AIBU 'only' charging my son £80 a month digs? What would you charge your child?

[4thfloor]

i had a thread on Friday on which a few people commented that £80 a month was way too low.

So I'm asking if you have grown up children living at home, how much do charge them in rent/digs/board and lodgings?

Our set up is

DS1 has just turned 20, he works 16 hours a week (minimum wage)

I ask for £80 a month

He pays for all his own food/juice/toiletries/clothes etc

He puts approx £300 a month into his savings account to go towards a deposit for a flat when he moves out rather than me taking the money for board and lodgings

So my question is AIBU for charging him so little in rent and allowing him to save for his future or am I doing the right thing?

If you have grown up children at home how much do you charge them per month?

[martini84]

Sounds fine to me. I used to pay £100 per month when I was on about 7k.

[BackforGood]

ant - it's £5 an hour Linky
So 16hrs x £5 x 4.5 weeks a month = £360

but I see your point.......

[ShellyBoobs]

BackforGood - it says £4.98 on the link you posted??

16 x £4.98 x 4.333 weeks in a month = £345 as antimatter said.

[4thfloor]

I didn't want to have to say this because I'm still uncomfortable with it myself antimatter . I am in receipt of DLA and DS1 is my carer, so he gets carers allowance which is, I don't know, £50 a week or so

[Floralnomad]

there is no right amount because it depends on individual circumstances . My son is at uni but lives at home ,he has a part time job which pays fairly well . He pays us £100 a month towards the car insurance for the car he shares with his dad ,he buys no food or toiletries but does buy most of his own clothes . If he didnt drive I would not be asking for any money . I often put petrol in the car and last week I bought him new shoes ,but often if he is out shopping he will buy stuff for me or his sister or aunt . He has loads in savings and when he finally gets a job will be able to put a deposit on house if he wants . If he stays here ,working or not I will not be asking for rent .my parents never took money off me,my husbands parents did, my husband and I prefer to do it like this .

[4thfloor]

Obviously that is in addition to his wages. I completely understand those of you trying to the sums because I didn't mention that in my OP

[antimatter]

if he honestly puts away 300 a month your son makes great start with how much he earns

I think you can charge him however much you see fit - I already am telling my kids they will have to do that in the future when they are not in full-time study.

[melmo26]

I paid 50 a week to my mum and my bro paid 40 (he earned less) the only thing she done was the occasional washing. We bought all our own food, cooked cleaned and all our own clothes shoes toiletries.

I do think dcs should pay digs as it prepares you for life without parents. I think it would have been a bit of a shock when moving out when all of a sudden all your money goes on mortgage/rent council tax etc etc

I'm defo not going to hand everything on a plate to my dcs. What would it teach them!

[Floralnomad]

If you've bought them up to know the value of things and to save etc they will cope fine .As I said my parents never charged me rent when I lived at home and was working ,I contributed in other ways ( paid towards livery bills etc) ,my son does the same sort of thing . When I moved out it wasn't difficult ,you have your income and you make sure you're outgoings don't exceed it ,its not exactly rocket science !

[Justforlaughs]

My DS is 20, he dropped out of education at 17 so, as he was working part-time we told him that he had to give us the £60 that we had lost in child benefit. That is mine to keep. Anything he earns over £220 (his wage at that time) gets split 50/50 and half gets saved for him, for when he leaves home. In 2 years he has got over £7000 saved (mainly through overtime). We have also told him that every September his rent increases, by an amount still to be agreed, so that at some point it will be cheaper for him to move out than stay at home. He eats the food I cook, if he wants to, but if he wants anything else he has to buy it himself.
I have to say OP that I think that your arrangement seems very fair to me. In fact, if anything I think it verges on being too harsh. It sounds as if he has nothing to left to spend on himself at all, if he saves £300 and he has to pay for his own food as well.

[kay1975]

Can I ask what you do with the £80, if your DS is supplying all his own food etc?

I don't intend on charging my boys, but I do like you, expect them to buy their food ect and after that, expect them to save as much as they can. If they do pay "rent" I would it save it for them.

[Greenkit]

I will be charging 20% of their earnings

[raisah]

I know someone who charged their dc £400 pm but that was put away put away towards their flat deposit. She deliberatly charged that much because she knew they would waste money on rubbish. They were able to move out after 2 years because the money was returned to them.

[ShellyBoobs]

I agree with Aqua.

What you're charging sounds fine, and indeed dla isn't something to be ashamed of!

[hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman]

I have a 23 year old who pays nothing and a 21 year old who makes a token contribution towards the household expenses. The 21 year old has spent a year living independently but has come back this way to pursue a career opportunity, he knows how expensive it is to live and is happy to chip in.

The 23 year old is at uni, works part time and uses her money to get herself backwards and forwards to uni while living here else I very much doubt we could've afforded for her to go to uni.

[HappyMummyOfOne]

I cant imagine charging DS to live in his own home but each to their own. I might charge a little if he was there long after uni and in a good job and save it so that he had a nice nest egg for his first home but wouldnt feel right spending it on bills i would have anyway.

[SirChenjin]

I think you're teaching him valuable life lessons. As adults, we have bills to pay and expenses to meet - just because we continue living in the family home as an adult child doesnt/shouldn't mean that we can ignore these basic facts. Parents who don't encourage their children to pay into the household pot aren't doing their adult offsrping any favours imo, so I think you're doing the right thing OP.

[hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman]

My bills went up again when DS moved back home. It's surprising how much they go down by when they move out, I don't see anything wrong with paying towards your keep when you're a working adult.

[marriedinwhiteagain]

I lived at my mum's 33 years ago for six weeks. My monthly take home was 357 - I had to give her 15 pw for my keep. I was also paying 88pcm in train fares and had to get together a months' rent and a month's deposit in advance for a room in a shared house in London (about 300). I'd have been better off financially at home but that commute was hell. I reckon myu rent and bills came to 200, my food to about another 60 - so with lunches and a bit of spending money I didn't have much left over. Those were the days.

[Clawdy]

If he's saving for a deposit and also paying his own food bills then I would rather he kept the £80 towards his savings. It sounds as if he's being very sensible.

[mysteryfairy]

I actually think if he is also your carer and he covers all his physical expenses I.e. food etc himself it is quite odd to charge him as he isn't costing you anything by being there, but is actually helping you. I assume the level of care he provides is actually more than you could buy for £50 a week? Even factoring the allowance in he has very little disposable income and assuming the reason he only works 16 hours a week is due to his other responsibilities he's opted for quite a challenging way of life for such a young man.

[olidusUrsus]

Minimum wage for a 20 year old is £4.98. It'll be £5.03 from October. www.gov.uk/national-minimum-wage-rates UK Gov.

[olidusUrsus]

Link fail