AIBU to think there is a stigma attached to taking up Free School Meals?

[cingolimama]

Would really value MNers experience here. DH and I have had a pretty disastrous year financially (redundancy for DH, drying up of contracts for me). However we are both working hell for leather to turn this around. In the meantime we're eligible for FSM, which frankly would be a big help. I also know that it helps the school gain a Pupil Premium.

But I'm a bit nervous about this. I don't want my daughter to be "targeted for help" as I believe anyone benefiting from FSM is (but perhaps I'm being idiotic - DD could surely use a booster in maths dept.) I also don't want any social stigma attached to this. It's a mixed school socially, but the majority is very middle class. Has anyone had any negative experience of taking this up? Or AIBU and it will all be fine?

[burberryqueen]

well it does happen I can assure you

[Feenie]

You really need to explain that comment then, or you are at risk of being dismissed as scaremongering.

[Goldenbear]

I don't think there is a stigma attached to it at all but at my DS's school the only way other parents find out, as far as I can see, is from the 'late book' as there is a column to tick if your child receives FSM.

[burberryqueen]

ok "IME" that is what happened, how's that?

[Ezza1]

Burberryqueen, what on earth do you mean by a "flag"? I am genuinely confused by people's attitudes on here regarding free school meals.

[Wheresmycaffeinedrip]

I don't think BQ should have to tell everyone what happened its private. Just because 95% of posters state that they have no experience of any negative incidents regarding their FSM doesn't mean that someone else is lying because unless you were at the school at and know otherwise then you can't say it didnt happen.

[CorrinaKedavra]

TheSnowFairy that's interesting about Ever6, thanks.

[burberryqueen]

thank you caffeinedrip, and ezza when i used 'flag' i was quoting from another post.

[JemimaMuddledUp]

I don't think these days anyone would realise as children don't tend to hand over cash to pay for their lunches. At least they don't at my DC's school.

We qualified for free school meals when I was at secondary school. You had to tell the cashier your FSM number instead of paying cash and it was quite embarrasing. But I think things have changed since then.

[Wheresmycaffeinedrip]

And remember , there are thousands if not more children at hundreds of schools that are in receipt of meals. Surely it's perfectly believable that some of them are going to have had some negative responses. To say otherwise would be like saying that no one is ever ever wrong.

[Farewelltoarms]

The schools have to report the results of FSM children in a separate section. If your kids have FSM and supportive parents and are doing well at their work, then the school would be absolutely delighted and thrilled. They're not going to assume they're doomed to failure, quite the contrary. They will be overjoyed and do everything they can to enhance their achievement further.

[Farewelltoarms]

PS my kids in a school with 50% FSM. PP has absolutely transformed the school's budgets and really helped the life chances of children receiving additional one-to-one support.

[Ezza1]

To which you responded that it is a most definite flag burberry.

I'm intrigued as to how claiming something like free school meals can be a negative thing for a family and exactly what sort of intervention happens if they are claimed. Does the same not apply with things like childrens tax credit or the Healthy Start vouchers? All of which I have claimed at some point or other over the years when a single parent incidentally. I have never had any problems, my children have never been bullied or treated differently by friends or teachers.

I'm shocked that in 2013 people still stigmatise or have a fear of claiming something they are perfectly entitled to.

[TrinityRhino]

everyone knows if your kids has FSM or not around here

when they take register they take dinner money so kids see which ones dont pay

but it doesn't matter

if it matters to someone then it is their problem not yours

[HappyMummyOfOne]

BQ, i agree it can be a flag. Children on FSM are classed as being deprived and likely to be in a non working household so obviously if agencies liks SS are involved its used as an indicator no different to being used in school as an indictator. The school has the pupil premium to spend on these children as past results show they are likely to far worse in exams and outcomes that non FSM children. Schools have to justify how they have spent this money to improve outcomes.

Agree with the poster who says that staff would know who is eligible even if they dont claim as they would know if the parents worked or not as children talk etc.

[BrokenSunglasses]

If I were allowed to claim FSMs for my children, I'd jump at the chance!

They are at secondary schools that use a cashless system and their accounts would be topped up automatically without anyone except school staff being aware.

My income is pretty much the same as it would be if I claimed child tax credits, except it is earned rather than claimed. I think it's unfair that my children are penalised and denied something that other children are entitled to when their families income is almost exactly the same. It becomes even more discriminatory when families who are entitled to FSMs can also get help with paying for trips and their children can get extra tuition lessons.

The whole thing needs to be reformed, and entitlement to FSMs should be based on parental income, not where that income comes from.

[Feenie]

ok "IME" that is what happened, how's that?

I don't think you should have to explain, either - but can't take your comments seriously without an explanation. They were very bold and unusual claims, after all.

[burberryqueen]

well my children didnt see a penny of benefit from PP when i was not working in their year 6.....
children could only attend after school clubs if their parents paid up front for half a term at a time.

[burberryqueen]

they are not 'bold and unusual' claims at all.

[Feenie]

They really are. You said children may be at risk of:

1. being judged as uneducated and feckless - that's ridiculous - one of my FSM last year was top of the class in everything and went on to a top private school in Y6, paid for by a relative. Some are able, some are average, and some need extra support. It's an emotive comment and needs substantiating - by whom, for example? Could you say it hypothetically?
   2)assumptions being made about the children - like what? And by whom? As others have said, the list of children who receive FSM is so diverse that it would be impossible.
   3)risk of being treated differently by the class teachers - what do you mean, exactly? Treated differently how?

[burberryqueen]

ok so you are a primary school teacher - I see.
perhaps in your school these things do not happen but all I am saying is that i felt judged by one class teacher who spoke to me like rubbish, and I do not think that would have happened without FSM. I also had a teacher using this information as a mark against me to SS.
that is merely my experience and opinion, which will of course differ from yours.

[burberryqueen]

and it was ME who was judged as uneducated and feckless not the children!!

[AmberLeaf]

You don't get flagged to SS for FSMs alone, if you were, then there were other factors at play.

I think the more extreme opinions/issues on FSMs say more about the individuals feelings about what it means than anything else TBH.

[Feenie]

perhaps in your school these things do not happen but all I am saying is that i felt judged by one class teacher who spoke to me like rubbish, and I do not think that would have happened without FSM.

I'm really sorry that you felt that way - but how do you know it was because of FSM? Someone that horrible wouldn't stop at being exclusively nasty just to FSM parents/children.

I respect that your experiences and opinions will be different from mine - but as a teacher, I am having difficulty imagining the end of that sentence to SS 'And of course, he/she is on FSM so........'

[BackforGood]

burberry - I don't know when your dc were in Yr6, but the Pupil Premium money (and the way it is tracked) is a LOt different to the schools grants of even a few years ago.