DP said he was unsure of his feelings for someone else

[kumamon]

We've been together about a year. Yesterday he said he had to tell me something - a girl was moving back into town who he had a fling with last year before he and I met. This had unnerved him and he phoned her so they could chat and he could see how he felt as he "wasn't sure if he had feelings for her", and he wanted to know how she felt.

The upshot is that they have agreed not to be in contact, but he told me in case we bumped into her at some point.

I'm mid-thirties, I'm not naive, I know in relationships you can still be attracted to other people - but this feels different and I am pretty shaken. He says "I didn't know where I stood with her and I had to talk to her" - if we have been together a year how can he not know where he stands with someone else?

He can't seem to understand why I feel threatened by this and just says I shouldn't. AIBU not to accept that he has checked out his feelings and says I have nothing to worry about?

[MissDD1971]

watch 'He's Not Into You' because he isn't.

and if he met someone else he liked more down the line, he'd be off.

[MissDD1971]

Also why would he say he was unsure of his feelings for someone else? really?

if you were to say this to him or another man for example, well you'd know there were problems etc.

and what decent man actually SAYS this and expects you to stay? he's taking for a mug.