To think DS (4) should wear a life jacket on a canal boat?

[BoyMeetsWorld]

Ok, genuinely looking for your opinions as I freely admit I can be a paranoid Mum.

ExP & his parents regularly take our DS (4) on the family canal boat, sometimes just for short trips sometimes for longer holidays. They actively encourage him to help with the locks etc & he has free run. None of the adults onboard can swim (they never learned) & DS told me today that since he putgrew his infant life jacket 2 years ago they haven't bought him a new one.

Am I being unreasonable to expect him to have (& wear) a life jacket?

Would like your thoughts before I raise it with ExP

[hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman]

I spent many, many years in and on the water, I was a trained lifeguard and I agree, YANBU. He needs to wear a lifejacket.

I was a canoeist many moons ago and a friend of ours drowned while out canoeing alone. It wasn't until he went missing that we learned he couldn't swim, he was wearing a buoyancy aid but it wasn't enough to save his life.

[FairPhyllis]

And tbh I'd be extremely about letting him go even with a lifejacket if nobody else can swim. If he fell in, it would be unlikely he could climb out by himself because canals and particularly locks often have steep sides, and you can be caught by unexpected currents.

Are XPILs experienced narrowboaters?

[Lovethesea]

He should definitely wear one when not inside the boat. While on deck or on shore near the lock, you wear it. Simple. Locks are awful if done wrong, very easy to be crushed between the boat and the sides if you fall in - there would be one chance to grab someone and pull them back onboard, no chance if they went straight under with the flow of water without a lifejacket on.

[trixymalixy]

YADDDDDDDNBU

[Bumbez]

My Grandparents took myself aged 14, and my cousin aged 9 so we would do all the locks away on a canal holiday many years ago. She fell in and I got my leg hideously squished between two barges.

Yanbu !

[Eyesunderarock]

Buy the life jacket, that way you know it's the right size and sort. Make a fuss with your DS about how fantastic and sailorly he looks, google a few images and make sure he's very keen on it.
Then he'll wear it and see it as part of his special kit for holidays aboard.
Yes, he should be wearing one, irrespective of any adult swimmers, or whether he can swim strongly.

[JADS]

Yanbu. In my eyes being non swimmers, they should all be wearing life jackets.

I would get him one yourself if they don't cooperate.

[frogwatcher42]

YANBU in that of course he should wear a life jacket. As somebody who spends a lot of time on and around water, I would not hesitate in stating that.

However, imo you ABU in expecting in laws to buy it, or even ex partner (depending on his/her circumstances). I am surprised you have only just found out that ds life jacket doesn't fit anymore (don't you remind him to use it when he goes, or ask to check when he returns?). I supply jackets with my children when they go on friends boats or around the water with in laws. I automatically see it as my responsibility and also I like to know that they are fitted correctly and fit for purpose.

[Iaintdunnuffink]

Yanbu. My family owned a boat when we were kids and we often used to spend weekends on it. I've seen numerous adults, children and dogs fall in, especially at locks.

[BoyMeetsWorld]

Wow thanks everyone!

Some great advice here.

I've messages ExP about it and he's so far completely ignored me.

They've owned the narrow boat for many years & it's a huge part of their life - basically all holidays and most weekends are spent in the boat. Yes, ExPILs are experienced narrow boaters.

I wasn't overly comfortable with him being in it at all without any swimmers onboard, but as ExP has joint parental responsibility I don't think I have a leg to stand on - he can do pretty much what he likes legally (within reason) - but it does scare me silly.

Unfortunately they keep a lot from me & I have had issues with their irresponsibility. Quite recently I had a fight on my hands because ExP was taking DS out on a dirt bike trail motorbike & wanted to get him a mini moto. & now this

I'm giving him a few days to reply, will ask him in person then buy DS a life jacket myself & tell him mummy says he has to wear it around the boat. But I can't control it when he's with them

I am also considering printing this thread for ExP as I know he'll make out I'm being crazy & obstructive.

Does anyone know whether, legally, id stand any chance at all of getting an order drawn up stating that DS can't go on the boat without a life jacket (& poss that he can't go on motorbikes without my consent) until a certain age?? As a last resort only.

[facedontfit]

They are unbelievably irresponsible and crazy

[justmyview]

A quiet word with staff on the canal - ask them to do some random spot checks ?

[Notcontent]

Yes, yes , yes !!!!!!!!!

Even if he is a good swimmer, he still needs one. And as others have said, it needs to be a proper life jacket. Because he could fall, bang his head and then in the water he needs something that will keep his head above water.

I feel sick just thinking about your little boy not having one.

[curlew]

Another sailing family here- life jackets at all times. And certainly round locks- the water is very deep and as the walls are so steep, rescue can take a bit longer.

[MagicHouse]

Yes you can legally object to him going on the canal boat without a life jacket. Do you have a health visitor? I would raise it with her initially - show her all your unanswered messages and ask her advice. Tbh I think the situation would be the opposite of what you think, in that you MUST insist that he wears the jacket or that he cannot go on the boat - I think in this situation, where the risks are life threatening, you need to be active in ensuring that your son is safe.

[pigletmania]

I would be very reluctant to send him to ex as he cannt be trusted to keep ds safe. Totally irresponsible. Definitely buy the life jacket and insist to ex that ds wares it or you will stop contact

[SlangWhangering]

Of course he should wear one. I am a bit shocked you even have to ask.

It falls into the NOT negotiable pile along with car seats.

Life jackets are so comfortable an unobtrusive these days it is no problem to wear them.

[LaurenSquealer]

I always avoided narrowboats, along with most other kinds, as I'm a non-swimmer. I was very surprised to fnd out that several narrowboat owners I've met through a friend can't swim!

Apparently canals are fairly shallow anyway, and the lock parts are equally dangerous for swimmers/non-swimmers, they're not worried about it! But as kidds can drown in even shallow water they should be protected.

[scarlettanager]

Just buy him one rather than getting into debate with exP.

[SpiderCharlotte]

Do you think you can trust your ex to make him wear it even if you buy it? I'm go smacked that any parent would take this risk with their childs life and to be honest, he wouldn't be going if he mine unless he proved to be more responsible.

[CSIJanner]

YANBU

Have done a bit of digging. the pnly thing I can find is that there is no legal requirement for wearing life jackets on private boats, but if anything happens to your son, the captain is legally liable and can be sued if they haven't made adequate safety provision. I also found something saying that there needs to be an adequate number of life jackets available on a oat even if they weren't worn (however this might be regulations for a commercial than private boat)

Had a quick ganders on eBay - jackets are going for about £17 inc P&P

[Poppy4453]

No life jacket, no boat I'm afraid.

I would be getting him swimming lessons pronto.

[Poppy4453]

If they protest then I would be asking them to demonstrate their life saving skills in our local canal with a doll. You can throw the doll in and they can save it's life.

[imnotmymum]

He is 4!! Of course he should

[Lweji]

I think you are justified in cutting contact if your DS doesn't wear the jacket.

Ask him if he could live with the consequences of an accident.