To be surprised to have a male health visitor?

[PeriodFeatures]

Just that really! I wondered what other people think?

[Ilovemyself]

Midnite. What do you do if there is no option?

[Grennie]

I agree scribbler. There is actually 1 female GP in my practice I would not talk to about intimate things as she is so brusque. So I would never book an appointment with her to talk about these - as I know I would probably end up not going. I have the right not to see her as well.

And we already have the situation were many people do not mention "embarassing" things to their GP or nurse like incontinence, painful penetrative sex, etc. Why would we want to make it harder for people to get the healthcare they need?

I have always found the best Drs and nurses understand this.

[Grennie]

myself - I know you have no issue being treated by a woman or man. But I am kind of shocked at your total lack of empathy

[Binkyridesagain]

I do hope that you are not a HCP myself.

[Ilovemyself]

Sorry midnite. What I suppose I am rather clumsily saying is why should it bother a person other than previous experience or good old Victorian values about ones body.

I am not saying that you need to disclose a full detailed reason why you have refused them but your reason of just because you don't like them or don't click is ludicrous.

There is a GP at my surgery who I would rather not see because I dont like his manner. But if it is an appointment with that doctor or wait I will see them.

[BoffinMum]

If you don't like male HVs and midwives, etc, what would you do if you developed a rare condition and needed an internationally excellent specialist surgeon for the condition, who statistically speaking would be highly likely to be male? Would you object or would you think 'It's life or death time, let's do this'?

[Morloth]

We don't need segregated healthcare. Just a little respect will do.

The vast majority of people won't mind either way.

For the minority who do, it isn't such a big ask.

Assuming there are both genders available then what is the point of forcing someone to be touched against their will?

[Grennie]

Mum - I think we all accept there are times when we have to see a male Dr. But when it is cervical smears, internals, breastfeeding support, etc - these are all important but routine procedures. So no, it is not comparable.

[Ilovemyself]

Grennie. I have empathy for those that have a valid reason. Abuse of any sort is the obvious one. But just because you don't want the opposite sex see your body is so Victorian. They are professionals doing a professional job

[MidniteScribbler]

Midnite. What do you do if there is no option?

It wouldn't bother me. I don't actually care whether I'm treated by a male or female. But I respect the rights of other women to choose who treats them.

I think people should just chill out and be relaxed about their bodies

Are you kidding me? People should just get over it? What about a women of a certain faith who are not permitted to be seen by a male? Should they just get over it or not be treated? Do you know how many patients (male or female) would rather die than be treated by a person of the opposite sex? There are women who would be not permitted to seek medical treatment by their husbands if they were to be treated by a male. So many illnesses or even abuse could be missed if they were not permitted to choose their own doctor.

Your total lack of empathy astounds me. I really hope you are not working in the health field. It really scares me.

[Grennie]

You are taking it upon yourself to decide what is a valid reason then?

[Ilovemyself]

Morloth. I agree. But it seems the vast majority of people here do want to be able to see a doctor based on their sex so I don't think the vast majority do not mind either way

[Writerwannabe83]

I think there is a difference between having your body looked at by a male and having your body touched by a male.

[Ilovemyself]

Midnite. If someone's husband does not let them speak to a male doctor that's a whole different issue. An personally I disagree with any faith that makes a female a second class system. And therefore says who should and shouldn't see them.

But yes, I do think it is sad that people can't behave rationally about a hcp dping their job purely based on the grounds that they don't want a man seeing their womanly bits ( or vice versa)

[Grennie]

Rationally??

Have you actually noticed the society we live in?

[Ilovemyself]

Writerwannabe. I see your point, but they are still just a person doing a job.

[BoffinMum]

This stuff is awkward but people need to fret less.

An aside -

When I last saw my male gynae, he was checking how my ladygarden repair was healing, and a female nurse was asked to step forward and hold my flaps back so he could get a good view of his repair work.

The nurse did this very professionally until I said, 'Blimey, and we haven't even had dinner yet!' at which point we both cackled with laughter.

The Very Proper male gynae was vair disapproving, because he was being all professional and proper.

[ethelb]

Gosh attitudes on MN are strange. Dont worry if your partner who you thought was a woman used to be a boy, but god forbid if you have a male health visitor

I do agree that some women have serious issues with male health professionals. But a lot of women on here seem intent to let their own bigotry influence their behaviour towards drs. It is not ok.

[Ilovemyself]

Ethelb. Exactly.

[MidniteScribbler]

An personally I disagree with any faith that makes a female a second class system.

Whether YOU agree with it or not is completely irrelevant. What is relevant is that vulnerable women may miss out on vital medical care if your "just get over it" were actually a valid reason for denying any patient the choice in who treats them.

[Writerwannabe83]

During my nurse training and since qualifying I have on many occasions been but in a position of carrying out a potentially embarrassing procedure for a male and I always ask them if they are happy for me to do it or would they prefer a male? It works both ways and I would never feel offended if a male felt uncomfortable about me doing it.

[Binkyridesagain]

How do you know it is their own bigotry without asking them?

When you ask someone why, you tend to want an explanation for an answer. Many people do not want to give that explanation.

[Grennie]

I hate having cervical smears. Triuthfully if I was asked why I wanted a female nurse to do it, I would just walk away. I want to be treated like an individual by someone who has some empathy. Not someone who just thinks everyone should think as they do.

[Ilovemyself]

Yes midnite. I am saying they should be refused care! Read what you want into it. I have said vunerable people need to be protected. But those who make a decision based on their Victorian attitude to their body are rather sad.

My children will be taught to have respect for their bodies and to understand that when it comes to things like healthcare the person looking after them is fine, regardless of sex. The trouble is, how many people reinforce the attitude of females shouldn't see male medics for female problems ( or vice versa) buy their own prejudices.

[ethelb]

Binky the problem is that people who have just allowed a v victorian attitude to their body to develop pretend their needs are as serious as someone with a history of abuse.

However it is naive to assume that avoiding men in a medical setting will minimise the chances of being abused. It is a very narrow view. And actually the numbers on here suggest it is an acceptable bigotry.