To think there's something not quite right with my baby

[ButteryJam]

HV, GP and DH all make me feel like I'm an over worrying hypochondriac mother

My LO has been very very fussy right from the very start, very alert and a little bit colicky (but definitely not colic). Now she is 13 weeks and has the following:

• episodes of screaming in pain for up to two hours, and won't settle unless I give her calpol. This occurs in the morning too. But it's all very unpredictable
• excessive (sometimes up to 50) hiccups at least twice a day
• refuses feeding (even if feed time) when in the state of crying
• tends to only feed when either asleep or very sleepy
• naps are so short, sometimes just 10-20 min, and a very very sensitive sleeper (I have to keep the house phone off and literally tiptoe around her)
• has had a sniffly nose, watery eyes almost constantly
• coughing during feeds or after
• and just generally not very happy, though does have some very happy smiley moments too

I'm a first time mum, so please tell me, is this all completely normal? HV told me earlier on in the week to stop looking for what may be wrong but just accept I am very unlucky to have this type of a baby.

(Tongue and lip tie were removed around 10 weeks so its not that).

[MisselthwaiteManor]

Yes, it sounds like reflux! I had this with my baby and I can't even count how many doctors said as log as she's gaining weight she's fine. When they're in pain and crying they're clearly not fine! It was such a battle to get any help. In the end I took her to the walk-in which is attached to the hospital and they sent us to the paed ward where she was diagnosed and given ranitidine which has changed her. Try and get a paed referral or do as I did and just go to the hospital, I found the paed doctor a million times more helpful than the GPs.

[meddie]

Butteryjam. if your baby needs pain relief then give it to her. please dont feel guilty about that. Its been used extensively in children for many years and the odd dose is not a problem. much better that she is comfy and pain free than suffering.

[pianodoodle]

I hate the way first time mum's can get patronised or dismissed as being hypochondriacs you're not stupid and you know your baby well enough to decide when all isn't right!

[FixItUpChappie]

I know there is no scientific evidence that it works but I felt that gripe water did help DS1. Worth a try anyhow.

[pianodoodle]

Mums even. Stupid phone edits in apostrophes for me.

[MisselthwaiteManor]

I suggested reflux and ranitidine to my GP before going to the walk in and he read me a list of side affects froma
book, which include impotence. I wanted to hit him on the head with it. GPs can be great but some don't seem to
know what to do with babies.

[SoulTrain]

A health visitor said to me practically the same thing when DS was 12 weeks and miserable allllll the time. She said "you need to make your peace with the fact you've had a miserable baby."

He had reflux.

You don't live on the south coast do you?!

[ChippingInHopHopHop]

I'm sorry you and DD are going through this :(


Your HV, along with many others, needs to find herself another job.

If it were me, the first thing I would do would be to make an appointment with a cranial osteopath specialising in babies. They can work wonders for many different things.

If this doesn't work, I'd make a private Paed. apt. or go to a different GP. But they are GP's not Paed's and many of them aren't that great with babies.

[HumphreyCobbler]

VenusRising - drugging her up? Honestly, I think that is uncalled for. It also sounds as if the OP spends her whole life holding her child up or otherwise trying to make her child feel better.

Do hope you get some effective help soon ButteryJam.

[monkeymamma]

Hey OP, I just wanted to say you are doing a brilliant job and definitely keep going with GP and HV until you get some help. Trust your instincts but also please try not to worry, enjoy your baby and realise what a super job you're doing.

My Ds had a lot of similar symptoms at that age and I too had the feeling things weren't quite right. At 4mo he started getting other symptoms too and I couldn't get much help with them (referral to paed took 6weeks and I was miserable with worry). In the meantime a quite junior doc suggested cutting out dairy. In the end I cut out dairy, soya, beef and egg, and his symptoms disappeared. I had to be pretty pushy but finally got a referral to a dietician who helped us in re-introducing these foods into DS's diet (well, introducing iyswim, he'd had them via my milk but by the time we introduced these foods he was eating solids). He now eats all these foods no problems, save egg which we're in the process of introducing. He's 19mo now.

Just to say, and I have no idea at all whether your baby has similar probs or something quite different, but if you have cut dairy it will take longer than 2 weeks to clear your system. Also, you should definitely insist you and baby need to see a dietician because you shouldn't be cutting out any major food groups without dietetic support. Especially when bfeeding, you will get super run down!

Whatever happens you still have a gorgeous baby and you are a gorgeous mummy too, hopefully you can get some help which will make feeding and life generally a bit easier.

Also just to say it all gets easier when they're able to understand more and aren't so tiny (I'm loving the toddler stage, so much easier!)

X

[CrazyOldCatLady]

It does sound very like silent reflux. I had two refluxers so I know how hard it is!

If I were you I'd go back to the GP and insist on a referral to a paed. You need a specialist to deal correctly with extreme reflux, I've never met a GP who had a clue about it.

If you want to try some things yourself, there are options. Infant Gaviscon is available over the counter. It thickens the stomach contents and makes them less likely to come back up. Cow and Gate Carobel is similar product (which we actually found far more effective). If you try one of those and it works, you've got your answer, and your treatment! (though on the other hand, if they don't work, that doesn't rule out reflux, it just means you might need something on prescription, or a special formula).

Whatever you do, don't accept that you just have a grumpy baby. If she's crying it's for a reason and she deserves help!

