Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

AIBU?

Fuming with grandparents n lack of support from my dad.

122 replies

ElBombero · 07/09/2013 05:10

Grandparents and my dad come over today to meet my 2 day old son. They asked of we had chosen a name, so said yes and told them the name. And their reaction amazed me "what your actually going to christen him that?" "He won't thank you for it when he's older" "it's a Chinese / Asian name" "have you thought of William instead" I was amazed, my DH was out n felt like they just launched on me.l, I was completely unprepared and obviously ubber emotional after just giving birth.
I told them to stop said I don't want any negative connotations on my sons name and it was mine and DH decision and we love it. It carried on a little "well you best give him a middle name to use if he wants" cheeky cheeky selfish bastards I just got angry then. If I dispised a name anyone had chosen family / friend / stranger I would always do the right thing and said it was lovely, not react like that, I'm seriously pissed off.

OP posts:

Report

BashfulBunny · 07/09/2013 10:20

Bridgetsmum really? Could you not hold your tongue when visiting your DiL when your DS was out 2 days after birth?! Whatever they think of the name, that is utterly rude and inconsiderate. If that was me, and I had serious concerns, I'd raise it with my DS later.

There are perfectly good names I rejected when we were thinking about DS because they had some connotation I didn't like (eg too strongly associated to a nasty boy when I was at school).

I have never watched the Godfather , so that wouldn't occur to me. Before you said the name I thought it was going to be something outrageous. It isn't. To me it sounds slightly American maybe, that's all. Names change so much with generations. I once thought Nora and Edith were awful names and why would you name a child something so stuffy, but look at Nora Jones and Edith Bowman (and incidentally I like both now!)

Congratulations! And they will come around to it as they learn a new name association to their gorgeous GS

BashfulBunny · 07/09/2013 10:20

Bridgetsmum really? Could you not hold your tongue when visiting your DiL when your DS was out 2 days after birth?! Whatever they think of the name, that is utterly rude and inconsiderate. If that was me, and I had serious concerns, I'd raise it with my DS later.

There are perfectly good names I rejected when we were thinking about DS because they had some connotation I didn't like (eg too strongly associated to a nasty boy when I was at school).

I have never watched the Godfather , so that wouldn't occur to me. Before you said the name I thought it was going to be something outrageous. It isn't. To me it sounds slightly American maybe, that's all. Names change so much with generations. I once thought Nora and Edith were awful names and why would you name a child something so stuffy, but look at Nora Jones and Edith Bowman (and incidentally I like both now!)

Congratulations! And they will come around to it as they learn a new name association to their gorgeous GS

QuintessentialOldDear · 07/09/2013 10:20

Sonny is a lovely name! Congratulations on the birth of your baby boy!

" Sorry but the Jaydens and Kais of this world will be forever pigeon holed by their parents "

Whats wrong with Kai? It is an old traditional Norwegian name! If a Norwegian person living in the UK were to call her son Kai, it is dreadful to hear the name spoken about in this way. It is a lovely name.

ElBombero · 07/09/2013 10:22

Can't thank most of you enough for making me feel better, you really have. As for those that still chose to give a negative opinion on the name I really don't need your input, I was never asking for opinions on it just for a bit of support with the reli's.

I adore his name, it sounds cheerful and happy. I think it sounds youthful, charming and a little cheeky, someone who will always have a little twinkle in his eyes.

IMO I hope my son will never feel defined by his name, I think those who think this happens or do it themselves are bloody small minded and shallow. He will grow up with a generation of far worst / out there names. I personally only know of one Sonny and he's his his 50's, of Australia decent but he is a nice well respected man.

Thanks again everyone, you helped me pull my socks up abit and not let them get to me xx

OP posts:

SHarri13 · 07/09/2013 10:24

People get so bloody ruddy and old fashioned about names. Sonny isn't even a 'fashionable' name, it's cool though. When you imagine a guy in his twenties called Sonny he's going to be cool, popular and fun isn't he?

My Dad showed his distaste for my DS1's name when I was pregnant and didn't know the gender. As it was we had a boy, used the name anyway and he never said another word! Ha.

QuintessentialOldDear · 07/09/2013 10:26

The thing is, in time when your boy grows up and people get to know him, they will love the name as they will love him. Dont worry.

bridgetsmum · 07/09/2013 10:33

Bashfulbunny I never mentioned dil, I said I wouldn't be able to hold my tongue with my child.
Having said that, my oldest is 10, it's a long way off and who really knows how they will react 15 or 20 years in the future?

I think op, your attitude is absolutely right. It's your child and your absolute right to pick his name. If other people don't like it, that's their problem. You certainly don't give a monkeys what I think.

I had a cousin call me when I was heavily pregnant and say "Bridget? You're gonna call it Bridget?"
Cue tears from me etc. but we stuck with the name we liked and it's just her now.

