to feel like throwing up whenever I have to eat other people's home cooked food

[gettngbetter]

A lady in work baked a cake the other day and brought it in to share around. I accepted a slice as not to seem rude and said I'd have it later with my lunch as I'd just eaten. Then when no one was looking I wrapped it in a napkin and threw it in the bin.

I don't know why exactly but eating something that someone baked at home makes me feel ill. How do I know how hygienic they are? I'm not overly obsessed with hygiene or germs but i dont like the thought of someone I dont know very well touching the food with their hands.

If I'm in a restaurant I have no problem eating anything - even though if I think about it rationally the chef there could be very unhygienic! I've read horror stories about restaurants having to be shut down because they were endangering people's health.

Sometimes I'm in a situation where I feel obliged to accept and eat something - and there's no way of disposing of it - I try to gulp it down as quickly as possible.

I admit it's a bit weird to feel like this - Does anyone have the same issues. Or does anyone else have similar weird phobias? My friend is totally freaked out by cotton wool (I find that weird!)

[farrowandbawl]

Nor I Oblomov.

At least with homemade stuff you can see the kitchen where it's been made, go in the fridge etc.

You can't go into restaurant kitchens, stores, fridges etc.

[Chivetalking]

Talk of hair in food has reminded me of the tuna and pube fusion dish I was invited to indulge in at a friend's house years back...

[Floggingmolly]

Dear God Chive!!

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

OU wouldn't want to eat in my house. Dog hair is a condiment!

[Consils]

I want to hear more horror stories about factory made food.

I once found a smoked cigarette butt in a vegetable samosa at a posh deli in Oxford and a friend at college found a toenail in a pot noodle.

[farrowandbawl]

Anyone remember the Life of Grime series? That put me off eating out for a long time.

[expatinscotland]

I agree unreservedly with motherinferior.

The level of normalising of these types of phobias is shocking.

[Mintyy]

"I could never buy a cake from a cake stall - the idea of not knowing who made it puts me off completely. Same applies to jam."

What about loaves of bread you buy in a supermarket?
Or biscuits
Or a Mr Kipling almond slice

Do you personally know all the people who make these?

[Beastofburden]

Getting back to the OP- I think we have established that this is not a rational fear, so technically, yes, YABU, but that does not mean we have no sympathy for it.

Do we feel that it is a harmless enough phobia? Many posters seem to, and in fact quite a few would disagree that it is any kind of phobia, saying that their position is rational. (Which for the few horror stories about many kitchens it is, but we also know that it would be rational to fear dirty commercial kitchens too).

I think the advice here is that you should think twice before deciding to live like this long term. Home cooking is important and your kids will have a much unhealthier life if they learn to avoid it. And other food issues may become more of a risk, in an atmosphere of tension and fear around certain types of food.

I would say that it would be worth some counselling to get past this. I do understand how these irrational things can grip, but I don't think you ought to accept your current state of mind as normal and harmless, or even, as justified.

[Beastofburden]

Many=manky

[gettngbetter]

OP here -

Movingonandup - I like your post - it makes sense to me. It is very irrational behaviour. My brain knows that home cooked food has been handled no less than something cooked in a restaurant - but I somehow don't accept this .

This dislike does not negatively impact on my life. I'd go for dinner in someone's house but if they are not family members then I wouldn't 100% enjoy eating the food but I'd enjoy the occasion and talking to friends.

I don't agree that I should always refuse food offered to me. A friend baked some cup cakes recently. I was at her house and she knew I was hungry and she knows I have a sweet tooth - so she offered one to me. I felt I had to say yes and eat it. I would have offended her if I said - 'no thanks, I hate eating home-cooked food'. I don't think my friend is unclean at all - and I don't think there is any more germs on her cupcakes than any other food.

This is nothing to do with germs. I'm not afraid of germs. I'm not worried about getting food poisoning. I suppose in the same way someone with a fear of spiders isn't afraid of getting bitten - they have an irrational horror.

If someone in work is putting some food from home in the microwave I'd feel mildly repulsed if I saw it or smelled it. But I wouldn't mind the smell of food from a packet as much - ideally I'd prefer not to have to smell any food in work.

This doesn't affect my DC's because they don't know I feel this way. Most people don't.

I know a lot of people can't understand my feelings on this - but can you honestly say you are completely 'normal'. I'd say most of us have at least one strange quirk or fear or habit.

[frogwatcher42]

I don't care so much about whether the food I eat in restaurants is safe (a high temp will presumably get rid of most things) but I really really hate the thought of bogies, vomit (thanks farrow!), wee or sperm floating in my food. My understanding is that, whilst not common, this can happen in some restaurants if you piss off the waiter, and in some food factories where people sneak it in for a laugh. But I could be wrong - I know this was the case years ago but things may have changed now.

