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AIBU?

To think that if your child has headlice, you should warn people?

35 replies

KirjavaTheCat · 25/07/2013 09:10



The child we've caught them off is family. OH's 4yo sister. MIL came to stay for a week, and said nothing the whole time. There are no other candidates from which we could have caught them, MIL sports a shaved head and DS hasn't had contact with his usual playmate in a couple of weeks, just her.

A heads (no pun intended) up would have been bloody nice. By the end of the week DS was scratching and I checked his hair, couldn't find anything and put it down to him having got a bit of sand in his hair the day before, now understanding the strange embarrassed look MIL had.

I'm now facing the two-week nit purge on mixed-race hair and my own. Lovely jubbly. Angry
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DumSpiroSpero · 26/07/2013 11:03

You haven't mentioned how you found out that your DS definitely caught them from SIL - did MIL tell you?

It's presumably not impossible that he may have picked them up just before she came to stay and they went unnoticed initially?

I only say this as a couple of months ago I had a text from a friend saying something along the lines of 'Don't mean to be unkind but every time our kids play together I find mine has headlice - just thought you should know.' I know because we check regularly that my DD hasn't had them since Christmas (we have thick hair and mine is curly so I keep my eye on it as I know how hellish the bloody things are to get rid of).

I was really upset tbh and although we've not fallen out over it, we've not seen each other since (only due to work/school stuff - kids are at different ones) and I feel it's just going to be a massive elephant in the room when we do.

However if you're sure that's how he got them then of course YANBU. We've been using tea tree shampoo and conditioner since DD's last bout and it seems to have made a big difference.

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ThePowerof3 · 26/07/2013 10:51

I bloody hate nits, they are so difficult to get rid of. Presuming she came to stay at yours knowing DD had nits then that it outrageous? If she knew then why wasn't she treating them? My DDs have had it once from my very tight curled hair niece but her mum only found out she had them once they'd already been passed on

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pingusmumtoo · 26/07/2013 10:50

We took my DSD on holiday two weeks ago (after much pleading with her mum) and had to bring her back half way through holiday as 'sschool would not let her have last three days of term off' - holiday was my mum's big treat for the whole family so there were my parents, brother 1, wife and their 4 (they live in another country) brother 2, wife and their baby and me DP, DS and DSD! Fantastic holiday - marred only by early departure of DSD. We picked up DSD the weekend we got home and only then her mum tells us she had nits - they've been going round school!
Brother 1's family absolutely riddled with them and the three girls plus mum have the longest thickest hair I've ever seen.
Everyone else in family now warned and suitably treated
Deeply suspicious her mum knew before we went on holiday
Scratch
Scratch

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ReindeerBollocks · 26/07/2013 09:52

This thread is making me itch.

I always treat and double treat a week later, combing every day in between the two. It is difficult but not impossible to get rid of them.

Our school have set days for checking for nits, but I also do it intermittently to ensure they are nit free.

And yes, when mine have had them in the past I always tell the school and close friends so that they can check their DC too. This is normally after I have found them and have done a first treatment.

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Rooners · 26/07/2013 08:34

Oh we comb as well as the lotion. I quite enjoy it except on my hair

And sometimes we do it two weeks later as well if there seem to be any left. Once the comb is clear I stop doing the lotion.

Kreecher I wonder if you know the same people as us...! Are they very cloak and dagger about the 24 hour rule as well?

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toomanyfionas · 26/07/2013 00:39

You are so not being unreasonable. Breathtakingly inconsiderate of her.

I've had this from, surprise surprise the same people who bring their stomach bug kids to play, again feigning ignorance.

Needless to say we steer well clear of them now.

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curlew · 26/07/2013 00:21

I doesn't seem to bevwidely known that the are a lot of people who can have lice itching- you have to be sensitive to them to itch- and I think it's 50% of people aren't.

And on average, a child will have had lice for 3 months before it becomes noticeable. So all the "it must have been x child" stories are just not right.

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NoComet · 26/07/2013 00:18

They were so endemic at DDs primary school no one ever bothered to mention them and school gave up sending out letters.

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SummerHoliDidi · 26/07/2013 00:16

There's a boy in my form at school who seems to be constantly riddled with them. His mum doesn't manage to get rid of them all, and he can't manage it himself.

Dd1 had them for ages once and I didn't notice/she didn't say anything. It took forever to get them out of her hair, and even then I had to cut her waist length thick hair into a bob (myself Shock) before I managed to get rid of them all. It was a sad day for both of us.

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3birthdaybunnies · 26/07/2013 00:08

The children in the class all know who often has nits. Dd1 caught them once, but in her class there are notes home about 10-15 times a year, not had one for dd2 in her 2 yrs there. The particular child is leaving so will be interesting to see if they remain nit free now.

Your MIL should have warned you and in the week that she was staying you could have helped get rid of them, daily tallys of number of headlice killed, could be quite fun to do together.

Feeling itchy now...

