To wonder why it takes men more than 5 minutes to have a poo??

[natwebb79]

Just that really. If you need one enough to go to the loo surely it shouldn't take that long?!?! (Obviously I'm not including people with bowel conditions in this).

Astr0naut three every workday morning?!

Where does he work? Either somewhere very stressful, or as a chili pepper taster I'd wager.

Sorry, weekday/weekend. But still.

I have ibs so it's normally a pretty speedy event, but now I'm 24 weeks pregnant and have the worst constipation ever. I keep wanting to go but then nothing happens (sob) so I'm in there for some time :( it's never relaxing "me time" either. I've either got toddler DS in there with me or "harridan with a stopwatch" boss on the warpath demanding to know where I've gone. It's not like I enjoy being stuck in works refrigerator sizes toilet ffs

My DH says it's because he has a hairy arse so the paperwork takes longer

Sorry, Should've said before he goes to work! He says it's healthy. One on waking up, one before shower and generally 'one last try' before he leaves.

Astr0naut what does the man eat for tea??

He must get up looking like Russell Grant, and head off to work looking like Russell Brand.

I think I read on here once that women are also quicker because we have more muscles in our nether regions so are better at pushing it all out. The vaginal muscles act as a fuel injection system; men just have a carburetor.

Saturday night dh found suspicious bruises on his leg. We worked out they are from his elbow where he has been holding his kindle whilst sitting on the loo. If you are in long enough to bruise you are in too long!

I have no idea - and given that my DH poos 5 times a day he spends most of his waking hours in the loo.....he's in there for bloody hours, we have entire conversations through a locked door, it's the only way I can speak to him I am exaggerating but not much

Some of you seem to be married to men who spend their entire waking hours pooing.

Oops. Just repeated what SirChenjin said

Because they can.

my ex was always ages on the loo because he had ring the coastguards to warn them there was a shipping hazard on the way