To not let my children go trick or treating

[Nolikeythespookey]

I really dislike trick or treating. It is not a British thing - it is a new thing from America and I think it's greedy and intrusive. I don't want my kids going to strangers doors and essentially saying 'give us sweets or we'll do something bad to you'. I think it's horrible manners and not even necessarily safe. I don't think children need a big bucket of 'candy' either.

My kids have been young enough to discourage this so far, but this year one has been invited out trick or treating with friends. I've said we have other plans. He's 6. When they get a bit older and are more aware of the whole thing I won't let them feel left out and will grudgingly allow them to go (with an adult) but I really, really hate this stupid non tradition.

We did used to have 'guising' on hallowe'en in the UK, where kids/guisers had to do a 'party piece/turn' to earn their treat, and I think that's a much nicer thing - bit of give and take and no demanding/threatening from the kids, plus the treat could easily be 20p or an apple.

[IamChristmas]

But that might be because I am Christmas :) we are not natural bedfellows

[Donkeyok]

We loved it when we lived in London. Every year the street would be buzzing with groups of dc lead by parents some myself included in costume. It was wonderful for my dc to see the neighbourhood they lived in in a different light. They got to enjoy the decorations and beautiful carved pumpkin lanterns. Neighbours rewarded childrens' effort in costume with sweet treats. I have this wonderful bowl full of sweets which I press a switch and a plastic hand grabs the kids hand in the bowl. The absolutely love it. One year a couple transformed their house with smoke machine, speakers eerie noises and absolutely terrified us - brilliant. There was never any threat from these little children only once did some older boys (without costume) knock on the door. We just told them they were too old and handn't made any effort (coz they were trying it on). I miss the community buzz now were out in the sticks.

[BeCool]

I learnt in MN it's an old Scottish tradition - so stop the American bashing!!

My dd loved it. She is 5. It is nearly better than Xmas for her.

We go quite local where lots of houses are decorated with people really getting into it. We only go to decorated houses. It's fun.

It's dress up, it's night time fun ( at 6pm), you get treats. As far as children are concerned what's not to like? (I enjoy it too)

[FixItUpChappie]

Some of you Brits just don't understand how glorious and fun Halloween can be. You haven't experienced it they way it was when I was a kid.....every house decorated with beautiful pumpkins, candle-lit witches, friendly ghosts - fun not gory crap. nearly every house participated and all the kids were out. No begging (for pity sake) - just the friendly call of "trick or treat"......I've never been threatened with a trick in my life by the way.

At my house my parents would do crafts with us in the lead up, we'd do the pumpkin carving, roast the shells, watch family-friendly Halloween cartoons, tell stories and yes eat a bit of candy (like your kids never eat any candy!). My mom would make our costumes....it was just a lot of fun.

Now I happen to think that Halloween has been hijacked by drunken uni students in brothel-like outfits. The decorations are largely gory, tacky and inappropriate for children. the whole thing makes me very sad. I try my best to recreate what I can of Halloween past for my own kids.

I just want to paint you a picture of how it was and could be.....not just some horrible, crass, fat, greedy North American thing

There! My annual defence of Halloween post

[Somethingpink]

Halloween is great..dd was born on nov 1st so she has a giant halloween party for her birthday every year

Everyone gets dressed up, we decorate all the house(even cover walls in black bags so it's all dark), make lots of warm winter food, dance to halloween music and have the best time

Dc even go to the neighbours trick or treating.

Dd2 is to be born on the 29th October and she will have a joint birthday with her sister on Halloween.

Dd absolutely loves it, she is 5 and she thinks it's the best (she even claims to be a real vampire bride). This year she really wants to dress up as Sally from her favourite film of all time the nightmare before Christmas but I can't find her a costume

Halloween is great and I'm in the uk

[HerRoyalNotness]

I don't like the meaning behind Halloween so will not celebrate it. However this year we are in the US, i'll have to out a polite note on the apartment door to prevent knockers perhaps. However I imagine i will let DS dress up for school, if that is the custom, so he doesn't stand out like a sore, little thumb.

[mumbaisapphire]

Agree with Fixitupchappie, that the perception of Halloween in the UK is just wrong! I'm a Brit living in Canada and prior to moving here I was pretty indifferent to it. Never really trick or treated as a kid, but did the odd Halloween party etc and would give out sweets to kids that came knocking, but never dressed up or even stuck a pumpkin outside. My first Halloween in Canada, I was totally bowled over by how lovely it was and how the whole neighbourhood embraced it. Where I am people start decorating their homes and front lawns here in early October, and they really go to town. On the evening itself it is VERY obvious which houses are participating and which aren't, but most do. Those that are usually have an adult (in costume of course) out on the front porch handing out sweets, and they do so happily. It doesn't remotely feel like begging at all. It is a lovely family occasion and the streets are packed out with the whole families accompanying their kids out and about.

I think we Brits can be very snippy sometimes about North American things, but when it comes to Halloween they definitely do it better and sadly most peoples perception of it as an intimidating begging exercise could not be further from how it is over here. I hope those of you who enjoy it and are lucky to live in little communities that embrace it, have a fantastic evening.

