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AIBU?

To ask if any of you feel financially secure, and if so, what does it look like...?

164 replies

Sugarbeach · 18/09/2013 14:24

Is it even possible? Is it a realistic hope/goal?

OP posts:
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Pagwatch · 18/09/2013 18:03

Gosh I agree with all of that Wordfactory.

Ds1 has always been involved in general conversations about finances since he was in his mid teens. We have taught him about debt, credit cards etc and upped that each year as he got older.
He organises his uni finances and lives off his loan - he has a spreadsheet and everything.
He has friends who on't know what APR means.

I just meant I am not endlessly smugging over coffee about how set we are .

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wordfactory · 18/09/2013 18:04

Were you not tempted to pay him through uni pag?

DH and I have endless talks about that little nugget.

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Badvoc · 18/09/2013 18:06

Word factory...do share!
:)

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chickydoo · 18/09/2013 18:07

Gosh I don't think we will ever feel financially secure. 4DC put pay to that.
We do own our home and cars outright.
Have no debt.
Have a good amount of savings.... But....
Care home fees Op!!
My DM was in a care home, cost well over 1k a WEEK.
With me and DH 1 year in a care home together would cost in excess of 100k a year. You can do the maths, imagine 10 years or more!!!! Who has that saved up.
DH will have a reasonable pension when he retires, I will have to sell the house, down size and cross my fingers

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Pagwatch · 18/09/2013 18:10

God yes Grin I really was. I struggled so much at that age but it seemed sensible to make him stand on his own two feet a bit.

We compromised. We pay his accommodation , he pays everything else out of his loan.
He tries to o everything himself. I think he just despises the guys at uni who have credit cards in their parents name and flash all over the place.

I know it sounds wanky but I was quite proud that when his friends from uni rocked up here, they were a bit freaked out. He isn't flash. He wants to be independent.

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secretscwirrels · 18/09/2013 18:12

wordfactory Were you not tempted to pay him through uni
When the latest increase in tuition fees started that was my first thought.
I've brought both DC up to know the value of money and how it works and that debt other than mortgage is Bad.
However I've been convinced that paying them through uni is not a financially good option. They will take the loans and we will help when it comes to buying homes. They may never actually have to pay back those student loans. See here

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sleeplessbunny · 18/09/2013 18:13

i think it's a shame that we tend not to discuss our finances in RL, wordfactory, I have learnt much by experience over the last 15yrs but it would have been so helpful if i'd had better financial awareness in my early 20s.

FWIW, i think financial security is something that always feels slightly out of reach, however much money I do or don't have. Probably because my expenditure generally grows to consume whatever my income is. Grin

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sleeplessbunny · 18/09/2013 18:15

i also think that no-one is truly financially secure if they are relying on a partner's income or pension. Which sadly affects a lot more women than men.

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Alwayscheerful · 18/09/2013 18:16

Word factory...do share.

I suspect it might be an explanation about the difference between assets and liabilities. In order to have liabilities you must have income producing assets.

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ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 18/09/2013 18:24

We are far more sorted than it might look from the outside. Whilst we have a largish mortgage on our current property (LTV is below 50%) we actually own a couple of other properties that are mortgage free and rented out. We have no other debt apart from the mortgage. I have reasonable pension pot and we have other savings and investments.

Its all about security for me too, I think because one of my parents died when I was a teenager I want to create financial security for myself and my children just in case. I bought my first flat in London around the age of 26 when a lot of my friends were still partying.

For us, financial security is a combination of luck, strong earnings and short term sacrifice for longer term gain. I have a high salary but I don't buy a lot of luxury items because I don't really care much about them but I do care about not having to work until I am 68 unless I choose to do so.

I would recommend this book to anyone thinking about financial security and what it means to them
www.amazon.co.uk/Your-Money-Life-Transforming-Relationship/dp/0143115766/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1379525048&sr=1-1&keywords=your%20money%20or%20your%20life&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

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Want2bSupermum · 18/09/2013 18:36

I will consider us financially secure when our investments pay more than my income.

I think wordfactory is probably talking about how people mix up expenses and investments. An investment generates future income, an expense doesn't. It grinds my gears when people talk about expenses being investments. My fav one is when people buy their forever home and replace the kitchen and bathrooms. They call this an investment. It is an expense because if you are not planning to sell the house for the next 30 years chances are it will need to be replaced either before you sell or by the new owner.

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RoonilWazlibWuvsHermyown · 18/09/2013 18:49

I wish I'd known about finances when I was younger. My parents struggled with money (from the little I've heard about it) and I feel I've just copied that. I chose a useless degree and am currently a single mum on benefits. I try to think of ideas all the time as to how I can change our lives for the better but I'm cursed with being uncreative so at a bit of a loss for now. I'm getting to the point now where I'm regretting every work, school, financial decision I've ever made now its led to this. The guilt I feel towards dd is horrible. Its all so scary.

