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AIBU?

To not let my children go trick or treating

215 replies

Nolikeythespookey · 01/10/2013 18:26

I really dislike trick or treating. It is not a British thing - it is a new thing from America and I think it's greedy and intrusive. I don't want my kids going to strangers doors and essentially saying 'give us sweets or we'll do something bad to you'. I think it's horrible manners and not even necessarily safe. I don't think children need a big bucket of 'candy' either.

My kids have been young enough to discourage this so far, but this year one has been invited out trick or treating with friends. I've said we have other plans. He's 6. When they get a bit older and are more aware of the whole thing I won't let them feel left out and will grudgingly allow them to go (with an adult) but I really, really hate this stupid non tradition.

We did used to have 'guising' on hallowe'en in the UK, where kids/guisers had to do a 'party piece/turn' to earn their treat, and I think that's a much nicer thing - bit of give and take and no demanding/threatening from the kids, plus the treat could easily be 20p or an apple.

OP posts:
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ToysRLuv · 09/10/2013 00:30

We did wonder whether a pound was too puny, but only had a ten pound note or that.. Also, we were a bit stunned. Never had any trick or treaters before or since. Luckily the building had a concierge service, so the poor guy on duty had to lift it from the carpet. The smell lingered for days, if not weeks.

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TheInquisitor · 09/10/2013 00:12

Oh, FFS, for ToysRLuv that is absolutely disgusting. Therein lies why I don't ever celebrate Halloween.
It's prone to absolute fuckwits dumping in corridors just because they deemed it not acceptable to share a pound coin. Hmm
What the fuck's wrong with offering money? Entitled little shits running around expecting bucket loads of sweets, chocolate and possible money (sizeable money, no errant pound coins Hmm ) is what puts me off.
Nope, you've re-inforced my view trick or treating is a load of bollocks. (Needed it tonight.)

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ToysRLuv · 09/10/2013 00:02

When we lived on the 4th floor of a building, we were very surprised to get some teenagers "trick or treating" one year. We decided to believe they were genuine 8despite not wearing any costumes), but didn't have any sweets in the house, so DH gave the three of them a pound coin to share. They then asked for a tissue and DH gave them one. A bit later while taking the bins out, DH noticed one of them had taken a huge dump in the corridor and wiped their arse with the tissue.

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Lilacroses · 08/10/2013 22:25

I used to feel like that OP but then a few years ago I took my Dd to a little Halloween party and on the way home we noticed that people in the surrounding streets were practically standing on their doorsteps begging my Dd to come and visit them to take some sweets! I realised that lots of people close to where I live love it and if they don't they don't put a pumpkin outside. I agree that just randomly wandering around banging on doors isn't good though.

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Cutitup · 08/10/2013 22:20

I know people who don't let their kids participate for religious reasons.

Other than that, go with the flow. I used to love it as a kid. Sweets!

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WhiteCandyman · 08/10/2013 21:51

Wow, there are a lot of nasty old bimbos on here. You treat your kids like garbage and brag about it.

British have such bad teeth anyway, what would some candy at Halloween hurt?

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NK493efc93X1277dd3d6d4 · 04/10/2013 10:58

I agree totally, however once kids are of school age they will clamour to go. However they never go with tricks as the etiquette is that houses where they are welcome display pumpkins and these are the only doors they will knock on.

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Vagndidit · 04/10/2013 09:22

Let's see...

"Sanctioned begging?"--check
"Import from America?"--check
"Horrified to allow my children to participate?"--check

Must be October!

For the record, the British version of Halloween is crap compared to the American. For that reason alone I'd be tempted to give it a miss. But I want DS to remember he IS American and shouldn't be ashamed to celebrate traditions from home while stuck in England living abroad.

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Toadinthehole · 04/10/2013 08:55

Hallowe'en has been observed even in parts of England for centuries - just not in the south-east or the Midlands. Not trick or treating through. It's also an old Scottish custom. It is odd, however, that Hallowe'en hasn't traditionally been observed in NZ, Australia or South Africa, despite all those places having disproportionately large emigration from Scotland and Ireland. In NZ, where I live, everyone seems to regard it as an American commercial import, and it really does seem that the emigrants simply didn't take this particular custom with them. I am pretty ho hum about Hallowe'en and Bonfire Night, chiefly because no one knows anything much at all about the history and significance of the festivals, and as a result they are completely anodyne. Hallowe'en is chiefly a few kids dressed up in spooky costumes and Bonfire Night consists of a few people letting off identical fireworks.

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trixymalixy · 03/10/2013 18:55

I totally understand why people don't like it.I wasn't that keen when I lived in the city and didn't know any of my neighbours. It's a whole lot different when you know all your neighbours and it's a community event and you know all the kids.

My main gripe is the people that say they don't like it because it's "not British", when what they really mean is not English, forgetting that other parts of the UK celebrated it long before the Americans did.

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CorrieDale · 03/10/2013 18:46

It isn't just an American thing! My family are Irish and we always trick or treated or had a Halloween party. I'm 46 so it was aeons ago!

My DC will be trick or treating this year with some friends, with me in the background wishing I had the guts to dress up too. They've always had a party but have chosen this year to trick or treat instead. Both are very excited!

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farewellfigure · 03/10/2013 18:16

Our village is Halloween mad which was a surprise when we moved here. We went out for the first time last year. I only let DS dress up as something cute rather than scary. We went out in a massive group of about 15 children. We only knocked on doors where the other mums (who have been doing it for years) knew that the owners participate. Some of the houses looked AMAZING!

