AIBU 'only' charging my son £80 a month digs? What would you charge your child?

[4thfloor]

i had a thread on Friday on which a few people commented that £80 a month was way too low.

So I'm asking if you have grown up children living at home, how much do charge them in rent/digs/board and lodgings?

Our set up is

DS1 has just turned 20, he works 16 hours a week (minimum wage)

I ask for £80 a month

He pays for all his own food/juice/toiletries/clothes etc

He puts approx £300 a month into his savings account to go towards a deposit for a flat when he moves out rather than me taking the money for board and lodgings

So my question is AIBU for charging him so little in rent and allowing him to save for his future or am I doing the right thing?

If you have grown up children at home how much do you charge them per month?

[VitoCorleone]

At that age i worked full time and gave my mum £40 a week. So id say that sounds about right (£20 per week) for part time

[pussycatwillum]

DS1 paid us 25% of his earnings, whatever they were, until he moved out to get married. We will probably do the same with DS2. DD didn't really live at home after University.

[Edendance]

Unless you're really struggling yourself, that £80 is going to make a big difference to his £300 each month... Just a thought...

[storynanny]

It would barely cover the council tax increase from single to multi occupancy so it seems fair enough to be charging even just a nominal amount.

[dementedma]

Neither of my two have jobs - not for want of trying I should add. I don't take any money off them as they only get JSA. They use this for bus fares ( we are rural) and any toiletries, magazines, treats etc.
They look after dc3 for me from time to time bit that's about it.
If they were working it might be different

[IfIonlyhadsomesleep]

If our dc are at home as earning adults, we intend to charge them fairly but slightly below market rates for board and lodgings, but (unless we can't afford to) put the part of that which equates to rent, ie not used up on extra food, electricity etc, in a savings account for them for later on. I think living for too little at home might make their money management skills weaker later on but I wouldn't want to make money from my children either.

[tb]

In 1975, dh was paid £3366pa, and his net pay was about £180/month. He gave his parents £80, and also paid the electricity and gas bills, and bought a car on credit that they used while he was at work.

[BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability]

I gave my mum the equivalent of what she lost in child benefit when I started working ft, so I think that was about £40 a month? Food was paid for, but I'd been buying my own clothes/toiletries etc from "my" share of the cb before then (eldest so I should have had more )

[BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability]

IfIOnly* I hope every day that my mum will tell me shes done that with my rent (I live in a house owned by my parents now, not with them)!

[BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability]

DH has just pointed out that the total rent we've paid over the last few years living here is about a third of the house value!!

[formicadinosaur]

I would charge them 80 monthly but save it secretly and then return it as a lump sum when they move into a house.

[witchofmiddx]

It wouldn't even occur to me to charge my own child to live at home. I appreciate that would teach them nothing about budgeting, but I just couldn't do it.

[longingforsomesleep]

witch - I'm with you. I get what everyone is saying but I just couldn't do it unless I was struggling to make ends meet, which fortunately, at the moment, I'm not.

I know it teaches them about budgeting etc but I just want my kids to feel their home is just that - their home, unconditionally, for as long as they want it. When I was in my late teens and twenties home was always a safe place where I could retreat to when I felt in need of molly-coddling and a bit of parental love. It wasn't somewhere I ever had to pay to stay.

Shoot me down now everyone.

[SlangWhanger]

I think in the OPs circumstances £80 sounds about right. It is great that he is saving £300 a month.

[apostropheuse]

I think it depends on the age of the adult son or daughter, how much they earn and what it costs you to keep them. If they're full time students if possible it's good not to ask them for money, but if they work full time why the heck shouldn't they contribute to the household finances?

I paid my parents forty pounds per week thirty odd years ago. I wasn't at all unusual in that. That covered everything except clothes and personal items.

I think it's good that adults pay their own way in life.

[apostropheuse]

Oh sorry I meant to say my son is twenty-five and pays £70 per week. That covers all food, electricity, gas, internet, sky television, phone, a roof over his head etc.

He knows he has a great deal to be fair as he lived on his own for a couple of years and realises the cost of things out in the big bad world.

[Fairdene]

I don't think I could bring myself to charge my DC anything. I suppose I'd assume that if they aren't working to generate much then that's through no fault of them own, so I'd want to help as much as I could.

[Flojobunny]

I used to give my parents half of what I earned and the other half £200 a month had to cover my car etc, didnt leave much at the end of the month but when I left after 3 years, they handed me £1000 back to get bits and pieces for my new place.

[fiverabbits]

My DS is disabled, has never worked and never will but I have his DLA and Income Support which comes to about £700 a month. On the other hand my DD works 33 hours a week, take home pay over £800. She pays us nothing because she says she sometimes does the shopping, gardening, and driving therefore she says earns her keep. She didn't even offer a token amount even though I am on the state pension and my DH has just lost his job through ill health. They both live at home and the DD will get our house as the DS will never be able to live on his own. This is not how we planned to treat our children but she refuses to pay anything and also owes us £32000 after we paid her credit card bills as she is a spendaholic. We have told her that if she gets into anymore debt that it is up to her to sort it out. TAKE the money and return it later for a good reason is a good idea.

[EuroShopperEnergyDrink]

No employer adhers to the 20 year old minimum wage.

He'll be on about £6.20

[ShellyBoobs]

...she refuses to pay anything and also owes us £32000 after we paid her credit card bills as she is a spendaholic.

Are you serious?

[fiverabbits]

SHELLYBOOBS

Yes I am serious.

We have never been in debt even though my DH was in a low paid job and only ever bought things we could afford, she doesn't take after us.

[FiftyShadesofGreyMatter]

fiverabbits-if your dd refuses to pay, you refuse to house her, quite simple really!!

[RedHelenB]

I think it is a bit tight to charge him so much if he cares for you as well - sorry!