To not let my children go trick or treating

[Nolikeythespookey]

I really dislike trick or treating. It is not a British thing - it is a new thing from America and I think it's greedy and intrusive. I don't want my kids going to strangers doors and essentially saying 'give us sweets or we'll do something bad to you'. I think it's horrible manners and not even necessarily safe. I don't think children need a big bucket of 'candy' either.

My kids have been young enough to discourage this so far, but this year one has been invited out trick or treating with friends. I've said we have other plans. He's 6. When they get a bit older and are more aware of the whole thing I won't let them feel left out and will grudgingly allow them to go (with an adult) but I really, really hate this stupid non tradition.

We did used to have 'guising' on hallowe'en in the UK, where kids/guisers had to do a 'party piece/turn' to earn their treat, and I think that's a much nicer thing - bit of give and take and no demanding/threatening from the kids, plus the treat could easily be 20p or an apple.

[Wibblypiglikesbananas]

My mum didn't like us doing it when I was a child as she saw it as begging. Eventually, she relented a little and we were able to dress up and call at select houses (eg friends who knew to expect us).

I now live in the US, where it is a much bigger celebration than the UK, though that's not to say it originates from here. I just think the Americans make it a much more commercial event. My neighbours have been putting pumpkins outside their doors for 3!!! weeks now and the shops are full of costumes, cards and candy. It's traditional to go to a local pumpkin patch and pick your own - a bit like fruit picking but on a grand scale.

I've noticed costumes here are different. In the UK it used to be 'go as something spooky', so a ghost or witch. Here, people tend to dress up as anything - so more fancy dress than anything linked with the traditional All Hallows Eve concept.

The other thing I've noticed here is that Halloween can become a night of violence. Two years ago a man was murdered in a local restaurant on Halloween, last year various muggings took place - local teenagers were targetted for their iPhones.

If you turn off your porch light in my street, that signals that you don't want to be called on and most people respect that.

[justanuthermanicmumsday]

It's not got same festive feel as in the USA though has it. In the USA the streets and houses are decked with decorations looks pretty amazing, must have cost a packet too. I could understand kids over there wanted to join in or feeling peer pressure to. But In the uk they're even behind with amazing costumes so I don't see the appeal. it's not as popular and I doubt it will ever take off.

[ThePuffyShirt]

I was pretty anti until I accompanied a group of my son & his friends one Hallowe'en, as part of a party.

They had such tremendous fun. We only called at houses where pumpkins were lit, and the householders had gone to great effort with bowls of slimy spaghetti for the kids to root for sweets in, scary costumes & props.

It is only for little kids though. We're having a party & they are 11, too old really so it will be the last one.

[sweetestcup]

So dont do it. Your kids will survive. And for every person like you who really hates it theres someone like me, who loves it! We do the decorating works, house and garden including a talking butler and a graveyard in the front garden. Our kids, and all the local kids love it. Have a smoke machine and I make Halloween cookies and cakes to hand out and we have a buffet afterwards. My DS is 11 and will probably be his last year dressing up so will make the most of it!!

[Pancakeflipper]

UC - it is like that on our little street ( we also do Christmas things together like lights in the trees and have a carol sing song). If you have a pumpkin then you are available for goodies. And only between the hours of 6 to 8pm. Then us neighbours gather for hot chocolate a cookie together and goodnight.

Fingers crossed never had any problems.

[sheldor]

I had over 16 rings on the door last year.I personally don't mind,i love halloween but i can see how it can be itimidating especially for the elderly

[Pancakeflipper]

Soverylucky - I would hate it too in your situation.

I think that is the difference. It sounds menacing for you whereas it's just silly fun and an excuse for our street to get together.

[Stillhopingstillhere]

I don't mind when it's little ones accompanied by a parent, less keen if it is older ones.
I do think it can be threatening for people on their own or elderly people. My gran is 93 and she hates it, again not the little ones but the older ones. Large groups of teenagers knocking on the door after dark and shouting can't be nice if you're on your own and really really old!

[bludgerwitch]

I'm always disappointed when I don't get kids at my door We live out in the boonies and I actually go up to my MiL's for Halloween so I can decorate and get Trick & Treaters to the door!

[lizzzyyliveson]

Snap SelectAUserName. Do you remember singing this? "The sky is blue, the grass is green, can we have a penny for Halloween? If you haven't got a penny a ha' penny will do, if you haven't got a ha' penny God Bless You!" All sung while swinging a hollowed-out turnip lantern at the neighbours. That was the 70s in the NE, so definitely nothing to do with American imports.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Our neighbours' children come guising (we live in Scotland) - they tell a joke or sing a song to earn their sweets. As far as I am aware, they only go to people they know, and their parents go with them - so they aren't going to strangers' houses, nor do they ever behave badly.

