AIBU to think there is a stigma attached to taking up Free School Meals?

[cingolimama]

Would really value MNers experience here. DH and I have had a pretty disastrous year financially (redundancy for DH, drying up of contracts for me). However we are both working hell for leather to turn this around. In the meantime we're eligible for FSM, which frankly would be a big help. I also know that it helps the school gain a Pupil Premium.

But I'm a bit nervous about this. I don't want my daughter to be "targeted for help" as I believe anyone benefiting from FSM is (but perhaps I'm being idiotic - DD could surely use a booster in maths dept.) I also don't want any social stigma attached to this. It's a mixed school socially, but the majority is very middle class. Has anyone had any negative experience of taking this up? Or AIBU and it will all be fine?

[ToysRLuv]

I believe you burberry. It does mean something when pp is linked with fsm. That is to say that children who receive fsm need extra help with their school work, because they don't get the right help at home. I would be insulted by the assumption that the poor or (temporarily) unemployed are stupid and unsupportive of education. And not all teachers are saintly and free of prejudice. Steer clear of fsm if you can, unless you can ask someone you know well at the school what their particular experience is like.

I thin it would lessen the stigma if fsm was based purely on income (employed or not) and pp was distributed in some way directly linked to academic performance.

[Feenie]

Your experience sounds terrible - but it doesn't translate to 'don't have FSM, because THIS happened'. FSM don't appear to have any bearing here.

[BrokenSunglasses]

I agree Amber.

Teachers IME do sometimes judge parents, but they make their judgements on parents who never send in PE kit, or who are regularly late, or who send their child into school with shoes that don't fit so the children end up complaining to them all day, or who don't do anything at all to support their learning, and probably many other things that directly affect the child. They can usually make fairly accurate judgements when they have known a family for a while, but they are not so heartless that they don't understand genuine issues and problems. They don't make judgements based purely on FSM entitlement.

[curlew]

"Steer clear of fsm if you can, unless you can ask someone you know well at the school what their particular experience is like."

Please don't frighten people like this!

One poster has said she thinks that a bad experience she had with a teacher might have been because her child was on FSM and you're saying stuff that might mean struggling parents reject a valuable and deserved benefit....

[Feenie]

Exactly, brokensunglasses and curlew.

[HappyMummyOfOne]

BQ, most schools seem to spend on support staff to ensure small teaching groups rather than after school clubs. They have to show achievement in the pupils in literacy and numeracy.

[ToysRLuv]

I probably have some kind of "black mark" against me in ss books, because I was deemed "uncooperative" when I complained about having to take classes, which I could have taught and refusing to give into the pressurising about cc ("your fault you've got pnd, then, if you won't help yourself!"), then walking away from their "help". They really made me feel like a shit parent, although there were absolutely no concerns regarding ds and his development or treatment by me. My only crime was to have pnd and not sleeping well.

[Feminine]

Free school meals should also be available for parents in receipt of working tax credit!

If you receive just one penny of it, you are denied all kinds of help.

I've never got that.

[burberryqueen]

ok fine well mine didnt get offered any small teaching groups or after school clubs - the SENCO did however spent her time making a long and detailed list of uncorroborated misinformation about me as a parent; for example that my dd was short sighted and I had never taken her for an eye test ( totally untrue) or that my son had been seen with a can of pop.
all of this was reported to SS. SS closed the file in about a week.
I personally do not think this would have happened without the FSM and invisible PP.

[Feminine]

never *understood I should clarify.

[ToysRLuv]

But, I have to be clear, DS is still in preschool so I have no experience of school or fsm. Neither do I know anyone who receives them. It's just that I'm a bit wary now. Once burned, twice shy..

[Nerfmother]

But surely taking up fsm is better than not if ss are involved? Wouldn't ss think well thank god they are not spending money on lunch, means they have more for dinner/ breakfast etc?
I just think taking it up or otherwise won't stop school knowing or suspecting you would be eligible?

[BrokenSunglasses]

Free school meals should also be available for parents in receipt of working tax credit!

No, it shouldn't.

