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AIBU?

Fuming with grandparents n lack of support from my dad.

122 replies

ElBombero · 07/09/2013 05:10

Grandparents and my dad come over today to meet my 2 day old son. They asked of we had chosen a name, so said yes and told them the name. And their reaction amazed me "what your actually going to christen him that?" "He won't thank you for it when he's older" "it's a Chinese / Asian name" "have you thought of William instead" I was amazed, my DH was out n felt like they just launched on me.l, I was completely unprepared and obviously ubber emotional after just giving birth.
I told them to stop said I don't want any negative connotations on my sons name and it was mine and DH decision and we love it. It carried on a little "well you best give him a middle name to use if he wants" cheeky cheeky selfish bastards I just got angry then. If I dispised a name anyone had chosen family / friend / stranger I would always do the right thing and said it was lovely, not react like that, I'm seriously pissed off.

OP posts:

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WetGrass · 07/09/2013 22:03

Hell - I'll risk outing myself:

my mum couldn't bear to have a grandson with middle name Louie . Apparently Lewis is the only reasonable spelling - and Louie is short for Louise.

In summary: old people will always find the weirdest thing to object to.

Babycino81 · 07/09/2013 22:04

Sonny is an amazing name. Tell them to get fucked.

Congrats on your little one and don't let this upset you, I'm due in two weeks and am already preparing for lines of attack when I decide on a name x

friendslikethese · 07/09/2013 22:06

I have never really understood the "can you imagine a judge called ..." argument. I can't imagine throwing a CV away because of a first name.

I have a very unusual first name. Over time I have come to see there is some strength to having a name like that but - I wouldn't have chosen it. I was bullied at school, people don't say it properly, spell it properly. But more than that I don't like how it makes me stand out. For instance, I once rang the Samaritans about something (was v down.) I didn't feel I could give my first name as it would make me immediately identifiable.

Also, my mum gave me a middle name - that comes first so my passport, driving licence and birth certificate say a first name I have never been called.

So, I can't completely agree with the "your baby your rules" thing - it doesn't impact on you but on the child. Sonny - not my choice but not the worst really. Have a friend who called her boy Sunny which I do think looks like a girl's name.

WetGrass · 07/09/2013 22:12

Sunny is a common hindu boys name isn't it?

Whereas Sonny is American roots and Sunni is something else (Chinese?)

friendslikethese · 07/09/2013 22:15

I don't know.

They aren't Hindu, though

WetGrass · 07/09/2013 22:20

here

But that link spells it Sunay (which apparently means 'wise')

And I'm not sure I spelt the other one right either .. I'm sure Sunni is actually an ethnic Muslim group!

WetGrass · 07/09/2013 22:21

... and Sunil is a common indian name - which I presume is why I have audio-memory of men being called Suni/Sunny

ConfusedPixie · 07/09/2013 23:06

Nothing wrong with Sonny. I know a Sonny. His surname is Day (no, I am not joking!). He is gay, and very camp, and ultimately, he is very lovely. And that is all that matters! Tell them to fuck the fuck off, your child, your choice in name!

Prissyknickers · 08/09/2013 01:37

There will always be someone who doesn't like the name you choose.

I called my son Oscar 20 years ago when no one seemed to call their child that. I had so many horrible comments from the older generation in mine and dp's families. The only reference they had was Oscar Wilde and shock horror he was gay! They couldn't believe that I would set my son up for a life of ridicule.
My mother took my son to a local adventure park when he was 3 years old and lost sight of him in the crowd. She was too embarrassed to shout "Oscar" so instead she stood there shouting "little boy" "little boy". It was only when she heard a mum shouting "Clinton"! That she decided Oscar wasn't so bad! I laugh now when I think how ridiculous she must have looked.
My son has grown into an incredible person who I am so very proud of and he loves his name.
Sonny is a lovely name and any child called Sonny will be aware that they are cherished so its not just a name, its a gift.
Stick to your guns and in years to come you will laugh about it with your lovely son, just as I do with mine.
Congratulations on your new baby boy xx

fackinell · 08/09/2013 01:41

It's a great name, and congratulations.

PrettyFlyForAWifi · 08/09/2013 06:17

prissy that's hilarious!
Op, grandparents, what can I say, mine are in their 80s and seriously, the shit they come out with these days beggars belief. No self edit at all. Ignore for your own sanity - they're not going to change. I think Sonny rocks!

