Oh dunno -really don't - grew up in an Hindu/Christian household and I'm old. Yet it wasn't really christian or hindu if I'm honest because they weren't particularly devout in either of their faiths.
I don't ever remember english gran at big hindu funerals or diwali or any other indian getogether just like my indian gran had no concept of christmas etc. Didn't compromise me at all because I was not brought up in a religious tug of war - rather these events were merely about CULTURE and the various facets of my family. It was actually fun.
And that's where you probably feel aggrieved - that you're trying to keep your roots in an environment that is not default yours.
I'm at the stage where my friends call to say happy diwali and i repond 'bloody hell - better phone my mum'. I phone my mum with greetings and she's 'bloody hell - is it? I'd better phone the family with greetings etc'. The only reason I know christmas because it's pretty big on the calendar and a public holiday. I struggle with it.
But I get you in this way - these days people are really into diversity (in the UK at least) and so I'm totally miffed that my italian in laws instisted on serving beef at my bloody wedding even after I explained I wanted to invite my mum's family who are veggie!And that they bemoan the fact that their grandkid is not yet baptised. The fact their grandchild is part asian is unmentionable. So it's about culture in my view.
We want our upbringings validated.
My mum made the christian festival effort because she came to live in a christian country (makes her no less hindu). I make the effort in Italy because it's a catholic country but I don't in the UK. My dad made the effort in Brazil as it's a catholic country but he doesn't in the UK.
So, I'm sort of on the fence. Get what you're saying but it's about culture really IMO and my experience.