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UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 18/09/2013 20:09

Sorry, just to be clear, I wasn't accusing anyone of being smug Blush

The point I was trying to make that if people are in a financial shithole I don't think "oh, they must have made bad decisions", I know all the things that can knock people sideways.

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NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 18/09/2013 20:12

I like Mijas attitude...with good savings and still not mortgaging her life away.

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SlobAtHome · 18/09/2013 20:13

I think I do (but have little money). I rent so I have no risk of losing a house. I can pay all my bills and have some left over. I am saving. I have nothing that would suddenly cost loads of money (like a car)

I feel financially secure because I haven't got much to lose tbh.

Plus I work for a company that wont fire anyone so my job is pretty secure!

However maybe others would hate being this skint and would be unwilling to live as I do (e.g. without a car) and would feel very financially insecure.

I'm happy anyway. Life is simple :)

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IamSlave · 18/09/2013 20:34

I also think mijas sounds so free, and un chained. Envy.

Your life sounds great. Smile.

I wish I had the confidence to up sticks and follow that kind of lifestyle, my only reservation would be, having lived in rented properties, I hate that feeling of not being able to make it your own, and being paranoid the LL is going to drop in and find place in a state!

Agree with others up thread, owning house, enough money to cover job loss for years, no debt.

We cant get there because of low wages which are not rising with inflation.

i find it odd people always attacking benefits for being to high, what about attacking WAGES that are too fecking LOW!

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MaidOfStars · 18/09/2013 20:35

Russian University superannuation scheme. Final salary (current £41k, 36 yrs). 7.5%/15% contribution. 707m surplus, 28b assets. Not subject to the Hutton report/guidelines. Sounds reasonable to me.....thoughts?

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MaidOfStars · 18/09/2013 20:39

Ah, just seen post re: USS. I think it's pretty safe....

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Yama · 18/09/2013 20:45

We have just started another 25 year mortgage and have other debts. However, I feel financially secure.

The reason being is that if we had to, we could survive on just one of our salaries. We also have insurance should the worst happen.

Again, like others dh and I had poor upbringings so are very careful with money.

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RussiansOnTheSpree · 18/09/2013 20:51

maid If you've been in for 36 years then you're over 50 and not so threatened. But the T&Cs of the Uss have been changed significantly in the last 15 years. People under 50 just don't have the security even in the stat schemes. Mind you, increasingly there aren't any people under 50 in them as they get closed to new entrants either explicitly or implicitly.

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Sugarbeach · 19/09/2013 02:37

Lots of interesting responses and pearls of wisdom....I wish I'd known about finances, instead, everything I know I've picked up over the years.

I don't see the logic of renting over having a mortgage making you feel more financially secure.....whatever happens, you still need a roof over your head, at least if you own your own home, you will hopefully not have to worry about being homeless once the mortgage is paid off.

OP posts:
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BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 19/09/2013 06:48

I think health and ability to work come into it as well. Ten years or so ago I felt confident that, were I to become too ill to work, the welfare state would
look after me. These days, I think only the most seriously ill and disabled can know that...

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PicardyThird · 19/09/2013 07:17

We've never been really hard up, but I am beginning now, after years of having to be very careful with money, to feel secure. We've got to points in our careers where we are earning fairly decent money. We've always saved, longer- and shorter-term, even when we had very little - it was very small amounts, now we can save more - and have almost always had at least a couple of thousand in the bank for any dire emergencies. Dh's student debt is very nearly gone and we have no other debt (we rent, but live in a country where renting is a real alternative and don't wish to buy atm).

A big part of my feeling of security is that I have sought-after skills at a level higher than a lot of my 'competition' and I could earn a reasonable living freelance if I needed to.

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PicardyThird · 19/09/2013 07:18

Oh, on pensions - We will have a very modest private pension but tbh I expect we will be working into our 70s. We're lucky enough to have jobs which, barring dementia, we could theoretically do until really quite old.

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MrsMook · 19/09/2013 07:19

The pension is the weak one for us. The worrying bit is that we are in a much better position than our peers and when our generation gets to retirement age, there's going to be a lot of pensioners seriously struggling.

The only way I can see that resolving is that maybe pressures will ease when the baby boomer generation is around (and the generation being born looks healthy for numbers and will be economicly active). Maybe the obesity epidemic will mean fewer octogenerians to be supported (clutches at straws)


I've seen a few friends struggle as their criteria on affordable was coping on a reduced salary for a few months. Sadly for the ones affected by unemployment, it's been on and off for a few years.

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