That said, I am not a fan of trick or treating, if it does involve going to strangers' houses and/or making them feel intimidated.

Nolikey - can I suggest you do what we used to do when our boys were younger - host a Halloween party, with the traditional games like bobbing for apples, and other games you could adapt to be more Halloween. It could be a costume party, and I bet there are other parents who, like you, don't want their children to go trick or treating, who would be happy to help supervise, or maybe contribute some party food.

I also used to find that the boys enjoyed being allowed to answer the door to the trick or treaters and giving out the sweets.

I may be wrong, but in some areas, I believe that a carved pumpkin lantern on the doorstep is the accepted sign that trick or treaters are welcome to call, and its absence means please don't call. If that caught on everywhere, I think it would really help.

[PlumpkinPie]

We live in the country and don't have a door bell, so far so good for no trick or treaters you'd think but no, their parents will drive their kids around to knock on every door or window for sweets!!!
Our kids have been t or t'ing when invited to do so with friends who live in a housing estate and in that case it's the houses with decorations or lit pumpkins that are targeted called on. they loved it but most of their loot was re-donated to the school christmas party. No harm when done sensitively and only the night of Oct 31st!!!

[Nolikeythespookey]

I'm sorry my thread bored some of you - I don't hang out here often enough to see yearly themes come up!

I did say it's from Scotland, but guising is not trick or treating. Guising is doing a song/poem for a treat and trick or treating is threatening to do something bad to someone unless they give you money/sweets.

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I also find the whole grave/zombie/witch/death theme macabre and not very suitable for children.

Also, perhaps some of you have seen some 'great costumes' but I have mostly seen shiny costumes purchased from Sainsburys/Asda.

[shoofly]

Enough of the American import rubbish. I have great memories of my mum hollowing out a swede (always referred to as a turnip when we were kids) & as a Brownie leader she always did turnips for the Brownie party as well. I'm 42 & we were trick or treating long before we ever saw ET or the 1980's

[HeySoulSister]

Oh come on! Op was trying to be all original and different by going against the grain.... Indulge her with lots of 'ooh,hadn't thought of that' and 'op, you are absolutely right, well done'

[HopeForTheBest]

I am over 40, from London, and we did it as kids. It is not new. It may have become more commercialised (along with Easter, Christmas etc etc) but has most definitely been around for a long, long time.

But OP, YANBU if you don't want to let your kids go trick or treating. It's up to you.

[SugarHut]

I love Halloween. We have a massive party most years, costumes, decorate the house, apple bobbing, fireworks.

Trick or treaters however, can piss off. Intrusive begging and nothing more.

From the outside you can't see anything Halloweeny, and if the party is held the night before/after the "night" itself, then I am permanently interrupted by these beggers while I'm trying to frantically prepare/tidy up.

I wish this no pumpkin thing was common knowledge.

If you want to go, feel free. But I am fed up of being harassed for free junk food for children to gorge on. My DS (5) has never been, and never will. I encourage him to enjoy Halloween, the party is fantastic, but over my dead body is he going begging for cake and sweets. Plain embarassing.

[HeySoulSister]

Yeah, trick or treating is the same.... Outs usually tell a joke or something in return for the 'treat'

[wigglybeezer]

You might not be so keen on party pieces when you have heard the same bad jokes over and over, not to mention a "tune" with many verses on the chanter at every house you trail round in the freezing cold.

Guising is alive and well, unfortunately for me ...

Definitely not an American import etc. ....

I'm sure Alec Salmond gets a few more votes every time there is one of these threads.

[ghostonthecanvas]

I love guising and I am almost 50. Been doing it as long as I can remember. My mum still does it with her friends. My kids did it and the youngsters in our village still do it. Everyone takes part and it was common for the older kids to be out past midnight setting traps and hiding gates and other trickery. Halloween runs like this- little ones out guising at 5pm. Older ones out by 7pm then adults 9pm onwards. Mixed ages at any time.The aim for the adults is to get around all the houses, alcohol and for no one to guess who they are in real life. All this has been going on for at least 80 years.

[imnotwhoyouthinkiam]

Our local pub does a fab Halloween party the sat nearest to Halloween. Apple bobbing, pumpkin carving competition, make a mummy (aka wrap my step dad in toilet roll) and other fun. Free entry (they make money in the bar) and loads of free sweets (as prizes for practically anything) for the dc. We love it.

i hate trick or treating though