas dinner!

[doormat]

giles i have watched mechanics fix my car....but i still wouldnt know what an alternator and brake pad looks like..

exactly valium ..some are good..some are shite

just like women

[Gileswithachainsaw]

But you'd own up to it and not ruin the whole car trying.
Cooking is nothing like putting a car together.most people go to a trained professional for that as a bad result can kill someone.

Noticing a roast potato was turning black is something my dd could spot.

And the instructions are right there on the packet. Without expecting miracles with trimmings and flavours the basic instructions are right there.

[Grennie]

Men's brains work exactly the same as ours.

Get him to practice it every Sunday until he perfects it. To make such a mess of everything does suggest it is deliberate. Overcooking one bit like the lamb I can understand. But to make a mess of it all??

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Exactly grennie

He wasbt paying attention it's bloody obvious.

[HardFacedCareeristBitchNigel]

lose a whole Sunday morning cooking a roast

what on earth are you doing ? Stick meat on oven. Parboil some spuds and stick them in 45 mins before you want to eat. Take meat out, turn up oven and stick in some yorkies. Bung some veg in 10 minutes before you want to eat.

No roast should take a whole morning to prepare, once you've got the hang of it it's the laziest "proper" meal possible !

[Thumbwitch]

Overcooking lamb to a point of dry inedibility is pretty difficult! My mum was a known incinerator of meat - beef would be reduced to 1/3 of its wet weight, and was like woven string. We needed the gravy to re-hydrate it. BUT her lamb, despite being cooked in the same way for the same time, was usually fall-off-the-bone and quite edible, although also shrunken - but it was never inedibly dry. (And she did great roasties and Yorkshires, she just had a "thing" about overcooking meat)

[valiumredhead]

I hate rosemary in lamb btw, bleurrrgh! Salt and pepper is all a good piece of lamb needs

[HardFacedCareeristBitchNigel]

Next time it is his turn to cook let him male whatever he wants to cook and is good at. Even if it is just beans on toast

Maybe the OP can do that too. Somehow I imagine she'd probably prefer to turn out beans on toast night after night than whatever she does have to make.

These poor little men, they really shouldn't be expected to do anything, should they ? Selfish, horrible wives to even consider asking them to do anything complicated like cook a proper meal.

Have I come on the wrong website this week ? AIBU seems to have stepped into a 1950s tardis

[Aeroaddict]

YABU. What you expected wasn't a simple roast, involving just chopping stuff and sticking it in the oven! I would have probably produced something similar to your DH. It's nothing to do with mens brains, some people are simply better at cooking than others, like with evrything else in life!

[MadeOfStarDust]

All sounds really childish to me to be honest - his turn, asking him to cook lunch - sounds like he gets treated like the kids....

(I don't "watch" potatoes roasting in an oven - I have an oven timer and a life )

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Again keeping an eye on the time is something anyone knows to do right?

So you'd check on them after 20 mins say, then ten/fifteen mins after that. Then when they are looking close to dine you wait five mins. They must have been in there two hours to be that black and burnt. You don't need to be a genius to figure out to check on the food

[Grennie]

Stardust - Presumably the OP asked him to cook lunch because he is being a lazy sod and not just taking his turn. And cooking a meal should not be beyond any NT adult.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

I'd almost put money on the fact he shoved it all on/in oven and got caught up watching tv or playing a game and forgot about it. Probably now playing the idiot to get out of what actually happened.

[doormat]

i wouldnt attempt to ..can just manage oil and water lol

my dh rorte is woodwork and electrics..i watched him hang doors, fix light fightings etc .,but i am shite..i dont know what a scart lead is for..

does that entitle dh to say.to me oh you can do the beading on the laminate today or you can rewire an extension cable..i dont know just giving examples...

partnership is based on strengths from both sides

and as for ppl mentioning instructions on packet..some of us dont buy packacked foods ..

i have a store cupboard nigella would be proud of ..i buy mostly from markets and make most things from scratch

[Itsaboatjack]

Blimey I'm amazed at the flaming the OPs getting.

It's not being superior, fussy or overly critical to expect an edible meal. As for those saying she should have done it herself . So if she wants to eat and her dc to eat she should prepare every meal?

She has already stated her dh can cook so she asked him to d

[TooOldForGlitter]

What is all this 'men don't think the same' guff?

I can't honestly believe I am reading a post which giggling declares that the DH can't turn on a hob or oven. I mean, that just isn't possible, surely? What adult does not know how to turn on an oven.

[TooOldForGlitter]

Oh and I think he did it on purpose too in the hope you would say, oh poor love his brain isn't wired the same as mine I best cook it next time. Fuck that. Practice makes perfect.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Then that's what the internet is for. God knows they can face book, twitter, play COD etc just fine.

And if meats from a super market the instructions are on the wrapper

[doormat]

hardfaced my mum was a 1960's housewife and couldnt cook to save her life..
its not a poor men gender issue at all imo..
i have a son in law who is an excellent cook but my daughter inherited her trait from her nan..shit lol