The income of someone on WTC is not going to be any different to someone who earns a little bit more but too much to be entitled to working tax credit.

It needs to be linked to overall income, no matter whether that income is earned or claimed in either working or child tax credits.

Otherwise you are just adding yet another disincentive to work into the mix, and as we already know, working does not always pay.

[BrokenSunglasses]

Burberryqueen, do you think that everyone who claims FSMs is reported to SS just because they claim FSM?

Do you even think that every child who claims FSM in the school you are referring to was reported to SS?

No, they probably weren't. And maybe you did just have the unfortunate experience of being referred to SS for no reason other than an unscrupulous teacher. But I'd be willing to bet good money that SS were not involved purely because you claimed FSMs.

You are scaremongering, and potentially causing a family reading this serious financial hardship because they believe they could be risking SS intervention if they claim what they are entitled to.

Share your experience, but don't keep insisting that your experience was down to your FSM claim, when it is highly unlikely to have made any difference whatsoever.

[curlew]

"ok fine well mine didnt get offered any small teaching groups or after school clubs - the SENCO did however spent her time making a long and detailed list of uncorroborated misinformation about me as a parent; for example that my dd was short sighted and I had never taken her for an eye test ( totally untrue) or that my son had been seen with a can of pop.
all of this was reported to SS. SS closed the file in about a week.
I personally do not think this would have happened without the FSM"

Wow. Everyone PLEASE ignore this. This poster may have been treated abysmally by the school, but IT WAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FSM!. Claim what you are entitled to

[burberryqueen]

ok then, we live in a lovely fluffy egalitarian world where all primary school teachers and particularly SENCOs, no sorry 'professionals', are paragons of fairness, non-judgementalness and all round loveliness.
Happy now?

[Wheresmycaffeinedrip]

I believe you burberry

School sounds appalling. The fact that they even mentioned the FSM was appalling it shouldn't have had anything to do with it.

[Feminine]

brokennot being difficult but I don't understand your post (where you quoted me)

Why should people who get WTC because they work not get help?

Those that get FSM also get help with outings/trips.

Just recently the school has a residential trip planned for yrs 5/6 -its going to be close to £200! We won't get any help as we get a tint bit of WTC.

[BrokenSunglasses]

Burberry, what you are missing is that even if what happened to you is being described completely accurately, it is not the norm. It is not something that other people considering whether or not to claim FSMs should worry about, because if it does happen the way you say it did, then it's extremely rare.

[AmberLeaf]

FSMs dont 'entitled' you to much of a discount on school journeys anymore. not like it used to be.

Burberry, Im not doubting you have had a bad experience with your childs school, I know it happens.

But it really wasn't because your child was getting free school meals and it is a bit off for you to share that on a thread like this.

[AmberLeaf]

entitle not entitled!

[burberryqueen]

i am not 'missing' anything i think a lot of people are simply deluded.
let's hope you are right anyway, i was certainly never treated like that when i paid or sent packed lunches.

[BrokenSunglasses]

Sorry Feminine, maybe I didn't make myself clear.

I don't think that people on WTC should be denied FSMs, I just think that it's unfair that any type of tax credit is used as eligibility criteria for FSMs.

People's earned income after tax can often leave them with exactly the same amount of money available as someone on tax credits can get. So I don't think tax credits should be considered at all. I think overall income should be considered because that's what actually indicates whether someone needs help or not regardless of whether it is earned or claimed.

[friday16]

It sounds like BQ's children are at a school which needs its budgets cut. They have a SENCO who has time to waste on reporting people to social services on the basis that they are on FSM (as if social services don't have anything better to do with their time), and a management culture which says that they would rather behave spitefully than receive additional funding. They clearly have an underemployed member of staff whose hours should be cut (the SENCO with time on their hands) and a budget excess (which is why they can be contemptuous of PP).

Most, if not all, schools need every penny they can get, and their SENCO doesn't have time to help the children that need help, never mind manufacturing nonsense for their own amusement.

BQ's experience could be summarised as "my children are at a shit school, whose staff behave like shit". Most people's experience is not like that.