[fishandmonkey]

sorry if this has been covered - have only been able to skim read the thread.
i know you said you gave up dairy. have you completely given up dairy? by that i mean anything with milk protein in (most bread for instance has whey powder in). my dd had similar symptoms and i thought i'd given up dairy but i was still having hidden dairy. after 2 weeks with absolutely no dairy, soya, goats milk, i had a new baby.
i was also told to just accept i had a fussy baby but trust your instincts. you are the mum. you know. good luck to you both.

[LostInWales]

Not a lot to add apart from monkeymamma speaks a lot of sense and if you feel your child is in pain the give her the appropriate dose of calpol.

Hang in there you are going a great job, I wish I had MN 11 years ago because my DS2 was just like yours and the only help I had from my health visitor was the useful comment that if I would only take anti depressants he would improve . I paid for a private paediatrician that specialised in the digestive system and within a month we were sorted with a mix of meds and no dairy/soya. He's a lovely, sporty and bright 11 year old now which I would never have believed possible when he cried for approximately 9 months without pausing for breath!

Just keep repeating to yourself the MN mantra 'this too shall pass', you are doing brilliantly.

[hettienne]

Cranial osteopaths are, um... magic. I'd rather go with medicine personally!

[LiegeAndLief]

Another vote for silent reflux from someone whose baby had it. Ds was on domperidone, ranitidine and gaviscon. Lots of coughing and snuffling and grunting in his sleep, nev slept well, was happiest upright in sling or lying on someone's chest. Fortunately he was diagnosed in SCBU so we never had to battle with the GP.

Oh, and he put on weight at a phenomenal weight despite all that! I think often hvs or gps just look at the growth chart and if that's ok they don't care.

[IneedAsockamnesty]

It did sound like the calpol was a very regular thing in the op. not just 3 times in 13 weeks.

[5amisnotmorning]

Trust your instincts.

We ended up going privately to a paediatrician at great ormond street who told us that DD had classic symptoms of food intolerances and to cut out dairy and soya.

He said that food intolerance presents as runny, greeny or yellow poo and often sleep is most interrupted in the early hours of the morning as that is when the bowel is most active.

It sounds like all the symptoms of reflux from my experience so please don't let them fob you off and ignore the porters who have clearly never had a child with reflux and quite honestly can just have no idea!

[JassyRadlett]

Another saying this sounds like silent reflux. In DS it manifested in him screaming in pain exactly 7 minutes into every feed. Which meant that he was starving again within two hours, repeat horrible process.

But because he was gaining weight ok, GP and HVs didn't want to know. Don't rely on them being right just because they're saying the same thing.

Cutting dairy made no difference for DS, but def worth a try.

Good luck! You sound like you're doing an amazing job for your baby.

[SHarri13]

My youngest was the same and in his case we think it is/ was dairy. I also suspect soya too ( 50% of babies who are sensitive to dairy are the sane with soya). We had some success with cutting absolutely all dairy out inc hidden/ baked dairy.

I found getting a HCP to listen was a nightmare and by the time one did my husband had private health insurance through work so it was sorted very quickly.

I think a GP appointment with a different GP might be a good start if at all possible?

[CruCru]

OP, I have the number for a private paediatrician in north London recommended a little while ago by friends. Please PM me if you would like it.

[changeforthebetter]

Oh OP that sounds tough

I firmly believe mothers know their babies a lot better than anyone else and deserve to be listened to and taken seriously. You carried her, gave birth to and feed her with your own body - you are the expert here (and if you FF you'd still be the expert)

No experience of reflux but hope you are able to get this sorted for you and DD's sake.

[Fakebook]

Another vote for silent reflux here. DS had very similar symptoms and a couple of doses of infant gaviscon sorted him out. You're the baby's mother and your instincts are always right. Go to the doctor again and tell her/him what you think the problem is and to try gaviscon or something similar to just try. It won't do her any harm to try.

You have to sometimes be really forthright to get treated on the NHS.

[Acepuppets]

I have no idea about the cause of the symptoms but I do know that sometimes a mother's instinct can pick things up before anyone else can. I would keep trying to find out the cause until the gut feeling is settled.

Best wishes

[thebody]

agree silent reflux and can I add your HV is a disgrace.

could your dh or partner take your dd to the GP with you? demand a referral as its your complete right.

sad to say but some GPs tend to ignore or patronise mums but not dads. //😡

you sound a great mom. go for it.

[flatmum]

grrr makes me so angry the HVs and GPs are so useless with this. as I said earlier my ds3 was like your dd and is now on a dairy free diet (age 3). the first 6 months were really hard until we got him diagnosed and on the ranatidine which helped a fair bit. he was my third! you are doing brilliantly you just need to keep on at them to refer you to a paed. my ds eventually started losing lots of weight and dropping off the bottom of the charts (could never finish a feed) and I still couldn't get them to do anything. they were talking about "maybe" referring him for "failure to thrive" until one weekend when he was about 5 and a half months it all came to a head. he was in so much pain and screamed for hours we took him to the out of hours clinic at the hospital. they took one look at him (skin and bones) and sent us through to children's a&e. There we were really lucky as the doctor on duty was still training and was going to specialise in paediatrics. she took one look at him and the symptoms and said "this baby has got silent reflex" and prescribed gaviscon. we saw the paed on the Monday who gave him ranatidine and it all got rapidly better from there. He also persuaded me to stop trying to bf and put him on dairy free formula.

I think it was all really caused by his underlying dairy intolerance. but it still annoys me now all those weeks of pain and upset when noone helped us. I feel bad that he was in pain all that time, but he is the happiest toddler now, I promise you.