To have the rage at DH for not taking all the hints about what I would like for my birthday?

[hudyerwheesht]

I have been desperate to see Les Mis on stage since I saw the film at the start of the year and have dropped squillions of hints to DH - all of which have been about as subtle as a shower of sledgehammers - in the hope that he might surprise me with a ticket for my birthday next week.
When we have been to London(we live about an hour and a half away) I have always made a point of talking about it whilst gazing longingly at the Queens Theatre as we go past, which we always seem to do. One time I took a brochure and stuck it on my dressing table mirror where it has been ever since.
The other night I remarked that I would like to see Chicago on stage and he said "I thought it was Les Mis you wanted to see?" and I said "yes, well, obviously that's the one I'm desperate to see most of all",etc,etc.
There are about a dozen other examples but this post is long enough. Suffice to say I have been on a campaign.
He has sent a text this morning asking for "birthday ideas" and now is getting pissy because I am being vague. He's now saying "you're not helping",etc.
So despite months and months of hint-dropping (he's not one for romantic gestures so I have pratically handed him the suggestion on a plate) he is still not able to formulate the idea.
I know I could just tell him that's what I want (actually I practically have) but AIBU to just want him to think of it for himself and make the gesture and therefore be pissed off that he still hasn't?

[tinkertitonk]

Hints are manipulative. Buy it/them/whatever yourself.

[BananasInNegligees]

Oh just tell him.

I gave up on DH, I would end up with a bunch of flipping flowers every time if I left it up to him.
(I actually hate being given cut flowers, REALLY hate it)

I usually end up buying my own birthday stuff. At Christmas he gives me vouchers to go sale shopping. Except the year I got an iPad.

Sounds clinical but at least I don't feel disappointed!

[ColderThanAWitchsTitty]

he's trying to throw you off the trail perhaps?

[Beastofburden]

For example I have been desperate for a Hotel Chocolat easter egg for years now and I've never received one!!

try my approach:

"Darling, can I have a Hotel Chocolat easter egg this year PLEEEEASE. ps I want the caramel one. Thank you.xxx"

[Beastofburden]

I'd like a new top/dress for our dinner out that night - 'oh let me get you it for your brthday' sez DP. So we went in various dress shops and i wandered around holding things up to me and saying 'this is nice isn't it?'. He did not take the hint.

you see, my DH would have assumed that if i didnt say, "yes, this is the one, I'll get it, thank you for my lovely present" that I didnt like it enough to want it for my birthday.

Sheesh you enigmatic ladies are hard work

[Lilacroses]

My DP who is not a man and is incredibly thoughtful and generous sometimes gets it wrong despite HUGE hints! For example I have been desperate for a Hotel Chocolat easter egg for years now and I've never received one!! Sometimes they just get an idea in their head that something is or isn't an idea and for some unfathomable reason they ignore all your polite requests! I would go with being very direct!! Good luck! I'd love to see Les Mis too but Chicago is also brilliant.

[hudyerwheesht]

I like suggestinos too!
I was thinking about putting it on a list and hoping he would think "oh, Les Mis-she's been harping on about that all year, I'll get that!"
But I'm not hopeful. I could well be as some have said, not something he thinks of as a present. Though his mum just got me an Evita ticket and I raved about how fab a present it was and if only Les Mis would come to town,etc!
At least my rant on here has made me realise IABU a bit ()and I've downgraded from rage to mild irritation.

[Mojavewonderer]

YABU men don't do hints. Just tell him what you want or be surprised, jeez you are not a child!

[NomDeOrdinateur]

Silly question perhaps, but are you sure you've made it clear that you want TWO tickets to Les Mis, and that you regard them as a great potential present rather than just "something you'd like to do together"? He might think that buying something "shared" doesn't count as a present, so either A) he doesn't think it's suitable as a birthday present, B) he's not sure whether to buy two tickets or one, or C) he wants to get you something small as a token gift as well?

[captainmummy]

I Like suggestinos! V Italian!

I had exactly the same with dp - we were on a trip to Brighton for my birthday (i organised!) and looking round the Laines. I mentioned that I'd like a new top/dress for our dinner out that night - 'oh let me get you it for your brthday' sez DP. So we went in various dress shops and i wandered around holding things up to me and saying 'this is nice isn't it?'. He did not take the hint. We got back on the train without a single thing,and he wondered why I was so quiet!

[haggisaggis]

Is it possible that he doesn't see tickets to a musical as a present but maybe something just to be discussed and bought? I think my dh would not expect to buy tickets as a birthday present - presents to him are more things that can be wrapped up and opened.

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

suggestinos?? - suggestions

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

I once sent DH an email with various present suggestinos with photos of the items in question. He and the DC printed it out and took it to the shops and I got what I wanted not yet another bottle of hand cream / body lotion.

DH really really doesn't do hints.

[HexU]

hudyerwheesht tell him cause my mum wanted to see a musical X for years and was very obvious with DF.

DF missed every single time - if she'd come out and said I want tickets for X for my birthday this year - I still think he'd have had to be told several times but he might have been less clueless why she was upset with him. In end us - her DC got tickets but she had to wait years and DF went with her loved it and asked her why they hadn't gone before.

I tell DH - means no surprise but some of the presents over the years have been god awful so I do avoid that.

[cerealqueen]

Just tell him. Better that than seething inwardly and a wasted present.

My DP never gets anything like this though, even my emails of wished for items go forgotten. I write his hints down and follow through and he is always amazed when I come up with the goods!

[thehorridestmumintheworld]

Ha ha I liked the mafia thing.
Lets face it unless you are rich you can't take the chance of wasting your money by getting an expensive present wrong. Also maybe your dh is not the type to think of tickets to an event as a present, maybe he thinks you would like a thing.

[Branleuse]

i gave up on hints a long time ago.

If theres something specific i want as a present, I tell him thats what id like.

otherwise you invariably get something shit

[poorincashrichinlove]

YABU
Spell it out & be gracious and grateful that you get what you ask for. I tell my DH and he chooses to ignore me in favour of a -crap- surprise!

[Beastofburden]

At Christmas I save everyone much stress by handing DH a list of the books I want. DH shares it with the DC and I get a Lovely Surprise.

My father used to hand me £20 every Xmas and tell me to go and buy my mother some Chanel no 5. My mother would be waiting at the next corner saying, I dont want chanel no 5, he has given me Chanel no 5 since 1957, I want x, tell your father the shop ran out of Chanel.

It's not just your DH!

[hudyerwheesht]

oh oh I like the idea of saying "Ive been trying to tell you but it's not been clear enough",etc

And yes, its a valid point that it cant really be a surprise if Ive told him so many times. I guess I wanted him to want to surprise me based on the gazillion times Ive whined about wanting to see it.
Lesson learned = men don't do hints, nomatter how heavy or obvious.
Tsk.

[Amandine29]

I agree with you. This type of thoughtlessness really annoys me. And it's not a 'man' thing either.

[livinginwonderland]

YABU! Just tell him.

[BonaDea]

Yanbu. It is pathetic.

I have given up and now just ask for what I would like. I actually ask for more expensive things than I would normally expect simply to make up for the lack of ingenuity on his part. E.g. I've asked for. £300 Barbour jacket for my birthday. I wouldn't normally expect him to spend as much but he's happy as he's not in trouble and I'm happy because I get something fab I wouldn't otherwise buy.

I'm thinking of asking for diamond stud earrings for xmas!

[quoteunquote]

Buy the tickets yourself.

I banned anyone buying me presents years ago, then if there is anything I want, I buy it, that way I always get what I want when I want, and never have to put up with unwanted gifts.

I need and want very little, and hate waste.