ZolaBuddleia · 07/09/2013 10:41

Even my MIL, who can't keep her opinions to herself about ANYTHING managed not to be as blunt as that regarding DD's name. Some people are really really rude and inconsiderate, and for some people, being a grandparent brings out the worst in them.

Congratulations on your little boy.

HappyMummyOfOne · 07/09/2013 10:45

Your child, your call. I suspect your dad was looking out for his grandchild as its not a name most would choose and the child gets no say in it.

People do judge on the basis of names, you can usually guess the type of parent from a name.

At birth a career is probably the furthest thing from parents minds, but mis-spelt names, made up and simply daft names will hamper them in later life on their CV's.

Osmiornica · 07/09/2013 10:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 07/09/2013 10:51

I think that it as very "nicknamey", so i can understand them thinking that it might not be his given name.

But they were certainly rude in the way they asked!

LunaticFringe · 07/09/2013 10:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MmmmWhiteWine · 07/09/2013 10:56

Sounds like they could have been more tactful in their response but I do think if you give your child a more "out there" name, like Sonny, then you'll have to learn to live with people's reactions (& judgements).

pianodoodle · 07/09/2013 11:03

Sonny is a cool name! It's a bit different but not wildly so.

Reminded me of The Godfather too - and that's my favourite film :)

Don't know where the hell they get the Chinese comment from?! Ignore ignore!

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 07/09/2013 11:03

Sonny was and still is my choice if I have a boy. I have friends who spelled it Sunni with their child which is a bit odd!

foslady · 07/09/2013 11:30

I think you should tell them you've had a rethink and gone biblical........Zaccur, Azareel, Shubael or Habakk take your fancy?

BlingBang · 07/09/2013 12:02

There are some names that stand out and attract attention - you need to accept this when naming your child and realise that it is the child that will possibly deal with this through it's life. It's quite a responsibility naming another person. Still like Sonny though.

GhostsInSnow · 07/09/2013 12:02

I like Sonny, instantly thought of Sonny Moore who these days goes by the name of 'Skrillex' (Don't let him change it to that though, thats just daft)
It's a nice name, though its also a shortened form of Santino, wind em up a bit and tell them you'll give him his full name instead

Gullygirl · 07/09/2013 12:08

Ignore,ignore,ignore.
He is your child, they had naming rights for theirs.
As an aside,I wanted to call my firstborn son Fergus, MIL made a face and shuddered.
Much to my regret,I ended up calling him something else.Should have stuck to my guns.

Aniseeda · 07/09/2013 12:22

Yanbu, they were wrong to say what they did. If one of my DC named their child something I disliked I would just tell them it was a lovely choice and get on with it, hoping it would grow on me in time! I have had my turn at naming babies, now it's theirs.

I would make some allowance for the fact that they are in their 80's though. My Gran used to purse her lips at lots of things but her heart was in the right place, the world had just changed so much since she was young.

charleyturtle · 07/09/2013 21:11

I knew a sonny when I was in uni (tbh he was a bit annoying) but I never gave his name a second thought until I read this thread and I don't know anybody else that did either. So I really doubt it'll be something that is picked up on by his peers.

Personally I really like it, its short enough not to get shortened to a nickname you hate but long enough to sound like a full name and its cute for a baby, cool for an adult, friendly sounding and unusual enough that there wont be 3 others in his class.

My grand parents and DPs entire family hated my DD's middle name and tried to get me to change it for ages but I love it, DP loves it and dd suits it down to the ground. Now I don't think any of them could imagine her having another name. Also the priest that did her christening commented on what a beautiful and unusual middle name she has and you can't really argue with that can you?

mummytowillow · 07/09/2013 21:46

I love Sonny, ignore its a lovely name

When I told my mum what we had called my daughter she said 'I prefer her middle name'!

Again I chose to ignore

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Pollywallywinkles · 07/09/2013 21:54

Congratulations on the birth of your son.

The comment about his name is a generational thing; let it go and enjoy your son.

MariaLuna · 07/09/2013 21:55

won't stand the test overseas.

Ha bloody ha!

Funny how people are led by their own narrow mindedness.

I know a Sonny, a very succesful musician, and a Kai, also succesful in life, who is in his 50's.

Neither live in the UK.

WetGrass · 07/09/2013 21:59

My mum ran a long campaign against DS1s middle name (like - seriously - why was she bothered!).

I was living there immediately post-partum - ended up saying "I cant handle being hassled about his name all the time" - and retreating up to my room..... by the end of the day I had half a dozen emails in my inbox with Wikipedia links and the like trying to evidence to me that I had chosen a girls name and anyway misspelt it. . Lots of emotionally charged language - and even a helpful list of alternatives!

Anyone care to guess the cruelly effeminate and ignorant name we chose?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.