Personally, after seeing the lads weeing on the lettuces in the back field as they pick them for the shops, and next doors dog shit being thrown over the fence onto the lettuce field on a daily basis, I now grow my own salad!!!

[frogwatcher42]

Or maybe everything I heard was a myth (although wasnt there some research in the late 90s which found these things in some bought food?????).

[singersgirl]

I agree with expat and motherinferior. What's astonishing to me is the sheer number of posters who've come on to say that they feel the same way. Everyone understands that phobias aren't rational. But it surprises me that so many people seem to live with them without seeking help. Mind you, I feel that way about all the phobia threads on here. You do know that you can get treatment for phobias? My friend had her fear of spiders successfully neutralised. She still doesn't like them much, but she can pick them up and remove them from the house etc without transmitting her fear to her children.

[Procrastinating]

OP I'm just the same as you describe. It affects nobody else and nobody would even know. The thought of getting counselling is ridiculous, I think I'm well within the range of 'normal'.

[Procrastinating]

I have a phobia of needles that will not shift whatever I do. Easy enough not to transfer phobias to children - you don't tell them and you don't show it.

[motherinferior]

No, it's not 'normal'. Really it isn't. Most people, faced with a piece of home made cake, are not irrationally repulsed. That's precisely why schools have cake sales.

If I tell you that I am utterly terrified of walking over Blackfriars Bridge in London, or over any high bridge over a motorway, and that I can only do so by looking straight ahead and clutching someone's hand - and that I quite often have to plan routes accordingly - you are not going to reassure me that it's normal. Because it isn't. It is a pointless and nasty phobia which most people don't have.

[Procrastinating]

None of us is entirely rational, that is just human. It is only a problem if it makes you miserable or restricts your life in some way.
I don't want to go to dinner parties so therefore the food thing isn't a problem.
Your bridge fear must be fairly common, you have strategies so that is fine.

[FrauMoose]

My mother's food fears are slightly different. It's a conviction that certain foods are 'bad' for her health/her body - although she has never been put on a special diet of any kind by any physician.

She is a vegetarian (not the fish-eating kind.) She believes that eggs disagree with her. Soft cheeses are also on her list of forbidden/disagreeable foods.

Onions, garlic, spices, citrus fruit, vinegar strawberries, apples and cabbage are out. So are pulses.

There seem to be stricter rules for the rare occasions when she eats out - tomatoes are off the menu.

Fried food is also a no-no. Nuts of all kinds have also recently been put on the banned list.

No alcohol, coffee or drinking chocolate can be imbibed. Weak tea is okay, though hot water is her usual beverage of choice. No orange juice.

So visiting her for a meal is a rather odd experience, as it usually consists of bread, plain pasta, hard cheese and cake -plus, possibly some boiled vegetables . Taking her out for a meal consists of her deciding out loud which dishes on the menu will be least toxic - which is not exactly fun for her fellow diners. As a guest she is a nightmare, because no matter how many efforts are made to accommodate her preferences she will always say that my cooking has disagreed with her and I have to listen to a lengthy analysis of the possible culprits.

[Yonionekanobe]

I started a thread a couple of years ago (under a different username given it was MN pre-Yoni) a I had a colleague who brought cakes in and iced them in the staff kitchen locking her fingers between each one. I also mentioned she didn't wash the fruit that she stuck on top. I got flamed for suggesting this was a problem! Where were you OP!!?

[elfycat]

I have a 5 star rating for the hygiene of my kitchen if that's any help. I do a complementary therapy that counts as 'food' from home. In fact I've just walked out of my dettol sprayed kitchen from doing my official food prep I don't normally dettol spray before my own food

Would you like a cookie?

But of course YANU for feeling that way about anything. We all have our likes and dislikes. YABU for throwing cake away. I'm on a fast day of my 5:2 diet and that's a cruel thing to tell me.

[solarbright]

I have a friend with a similar issue, though some restaurants bother her, too. I do lots of home cooking, but when she visits we go out to restaurants or a supermarket. For every meal, even breakfast. She really can't help it, and now that I know what the issue is, it doesn't bother me that she considers my homemade soup a bubbling cauldron of disease. That's just her, and the kids and DH still eat it up happily.

Have you just told people, especially good friends offering you well-meaning cupcakes? Just tell them you have a phobia, it doesn't make sense but there it is. They may still forget and offer sometimes, but it's not like you can help it.

I'm sure your friends would either understand or at least stop torturing you with their cakes. :)

[nooka]

OP, no one is saying you should always refuse if you are able on occasions when it really matters to eat the offering, but please stop taking food and then throwing it away.

If you don't care that you are missing out on lots of really good things, then no I suppose it doesn't affect your life that much.