my friend is jetting off to new york with her dh this morning and her 2 dcs are being looked after for the week by grandparents
this will never happen for me and dh. even though our dparents are relatively young (under 60) as MIL is a selfish arse who rarely babysits and then only for DD, as DS is not her proper grandchild (he is from my previous relationship, therefore she is not interested :( ) yet she constantly babysits her DP's GC who is not her bio GC (this whole MIL story, in itself, is a long story) and my parents both work full time and are not that keen on babysitting for more than a few hours at a time or at a push if we are desperate, overnight. but my mum has a knack of making me feel guilty about it and like a child again when i have to ask her.
we are having DC3 in april and babysitting will become even more scarce as who will want to look after 3 dcs?
aibu to be massively jealous a bit envious of the lucky lucky jammy bastards parents who have loads of babysitting options?
i wouldnt change having my dcs for anything but sometimes i would love a break
AIBU?
to be Well Jealous of those with lots of family support ie Babysitting??
mistyshouse · 10/10/2013 09:17
RiffyWammal you put it well: who are these people whose response is to assume it's people looking for a freebie and indignant that they can't have it? 
It's a horrible way to see people.
And you are so right about the link to an earlier time. It's a link to people, too, stories about their mums and dads and brothers and sisters. I can't pass on a character sketch of my MIL as a young girl in a different country: but she could if she wanted to. I really mourn the loss of the link (on dc's behalf).
Plus, it always hurts when someone, anyone, dislikes your child enough to forget to ask about them...never mind never wanting to spend the time, just a little 'How is dc getting along?' might be nice.
This reply has been deleted
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Wow, haven't read all the thread bit from what I've seen, I am in the minority.
I am thankful we live 100's of miles from either set of GP's.
When I used to take my lo's to play areas I always felt extremely sorry for the GP's who looked worn out and quite frankly bored. I used to meet up with one couple and 'mind' their GD whilst they sat and had a brew and a chat. The GM said she was between a rock and a hard place, loved her GD but didn't love having her everyday. Daren't say anything to her daughter in case she took the hump.
Jetting off on holiday without the kids is a whole different thing, it wouldn't be for me. I didn't have kids to exclude them from fun times, thankfully DH is of the same mind 
Apologies as I haven't read the whole thread but I think a distinction needs to be drawn between what is actually being asked of gp - childcare/babysitting or input into gc lives. It is disingenuous to accuse gp of not being involved with gc because they won't babysit or facilitate weekends away (which in my experience is pretty rare).
I have a great relationship with my mum - she sees the gc all thee time, but it is on her terms and I am nearly always there - she loves seeing me parenting my kids and that dynamic is v special in my eyes. I get companionship and to share her brilliant relationship with my kids - a huge help in itself - and she doesn't have the stress of looking after 3 ds on her own. Nobody feels resentful. Yes I haven't had a weekend away without kids for 7 years ( and ds 3 had to sit on my lap for a tooth extraction on wed
) as she won't do that kind of childcare, but her input is still enormously valuable.
In summary (after that incoherent ramble) I think it is v unfair to judge gp worth on how much they will take your kids off your hands.
I'm another that doesn't have any sort. Both sets of GPs had a sahm and tonnes of help with babysitting for marvellous social lives when we were small. They also help with some GC but not others. I'm deeply hurt and angry but their lack of support. I'm mostly deeply sad that they show no interest in my kind, funny ds, except in an abstract picture on the mantelpiece kind of way.
I've spent at least £40k for childcare so far and I am an exhausted mess. I couldn't care less if they find it hard to look after my dsis children full time, its not me they need to talk to. I have nothing financially physically or emotionally left over for them. Our siblings with all the help can repay them by looking after them in their old age. They have shown me how not to be a gp.
for all those that think you have a child, you bring them up without any support from parents (practical and / or emotional). A few hours a year is not it too much to expect.
for my ds`s GPs for not taking any interest in their GC.
for my employer for not understanding we don't have ANY support despite trying. How fantastic that your ILs stay over two nights a week, so they can look after your girls whilst your DW works. How lovely they they took them home with them for three weeks when they had chicken pox. Your girls must have a lovely relationship with their GPs. When ds had
I don't do the school run, child minders are full and we both work full time an hour away from home. If I had time to cultivate a support network, I wouldn't need one.
something. Ds was supposed to have packed lunch yesterday, (he usually has school dinners). I totally forgot and sent him to school without lunch. I was out from 7:20am until 6:50pm. I feel 
that I forgot and 
at that I only realised this morning when he asked for extra dinner money.
Nothing is more important than my ds but I'm finding juggling it all hard. We are watching Cartoon Network and are planning a lovely afternoon. I've overcompensated by making him bacon on toast instead of cereal for breakfast. It's all good now but a small about of practical support would make a massive difference.
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I had to give birth to DC4 alone (a rather nerve racking VBAC of a large baby after a previous neonatal death) as DH had to stay at home with the other DCs because we had no one to look after them. He asked one SIL (unmarried, no DC) but she was 'too busy'.
I was not aware that my mother and stepfather had started travelling to us (5 hour trip), or were going to, when DH told them I was in hospital. They actually arrived at a local hotel long before I gave birth with no word at all. They came round the next after I was out of hospital and stayed for 15 minutes without so much as having a cup of tea or holding DC4 before going off to visit my sister and her DC who they have practically brought up and financially supported for years (also cleared all Dsis's debts).
I can count on one hand how many times they've had my DC and the oldest is 16! My siblings have never babysat despite me constantly babysitting my sister's DCs when I was a teen. One sister used to whine at my mum to 'make me' if I said I had something else on and she did 
.
They don't see my DCs at all now.
DH's parents are abroad and will not babysit even for an hour while we visit for once a year as they're 'too old' and SILs won't let them. SILs have never babysat either despite us having their DCs for weeks at a time when they were younger. I won't have them now.
Damn right I am fucking jealous and YDNBU!
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