to not understand why those with lower income get free childcare even if they don't work

[PrincessScrumpy]

2 mums from a toddler group I go to are on income support and their DC start their free 2 days a week at nursery at the age of 2. I have dd1 age 5, and dtds 2. We couldn't afford childcare for 2 babies so I had to cut my hours by more than half and work from home around dc which is hard but we wouldn't cover the bills if I didn't. obviously twins was a surprise and a huge financial hit so savings are very low/almost non existent.

Anyway, I have another year until my dtds get free childcare while a lady with one dc gets it at age 2 despite having no intention to work. This feels really unfair and I just don't get the reasoning.
I'm not trying to benefit bash but it's hard not to feel angry. Willing to accept iabu, but can't help feeling this way.

[Mumof3xx]

Can't sleep some medical issues are included in the 2014 increase I think but of course your child may be three by then

[brdgrl]

reallytired, do you not have kids, then?

[cantsleep]

I hope so all dcs have quite severe health issues. In sep and oct alone between them all we have 14 hosp appts to attend one of which is for an op. Poor ds2 spends all his time in the buggy or car seat and I was so pleased he might get to go to pre school 'early'.

I was really disappointed when after I gaave the forms in the pre school manager said he didn't have much chance.

[cantsleep]

He won't be 2 till next april so fingers crossed ! I just tried to get in early hoping it might be first come first served

[SleepyFish]

You do seem to be confusing childcare with education OP. You even said in your first post it'll be another year until your children get the free childcare.
Nursery and schools are not there to provide childcare, they're there to provide children with education.
Whilst your friend might be capable of providing a child with everything they need plenty others in her situation are not. This scheme is for those children.

[cantsleep]

If we qualified I'd consider it good for ds to play for once and for me to have a break, which in turn would improve things for all dcs.

[brdgrl]

cantsleep - are there other benefits you would be entitled to, based on their medical issues?

[Mumof3xx]

Cantsleep I think if your child has a health or care plan, or recieves dla they might get it

[Owllady]

cantsleep, have you tried the children with disabilities service (it's part of social services) they can help with respite etc if you need it and a nursery place I imagine, is something that could be considered (if it is your ds that is ill that is)

[Fakebook]

We have this system in place in our area too. I know a woman who lied to her local nursery about how her DS was being exposed to bad language and was picking up bad behaviour from his cousins (big Asian family living next door to one another) and the nursery were horrified and took him on from age 2 for 12 hours a week for free.

[cantsleep]

All dcs get dla and we get ctc but apart from that nothing else.

Dh works but doesn't earn enough that we could aafford private nursery for ds2 we seem to be in a bit of a grey area as don't claim qualifying benefits yet he doesn't earn enough for nursery costs.

Just bad luck though I suppose but I do worry for ds2 out of all dcs he is quite delayed, not walking properly or really speaaking at all but I aaam so busy with needs of other dcs and travelling to and from appts there is literally no time to sit and play/interact with him.

Makes me feel like a shit mother I had really felt a sense of things could change when pre school sent that letter out I had visions of ds getting to learn and play and me getting to rest/catch up with things/go to other dcs appts knowing ds not fed up stuck in pushchair.

Never mind. Not much I can do if we don't qualify I have to make the best of things as they are.

[Bubbles1066]

I suppose it's annoying as those of us on average incomes (I'm a SAHM and DH earns national average) SHOULD in all fairness be able to pay for a few hours a week of nursery for our under 3's for whatever reason but due to the ludicrous costs find it very hard to afford this. That's what's unfair, not so much free places for others on benefits or whatever. It breeds resentment among those who are over the threshold for help but can't afford to pay either. I really must move to Scandinavia. They can do childcare/pre school.

[Mumof3xx]

Fakebook it wouldn't be the nurseries decision they don't decide who gets places its the local authority who make the decisions

Can't sleep I think you will get it

www.education.gov.uk/childrenandyoungpeople/earlylearningandchildcare/delivery/free%20entitlement%20to%20early%20education/b0070114/eefortwoyearolds

[Owllady]

you are not a shite mother, you sound like a lovely mum who is trying her absolute best but running on empty

do you not qualify for carers allowance because of the dla?
have you got a local carers group? I know all areas differ, but it's worth checking out carers uk as they have carers cafes etc which are nice to go to to have a rest (I have taken all my children with me, they do your hair and nails and look after the kids for a few hours)
crossroads/home start might be worth trying?
has little ds been assessed properly by a multi disciplinary panel? do they know what is causing his delays?

sorry if that is a lot of questions

[Mumof3xx]

I don't know how to make links work but if you can copy and paste that it lists 2014 eligibility criteria

[Loa]

Usually 15 hours from 3 in this area with some families being able to access from 2 - but they had low incomes and additional issue - pnd, series illness in immediate family, development delays in the DC or in one case several younger DC.

To get offered the places they have to be on the radar of the child centre and attached nursery offering the service.

It really isn't about childcare for work.

[cantsleep]

Pre school said def not that medical needs would not get ds any priority.

All dcs have gone to this pre school and they know our family circs and currently have dd there who has complex medical needs so they know how tough things arem we get direct payments for help with older dcs but I just worry so much about ds2.

Its just one of those things and just bad luck as far as I can tell.

If dh gave up work we would be on IS and hundreds of pounds better off ech month as we would then get HB/CTB, but he wants to keep on working which makes things so difficult although I admire him for wanting to I do sometimes think how much easier it would be/better for dcs with him here to help out too

[Owllady]

cantsleep, your dh giving up work is not the answer, it sounds like you need more support in your carers role off outside support (which most of us do tbh)

[Mumof3xx]

Could your pre school not be aware of 2014 changes?

[Mumof3xx]

Try speaking to your hv

[cantsleep]

Yes get carers but although all dcs get dla we are only allowed one lot of carers, unless dh gave up work then he could claim it once as well as 3 of dcs on higher rate for both.

I just feel like I'm doing a bad job when I had ds things were not as bad but one of my dds became v ill few months later resulting in him not getting as much attention as he should and I feel guilty

[NotintheMiddle]

It annoys me that it is assumed that people on a low income must be depriving their kids at home so they should go to nursery at 2.

[cantsleep]

I will ask pre school to look into 2014 changes thankyou

[fffinsake]

I think YABU to be angry about this.

Here there are no nurseries, just preschools, so my "free 15 hours" is bollocks all use. I have to pay my CM for the 15 hours anyway. It's very unfair because if it was transferable so that it could be used to pay the CM or if my DC were in an all-day nursery setting then I'd save myself £75 a week. Calling it free childcare is disingenuous.

Little children whose parents are struggling on their own, on limited finances and in difficult circumstances are pretty deserving recipients of enrichment though.