To expect my local coffee shop to let me in with a pram?

[Shockingundercrackers]

Will try to keep this brief. My local coffee shop owner has just refused me entry with a pram (not a massive silver cross call the midwife one, just a bugaboo style thing). He said he was busy (he wasn't, and although its a small place there were only two other customers inside) and that buggies had to be parked outside. I can see the logic of this, but a pram with a 5 week old sleeping baby in it isn't really a buggy is it? Or is it?

I should have remonstrated with the grumpy fecker of course, but it had taken me so long to get said infant out of the house and I was so hungry and tired I thought I might embarrass myself and start blubbing. I beat a hasty retreat.

I've been fuming ever since of course. AIBU?

[Shockingundercrackers]

I should at this point reveal that I've had serious reservations about this particular cafe owner before. He's a right miserable get. In fact, in fairness I'd not really bother with his tiresome cafe were it not for the fact that after five weeks of zero sleep I couldn't be arsed to make lunch for myself.

Well I went home and ate my own cane so that showed him.

Do think this an interesting thread though, glad I posted. If nothing else it's soothed some of my ruffled old bird feathers.

[expatinscotland]

Oh, dear, yes, had to fold up the buggy and manage with toddler and baby on buses. Still here. Don't see any of it - non-folding buggies on buses or parent and child spaces as good things at all. That's not just a cat's bum but a mangy cat arse. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

[MissDD1971]

mumofthemonsters808 - that is quite bad.

however it is HER business! not that I'd darken her door again LOL. but to turn you away even if you're buying a takeaway what a mean cow.

sammisatt - my brother's FIL is in a wheelchair and ITA with you re wheelchairs/double buggies. also a good friend of mine had a double buggy a few years back and said it was nightmare getting it most places. I sympathise.

[DontmindifIdo]

See OP, I think YABU to be fuming, but you would be U if you went to that coffee shop again.

while you can leave your pram/buggy out side, fold up the buggy, take a sling, if you have been walking with your 5 wo in the pram and he's asleep, you then either have to wake your baby (defeating the object of a nice coffee in peace) to take them out or leave them in the pram outside, and no, I wouldn't leave a bugaboo outside a coffeeshop, they are bloody expensive and you will probably be cluttering up the path outside (few places have space to have a pram that size and say a wheelchair going on the pavement).

I just don't see that you should be going out of your way to give someone else some money. Go elsewhere.

There was a coffee shop near us who had a similar policy. The local yummy mummies voted with their feet and went elsewhere. The owner unfortunately learnt the hard way that during the working day, the people about in our town are mums, unemployed people, a few retired people (who don't spend a lot of money) and those working from home types who go to a coffee shop, order one coffee and nurse it all day while using the free wifi. They went under. The coffee shop has reopened with new owners, they are now super family friendly, and are heaving with buggies that cost a grand each, pushed by mums with expensive highlights leaving large tips. (I felt a right scruff in there the other day, but my god the cakes are good!)

[MissDD1971]

OP - I know this sounds silly but maybe post on local mums forums about this, even do a piece for local newspaper?

name and shame and get more kid/baby friendly cafes to open up. I'd rather have a cute baby in a buggy than a grumpy old cafe owner scowling at me LOL!

[JenaiMorris]

I was on the ferry the other day and it was FULL of small children. I hated it.

Not even the bar was free of wailing toddlers and 5yos waving fairy wands.

It occurred to me that I wouldn't have been remotely bothered as a younger woman but now I'm older I really can't be arsed. It's the one thing I've become less tolerant about as I age

[JenaiMorris]

I'm mean spirited

[SilverApples]

I'm really old. I can't wait to be an outrageous pensioner.
I have a to do-list.

[usualsuspect]

I'm a right miserable fucker.I work in a cafe too.

So get loads of opportunities to cats bum face.

[flipchart]

OP - I know this sounds silly but maybe post on local mums forums about this, even do a piece for local newspaper?

name and shame and get more kid/baby friendly cafes to open up. I'd rather have a cute baby in a buggy than a grumpy old cafe owner scowling at me LOL

Why does everything have to be kiddy friendly?

I like going to places where there are no kids, babies or toddlers.
When my kids were small I went to places that were kid orientated like a Brewster or Charlie Chalk or whatever was around.

I avoid those places now and go to places where kids are not likely to go.
Nothing wrong with that, horses for courses.

If and when I have grandchildren I will take them to Brewster type places and still go to the kid unfriendly places with my friends.

Don't see why people have to be shamed.

[JenaiMorris]

I don't mind them (children or parents with prams) if they're well behaved, but often they're not. I'm a former waitress and can attest to the fact that many parents and children are a royal pita.

[TooExtraImmatureCheddar]

Have only read part of the thread, so apologies if anyone has pointed this out already. Justanothermanicmumsday, you only have to fold your pram/buggy on an Edinburgh bus if there is a wheelchair user trying to use the space. Or if you get on and someone else is already there with a pram - think in that case both of you have to fold pram so others can get past. I have used the big Quinny buggy and the little McLaren on an Edinburgh bus and seen multiple others with an unfolded buggy using the space. Maybe I should add that if a wheelchair user appeared I would have folded my pram/buggy immediately!

[expatinscotland]

I look forward to adult-only activities. There are even cruises for adults over a certain age only. My folks love them!

[timidviper]

flipchart absolutely agree. Not everywhere should be child friendly, let's have a range of places

[SilverApples]

Don'tmindifIdo put a logical argument. The owner gets to decide, and if they turn away parents with buggies, their business may or may not survive.
Which is also the owner's decision.
If they choose to have a cafe that is clutter-free, with clean floors, that's still legal.

[MissDD1971]

flipchart I can see your point.

I suppose there will always be 2 camps one who wants no kids anywhere at all and those who want the right to take them where they like.

I work in one of most child-saturated places in London (Wimbledon) - not saying the cafes need to be or are kid friendly but like it can be hard to gauge what is and isn't.

I'm not a mum, don't plan to be one - not yet but I know some friends of mine and recall when I was young being made to feel like an alien outsider if you had kids with you, however young.

we got it in the neck from publicans when it was pouring lashing rain in the countryside and turned away (in 70's/80's). it is really necessary for this type of behaviour these days?!

and trust me I see lots of little angels (sorry brats, can't do the strikethrough) and parents who are a PITA too when eating/having coffee out.

[MissDD1971]

timidviper - how do you see if there is a range of places child or not child friendly?

should these places display signs?!

[emblosion]

Artex at "LIFE IS PAIN"

OP I don't think you are really BU - although obviously owners perogative if they don't allow prams/buggies. Don't waste time being cross about it, just don't go back.

It's different once babies can sit in high chair, but when they are v small all you can do is hold them, not ideal when trying to eat/drink.