[MistressDeeCee]

I let my DCs go trick or treating once, when they were younger. Along a small street, with their good friends, where all neighbours new each other. I still wasnt happy about it though but I didnt want to spoil their fun - I let them go as all their friends were doing it, they got into all the hype about costumes etc. I think they also did it the following year, then seemed to forget about it. Im glad they did - I cant stand it, a 'tradition' from The States that Im totally uninterested in; just another pointless hype to get children into, & get their parents to spend yet more money.

If it wasnt on a small street at the time Id never have let my DCs do it, Id have been far too worried about their safety, you never know who's door theyre knocking/what people will be like. I dont like the meaning behind it either. mumbaisapphire I dont see anyone bothering to decorate their homes etc over here, so wouldnt even be able to tell who's into it & who isnt. I dont see it as a begging exercise, however..just not something I feel should be actively promoted to children and the going from door to door on a dark winter's evening really concerns me

[BlingBang]

Guess if you never grew up with it as a child you probably don't get it. It is so much fun and excitement when you are little, it really was a huge deal. Why not just cancel Christmas as well, it's not necessary, too much money spent, too much food and crap consumed, has lost much of the original meaning. But you probably do Christmas as you loved it as a child - just like Halloween for many of us.

[Toadinthehole]

I did trick or treating in London in the early 80s. So it's hardly a "new thing from America". Even then, I wasn't at all aware that it was imported.

Hallowe'en, at least, isn't an import. This is from The Language and Lore of Schoolchildren by Iona and Peter Opie, first published 1959:

"When darkness closes in on the vigil of All Saints' Day, Britain has the appearance of a land inhabited by two nations with completely different cultural backgrounds . The difference is between those to whom Hallowe'en means nothing and those to whom it is 'one of the most enjoyable days in the year' . The frontier between these two peoples appears, in the second half of the twentieth century, to run from somewhere around the mouth of the Humber south west to Knighton, and then soutwards along the Welsh border, counting Monmouthshire with Wales, and then - although this is less certain - south again through Dorset."

There is mention of various games such as those mentioned above, and also guising. Guising is described in some places as innocent, and in other places not really any different from trick or treating ("in Sutherland and Caithness, Hallowe'en is also Mischief Night").

Trick or treating itself is mentioned only as an American custom.

Mischief Night sounds like trick-or-treating for adults, excepts the tricks are criminal vandalism and there are no treats. Is it still .. err.. observed anywhere?

[fuzzpig]

Marking place... As I do every year on these identical threads :o

[MrsBW]

Why are (some) people being so rude towards people who express a dislike for trick or treating?

[pixiepotter]

we live in a 'naice' small village.Kids only call at houses with a halloween lantern .It is really fun .Lots of families really go to town with the decorating and some put on a halloween 'tour' where you have to retrieve eyeballs from jelly -that kind of thing.It is a lovely village occasion

[KatyTheCleaningLady]

MrsBW, probably because (some) people express their disapproval in rather rude ways.

[ghostonthecanvas]

Bit annoying to be reminded that this thread starts every year. Some if us are new. Isn't it normal to have a build up to annual events? Tradition even. Same as in real life when the kids get excited and plan birthdays etc weeks before the actual day.

[KatyTheCleaningLady]

I am new! but not to english moaning about Halloween. It makes me laugh.

[MadeOfStarDust]

I dislike it - not because it is a "new American thing" or because it is "demanding sweets with menaces" .....

but because it is yet another commercialised day week month of crap...

[KatyTheCleaningLady]

To be honest, other than the candy, I never really loved Halloween. (I am American.) I find fancy dress a huge PITA and just don't care about it.

[MrsBW]

MrsBW, probably because (some) people express their disapproval in rather rude ways.

So, let me get this straight. Some people feel intimidated by trick or treating. Some people have had physical damage caused to their houses by some trick or treaters.

And they're being called names?

By grown adults?

Really?

[BecauseYoureGorgeous]

Sweets rot your teeth.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Fixitupchappie - I love your post in defence of Halloween!

[WeileWeileWaile]

I love Hallowe'en but find the idea of Guy Fawkes night really distasteful - I should start a thread every year about that

[BlingBang]

Never used to be commercialised though. Folk made their own costumes, carried a plastic bag and just bought in some apples and nuts. Everything has got more commercialised, we just have more money these days.

[MakeHayIsAWhaleNow]

I don't mind children trick or treating, don't like the idea of the trick bit but my two like to join in so we go treat-or-treating....we make things and take them round to our neighbours, no need to give anything back but it's nice to meet them! Took a bit of explaining last year, but hopefully will do it again.

Sorry if that sounds smug, it's just my way of trying to find a balance given that Halloween is everywhere now and my two (4 and 2) love dressing up....

[GooseyLoosey]

I love it. I live in a largeish village and last year had over 100 people come round (and that was in driving rain). I am from the US so my house is always [over] decorated and all the local kids love coming to it. Already thinking about the possibility of cardboard grave stones on the drive!

If you have a lit pumpkin you're in, if you don't you're left alone. No tricks played. Even the local pub welcomes the children in.

It's a great community event.