MammaTJ · 08/09/2013 06:23

Congratulations.

I usually judge names by thinking of other people I have known with that name. I have known two Sonnys, one a Jamaican taxi driver who was a total gent, loads of fun. The other mr friends dear little boy, again, loads of fun.

I think it's a lovely name.

BTW, I also think that coming on to a thread where a new mum is stating how upset she is by people criticising her choice of name and the criticising her choice of name is more than a little insensitive.

Morgause · 08/09/2013 06:34

We gave DS1 a family name. It was quite unusual but traditional, iyswim. My parents were delighted because it's my dad's second name and has been in the family for generations.

However, we also gave him a "mainstream" name for his second name in case he objected to it as he got older. We needn't have worried, when he was about 10 it became more popular, although never in the top 50.

He loves it and the connection to his family. His second name (John) is now quite a rarity.

Morgause · 08/09/2013 06:35

Posted too soon. Maybe give Sonny a second name that's more traditional in case he doesn't like it. I won't comment on your choice of name because it should be your choice and no one else's.

LittleEsme · 08/09/2013 07:38

OP - I love it. It's a happy, dependable, earthy name. And I say that as someone with a really traditional, old fashioned upbringing.

It's lovely. Should he grow up to be a carpenter or a solicitor, it'll suit.

They shouldn't have laid into you like that - sure, I can see that they're fine to express an opinion, but they should have been more sensitive. And yes, your Dad should have told them exactly that.

Cuddly your baby and rejoice in him. Don't let this upset you any more.

Shamoy · 08/09/2013 07:52

Fab name! I know three sonny's aged between 5 and 40 and they are all very cool!

Merrylegs · 08/09/2013 08:03

Welcome to the world of new parenting where everyone will have an opinion on your newborn and Feel The Need To Share It With You. Respond with a smile, a nod, a non-commital 'thanks I'll bear that in mind' and try and let it all wash over you. Congratulations btw!

SockPinchingMonster · 08/09/2013 08:07

WaltzingMathilda - Oops, I called my little boy Jayden - guess that's him pigeonholed then. To be honest though he's a very intelligent little boy, incredibly caring and well behaved most of the time. There are other Jayden's at his school and the school has quite an affluent intake for the city we are in so I don't see it as a 'chavvy' name. Everyone is entitled to their opinion though - just makes me a little sad that people are judged on their names alone.
Just out of interest his twin sister is Lola - not very common but would this name be likely to hinder her too?

OP - I think your little boy's name is lovely.

MissOtisRegretsMadam · 08/09/2013 08:10

But sock is his name fit for a king?????

SockPinchingMonster · 08/09/2013 08:15

MissOtis - I quite like King Jayden haha. He has currently decided his name is Jay anyway as he is too lazy to write Jayden on his work at school bless him. He is only 5 - I think Jay is pretty cool.

MadeOfStarDust · 08/09/2013 08:15

lol MisO... you never heard of KingJay!!

MadeOfStarDust · 08/09/2013 08:16

haha - cross posted... sorry...

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justmuddlingthroughit · 08/09/2013 08:23

mrslouistheroux,I think that's exactly what they should have done. If a friend of mine named her child a name I didn't like (shitbag notwithstanding, obviously!), I would simply smile and say something like 'how sweet!'. A lot of thought goes into choosing a child's name, and for me or anyone else to impose our taste or judgement is rude and arrogant. If it's a very unusual name, I might ask where it comes from or how they found it, but only out of curiosity.

Congratulations on the safe arrival of Sonny, elbombero!

justmuddlingthroughit · 08/09/2013 08:25

Oops, just realised I replied to a post on page one, and we're actually on page 4....

MintChocAddict · 08/09/2013 08:43

In the Godfather Sonny was short for Santino IIRC. My DS has a very common slightly nicknamey name and shock horror we didn't use the full formal version on the birth certificate (take that and party judgy M\netters and Katie Hopkins). This would have of course ensured that he would become a future leader of industry\ High Court Judge\ King of the World. Missed a trick there. DM and DMIL 'suggested' other names. DM now can't imagine him being called anything else. Smile and ignore. Smile and ignore. Smile and ignore and repeat.
Oh and congrats on gorgeous Sonny!

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