We're probably going to be away this year and I'll quite miss it! It was a real eye-opener

Sadly, we live down a little lane, so despite putting a lit pumpkin at the top, we didn't get any callers Sad

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randomAXEofkindness · 03/10/2013 15:03

I don't like door knockers in general

I love door knockers, with the obvious exclusion of bailiffs. Although, a woman knocked recently asking for directions and actually ended up telling me she was busy and would have to go! Cheeky git. I bet she doesn't like Trick or Treaters either.

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AintNobodyGotTimeFurThat · 03/10/2013 14:52

It's up to the parent, I think.

I am not the biggest fan on it, as it seems a bit forced to me.

But have no problems with horror athons if you are a teenager/young adult or something similar.

I just don't like begging strangers for things.

I don't like door knockers in general, unless I am expecting a parcel.

I probably could make an exception though for a 2 year old ghost :)

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landofmakebelieve · 03/10/2013 14:46

Nope, I hate it here too, and mine don't go trick or treating either even though they'd probably love too
We have a 'spooky tea' instead which we brought in as a Halloween tradition when they were tiny (so we weren't ignoring it completely and it would be something fun for them to do and take their mind off trick or treating when older Grin )
I wrote ranted about Halloween the other year, in fact...
castawaywithdreams.wordpress.com/2011/10/17/no-i-dont-celebrate-halloween/

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EmeraldJeanie · 03/10/2013 14:40

Have not read whole thread..
Don't like it but have sweets in for the hoards that knock on door. My 2 do the neighbours and next ones down= 4 houses. My oldest grumbles and does the 'But everyone...' bit..

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squoosh · 03/10/2013 14:39

You fuck off. Smile

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thebody · 03/10/2013 14:38

no it's a PITA and I am not going to constantly be opening my door and letting in the cold to give some kid a sweet.

fuck that. my kids were never allowed to and didn't want to.

it's as bloody annoying as carol singers. fuck off

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MadeOfStarDust · 03/10/2013 14:36

so because I don't like trick or treating or baby showers - and not weddings per-se - but wedding lists do make it in there.... I "don't like other people's happiness" ..... sheesh....

I just don't like things which have become commercialised - lets-spend-shedloads-of-money-on-crap fests -

I don't happen to partake... but you do what you like - it might help the economy recover I suppose....

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2tiredtocare · 03/10/2013 14:28

We were never allowed to do it my mum used to say it was 'American and begging' back in the 80's, I took my 2 out with a couple of little friends last year for the first time and knocked on the doors of friends who later did similar. I don't think it's fair to knock on the doors of people who clearly don't want to participate though

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frumpypigskin · 03/10/2013 13:52

I hate it. I turn all the lights off and pretend to be out.

And I have small children. They have to pretend to be out too, or they go to bed early.

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roundtable · 03/10/2013 13:48

So is it the same posters who don't like trick or treating, baby showers, weddings, other people's happiness...etc?

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randomAXEofkindness · 03/10/2013 13:41

Lovely little expectant faces excited about being out in the DARK, about being part of something FUN, about being all DRESSED UP, about doing something DIFFERENT, sharing all of this with their friends, family, and neighbors. Oh it's bloody terrible isn't it!

I'll be taking mine out 'begging' (bah!) and I'm sure they'll thoroughly enjoy it. Even Mr Random will be dressing up this year (zombie). I think I'll even take some cupcakes to hand out as we go, cause that's the way I roll Grin.

YABU op. And since when did something being 'not British' make it any less of anything except... British?

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Sukebind · 03/10/2013 13:38

I don't understand why some people are so quick to condemn anyone with a different opinion here. It seems to me that in some places in this country Trick or Treating is considered to be a fun, inclusive event that many choose to take part in, while in other parts of the UK it might be only something down as a pre-agreed thing between friends or neighbours or that is abused by older children as an excuse for causing trouble and raising cash. I don't see why you should be accused of being a miserable whatsit just because you live in the latter sort of area.

My friend in the next road was burgled on 31st Oct two years ago. Police said that the darker evenings and the fact that people expect to see strangers going up to houses and possibly messing about meant that burgleries round here shot up that night. This doesn't mean Trick or Treaters are to blame for the break-ins and thefts but does explain why some people round here aren't keen on the tradition.

Moreover, posters who have complained about the same old threads are possibly not taking into account the fact that the same issues come up year after year but for different parents and for them it's the first time they have come across them. If they are new parents, new to the site or their child has just got to the age where it's an issue now, then you can't expect them to have been following the last 12 years of threads on here. If you are fed up with it, just don't read it.

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SybilRamkin · 03/10/2013 13:26

Aw, I used to go trick or treating as a child and it was brilliant! I loved dressing up and carving a pumpkin my dad had grown specially for the occasion.

I go a bit mad now decorating our house for Halloween, DH thinks I'm mad - it seems to attract every child within half a mile radius, last year we got 80 kids knocking on the door Shock

The only thing that worries me is the prevalence of black costumes and lack of road awareness of some kids - a couple of years ago I almost knocked down a couple of them on my bike because they stepped out and I hadn't even seen them. Last year I gave out light-up helium-filled balloons with the sweets to the small ones so that cars and bikes could see them, and intend to do the same this year.

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