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IneedAsockamnesty · 26/07/2013 00:02

There's so much misinformation out there about nits. Nits only lay one egg a day, so if a child is riddled with them they've been there a good while

Not true, the average adult female louse lays approx 6 eggs per day the eggs hatch after about 7-10 days and reach maturity after about 8 days each adult louse lives for about 32 days.


They can also get about at the rate of about 9 inches per minute and don't object to doing so.

Also a nit is the hatched egg and the egg is laid by a louse.

If you are treating using nothing other than lotion you are not treating correctly even if you do it again a week later,your child will not be clear you just think they are.

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BoozyBear · 25/07/2013 23:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Xihha · 25/07/2013 23:17

I learnt from a previous thread that the treatment's available on prescription, so surely cost doesn't come into it?

Oooh I didn't know that, sadly I think with the best friends mum the cost is a convenient excuse for being too lazy as I offered to buy her some stuff when I had to treat my dd and she wasn't interested in doing it then.

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kreecherlivesupstairs · 25/07/2013 23:16

Boozy for Queen.
touch wood my DD hasn't had them for about a year. She used to come home riddled with the bloody things thanks to a parent who wouldn't treat them as it was her DHs job and, if he was out of the country on business, the children were running alive...

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PowerPants · 25/07/2013 22:48

Agree with BoozyBear.

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BoozyBear · 25/07/2013 20:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nannynewo · 25/07/2013 20:16

YADNBU. Everytime I babysit for a family and the child has had nits the parents will warn me, even if they think they have cleared them all. It is simply common courtesy.

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Iamnotmyself · 25/07/2013 13:14

You could probably clear the infestation properly if you used Hedrin or similar, Broomsticks. Then keep the spray as a deterrent and keep their hair tied up etc.

It is £££ though.

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BroomsticksAreForFlying · 25/07/2013 12:47

I use a spray of 200ml water and 10 drops tea tree oil every day and it's kept my dds clear. I stopped for a month when I'd run out and within a couple of weeks they were crawling again. I'd add the oil to your hair product and see if that helps keep them clear of the little devils. I hate head lice.

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Iamnotmyself · 25/07/2013 12:35

Well what not many people realise is the life cycle and how long it takes.

The treatments don't normally kill the eggs. So you kill the adults and babies, one week, then the eggs will hatch within 7 days, and you HAVE to treat again with the same stuff ONE WEEK later, to kill all the hatchlings, BEFORE they start laying eggs of their own (which they can do at a week old I think)

So if people just did what it says on the packet, it would be more likely to work.

I do find however that after 15 minutes of Hedrin, they are occasionally still alive - so I leave it on for more like 45 minutes to an hour. Then wash off. It doesn't hurt the person, it's not a toxic substance - it just suffocates the lice.

And it's FAR easier to get off with shampoo than Full marks (which I have to shampoo out about 4 times before it's gone)

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Fourwillies · 25/07/2013 12:12

There's so much misinformation out there about nits. Nits only lay one egg a day, so if a child is riddled with them they've been there a good while. Lice cannot fit, they walk. So actually it's much easier for boys with short hair to catch them, by having head to head contact, than girls with long hair as its further for the louse to walk. But once they're in long or very thick hair it's harder to get rid of them.
My son's teacher, with 30 years experience, stopped me and said she thought he had nits. He didn't, it was cradle cap but she said it "looks the same." It bloody doesn't!

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KirjavaTheCat · 25/07/2013 10:16

I discovered that last time Tantrums when he caught them off his cousin, it didn't work and had to wash it so much to get the damn stuff out that it broke most of his hair off as well Angry

I'm gonna condition and nitty-gritty, it's what worked last time. Ahh joy.

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claraschu · 25/07/2013 10:07

People don't take the trouble to really get rid of them. Lots of people say that their child "keeps catching" them, whereas really their children are just permanently infested. One or two treatments doesn't kill all of them.

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TantrumsAndBalloons · 25/07/2013 10:06

Mixed race hair and nit combing is a bloody nightmare.

I remember when dd was 6, there was headlice in the school for an entire year. We would spend hours combing, getting rid them, then 2 days later it was back.
The only time she was nit free was in the holidays.

Do you use olive oil spray or pink moisturizer in your DCs hair OP?
If you do, put more on Grin
It makes it harder for the head live to grip on.
Not impossible-just harder.

I found that because Afro hair is so thick and curly, the products are a waste of time. You would need twice the amount so we used olive oil conditioner and a nitty gritty comb. Every day. For a year.

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KirjavaTheCat · 25/07/2013 10:06

Just really annoyed she didn't say anything. She took her DD's braids out to let her scalp relax for a few days and didn't say a word, her and DS were cuddling up together at night for bedtime stories, no warning. Maybe we could have avoided it if I'd known, maybe not, but I find it really rude to just come and go without any thought for it.

Ugh. DS is at pre-school in September, is it as bad there, or does it all start at school?

And I learnt from a previous thread that the treatment's available on prescription, so surely cost doesn't come into it? I remember being the nitty kid, it wasn't nice, everyone knew Sad Kids always know.

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